Well this is somewhere our relationship has never been before, wouldn't you agree?
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
Saying goodbye to you is exhausting beyond belief, it appears to be a massively steep uphill slog, which makes it even easier to give into the blissful relief that I know that you carry. I wish that you could have stayed a secret for a bit longer than you did, but I guess that doesn't change things now, you noisy bastard. I hope that you aren't all that I am.
You still scare me.
There are remarkable things all the time, right in front of us,
but our eyes have like the clouds over the sun
and our lives are paler and poorer if we do not
see them for what they are. If nobody speaks of
remarkable things, how can they be called remarkable?"
I was so young when you took my hand, I was just 11yrs old. I thought you'd lead me through the darkness surrounding me. I didn't realise you'd just take me deeper into it, pulling me along deeper and deeper into the darkness. I didn't realise the light, my way out, was behind me. I trusted you. You lied to me. You held my hand, you helped me. But then you abandoned me, left me stranded. Left me all alone with an addiction that didn't even bring relief anymore. You stole my childhood away and left me feeling very alone in a world I didn't understand. All I knew was you, I didn't feel like I had a choice, no other way of coping. So I continued to use you to cope. But really you were using me weren't you? Why did you choose me? Please, please leave me alone, stop ruling my life. It's MY life and I want to live it. I want to live it without YOU always in the background, laughing at me, laughing at my weakness and making me feel ashamed and worthless.
And get the f**k away from him, don't you dare trap him in your make believe world of comfort and support and relief. He doesn't need you, so BACK OFF. Get away from him, give him his life back. Please.
I want to get away from you and you to never be near me again you have ruined my life and my body. I hate you. Though even when i try leaving you i cant let you go i want to yet its so hard one day i will be strong enough to leave you in my past. Forever.
I really want you now, but i know i shouldnt. you make me so confused :(
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
