ah also... Rosie, Sarah and Roby, you guys said right at the beginning that you didnt feel this topic should be in mental health support.. can i ask.. just for future moderating reasons which area of the forums you feel threads of this topic would be better suited? If anywhere.
I agree maybe General Support, although I think it is hard to place it, but it is something that is very relevant to many people on RYL.
And I wanted to echo Nil in thanking you Squirrelspit (this is so embarassing I've gone blank and forgot your name - sorry), for being so sensitive and helpful on this thread.
I think you'll find, if you read back over, you're the ones preaching very rude, unhelpful and nasty posts. I was initially enjoying a very interesting and thought provoking thread, until insults started being thrown in the mix for what I could see no reason at all.
I think it's become quite obvious who's posts are rude, unhelpful and nasty, I'm sure I don't need to point it out again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodill
Oh and Patchwork - my post *up there* was actually sarcastic, so again, you've got the wrong end of the stick.
Now you really are taking the piss. And I am so fu*****g angry, I'm not even going to bother telling you what I think of you, because I think it's become perfectly obvious. Unlike some people though, I can control myself when upset or angry, and don't take my anger out on others by purposely upsetting or attacking them.
And just for your information, and everyone elses, I know it was sarcastic, I can use sarcasm quite affectively, and also understand it, thank you very much. And as I said, I thought it was rude and nasty, also unneccessary, and probably intended to upset others.
Goodnight, and I hope I don't have the misfortune of finding yet another of your rude and unhelpful posts tomorrow.
"you're telling me I'm stuck here with you?"
"No.. I'm stuck here with you."
I think it's probably a very good idea if we do move on from this, as some people were finding it quite helpful. I'm also grateful to those who have been sensitive and understanding.
It has been suggested to me that we start an autism or AS specific thread somewhere, but to be honest, after the attitudes of some individuals I have encountered today, I feel it may be unwelcome, and fear it may do more harm than good.
I wasn't able watch the documentary, was it any good? I will hopefully watch it online. I haven't seen the film you mentioned either, though I looked it up and it sounds interesting. xD
"you're telling me I'm stuck here with you?"
"No.. I'm stuck here with you."
I thought the documentary was really informative. Because obviously I don't know what it's like to be autistic, but when you read "communication difficulties" or "difficulties in expressing emotion" they are such vague terms that it is hard to actually visualise how it might affect a person.
I was wondering though, of your opinions (Nil and Patchwork) as to how you felt the people's parents were towards them, because to me with both the 15 year old one and the one who went on a date that their parents seemed really overprotective. Did you think that was the case or did you think the parents were appropriate?
(sorry I know you hate me) I just looked it up on my university couselling website, and they say people with all kinds of troubles are welcome, and specifically mention offering a "listening ear to anyone struggling with family conflicts, self-harm, exam stress, troubles from learning difficulties or aspergers syndrome...."
The counselling service hasn't yet been bombed, so I'm not the only one to think that every person deserves compassion and a listening ear if they voluntarily choose to seek it out.
And as bitchy as this sounds, I'm glad you are "so ****ing angry, really pissed off" etcetc patchwork, because it proves my point that people with aspergers and ASDs can have insight into their disorder/health problem/whatever you choose to call it,and can talk about it. Whereas Nil said you can't do that (i.e. tell someone when you are experiencing an emotion). I could find the quote for you, it was the one going on about "lacking insight" "people with aspergers lack the capacity" etc.
I'm sorry you think that my behaviour is horrible. I've actually been complimented at work (voluntary - people with LDs and ASD) on being non-judgemental and for taking the time to talk to the patients. So I just suppose it is a personality thing.
I hope you're ok. I have calmed down anyway, I hope you can see that some of my posts were sarcastic, or me getting upset. I'll go now, and when I next see the university counsellor, I'll ask her about this, and inform her that some people think the uni counselling service should refuse to offer appointments to anyone with ASD/Aspergers.
I thought the documentary was really informative. Because obviously I don't know what it's like to be autistic, but when you read "communication difficulties" or "difficulties in expressing emotion" they are such vague terms that it is hard to actually visualise how it might affect a person.
I was wondering though, of your opinions (Nil and Patchwork) as to how you felt the people's parents were towards them, because to me with both the 15 year old one and the one who went on a date that their parents seemed really overprotective. Did you think that was the case or did you think the parents were appropriate?
I felt that the 15-year-old's parents didn't know how to treat him, though I don't deny they were doing their best. The mother talked to him in a condescending tone a lot of the time, and as for the father physically restraining him/talk of pushing him into a cold shower to calm him down.. well.. it was obvious the boy didn't understand why they did this, and he thought they had attacked him for no reason, making him a very confused and hurt teenager. When I was a kid and would get overwhelmed, I'd often not want anyone near me, and lash out if someone tried to touch me (like the Mum did). Sometimes my parents would slap me as a response, and because I didn't understand why this was I had massive problems trusting them for years, and still do. My Mum locked me in the kitchen when I was 14 and I was so scared I tried to break the window to get out and she called the police, who then called paramedics to fix up my hand, and my Mum really thought I was insane. I was undiagnosed then.
As for the one who went on a date, he had AS and I think seemed very close to his Mum. I feel she was right to be overprotective because it seemed to me like his naivete could be extremely exploited.
Overall, not really. It could look overprotective from the outside but.. hell.. sometimes I wish someone was looking over my shoulder, because I have days where I'm as innocent as them.
Last edited by someoneiusedtoknow : 13-08-2009 at 01:14 AM.
(sorry I know you hate me) I just looked it up on my university couselling website, and they say people with all kinds of troubles are welcome, and specifically mention offering a "listening ear to anyone struggling with family conflicts, self-harm, exam stress, troubles from learning difficulties or aspergers syndrome...."
The counselling service hasn't yet been bombed, so I'm not the only one to think that every person deserves compassion and a listening ear if they voluntarily choose to seek it out.
And as bitchy as this sounds, I'm glad you are "so ****ing angry, really pissed off" etcetc patchwork, because it proves my point that people with aspergers and ASDs can have insight into their disorder/health problem/whatever you choose to call it,and can talk about it. Whereas Nil said you can't do that (i.e. tell someone when you are experiencing an emotion). I could find the quote for you, it was the one going on about "lacking insight" "people with aspergers lack the capacity" etc.
I'm sorry you think that my behaviour is horrible. I've actually been complimented at work (voluntary - people with LDs and ASD) on being non-judgemental and for taking the time to talk to the patients. So I just suppose it is a personality thing.
I hope you're ok. I have calmed down anyway, I hope you can see that some of my posts were sarcastic, or me getting upset. I'll go now, and when I next see the university counsellor, I'll ask her about this, and inform her that some people think the uni counselling service should refuse to offer appointments to anyone with ASD/Aspergers.
x
Can someone PLEASE stop this user being a complete cow, because she's acting like every f*cking bully I've dealt with in my entire life with her confusing mix of sarcasm and weird invented responses (things I've never said) and I swear I'm actually going to cry.
Yes, we can tell when we're upset. No, we don't have the capacity to understand our emotions. I can TELL you that you've upset me but I can't say WHAT upset means. When a psych asked me how I feel when I cry I said "wet" for f*ck's sake.
You are the most judgemental person I've ever met! I really hope you don't have a position of responsibility because you are so condescending and just plain rude that I don't know what to say anymore and tbh I'm having trouble controlling my symptoms now so I think I'm going to shut up before I start acting inappropriately.
People deserve compassion, though I seriously wonder if you know the definition because I have not seen an ounce of it from you, from someone who knows how to treat autistic people - evident in the fact that if I ever met you through a counseling service I think I'd want to punch you. What did that apology even MEAN?!! You apologised and were then sarcastic? **** it, this is beyond my comprehension.
I really dont want to get my mod stick out, so can i make a request that this thread be either
a) left for those with aspergers/wishing to discuss/learn about aspergers to talk and stuff
or
b) this thread be locked, and a seperate aspergers/autism (do they even belong together) thread made?
Please stop using this thread to prove a point or whatever, and maybe approach the topic with an open mind and a little compassion. Please do not claim to have understanding of how something feels if you personally have not experienced it.
I really dont want to get my mod stick out, so can i make a request that this thread be either
a) left for those with aspergers/wishing to discuss/learn about aspergers to talk and stuff
or
b) this thread be locked, and a seperate aspergers/autism (do they even belong together) thread made?
Please stop using this thread to prove a point or whatever, and maybe approach the topic with an open mind and a little compassion. Please do not claim to have understanding of how something feels if you personally have not experienced it.
thank you.
Charlie
I was considering making a separate thread a while ago but that Daffodil person put me off because I find her responses really hurtful and I think she might troll the new one.
Meh. I'm going to go and cry and maybe come back to this tomorrow. Sorry.
Rosie, if there was a thread specifically for talking etc about your experiences with aspergers, it could be controlled in such a way that any comment that went outside the perameter you guys had set could be removed immediately.
Nil and patchwork, thank you for taking the time to try and explain this awful, confusing disorder.
Like 'no reason', i was seeing your responses (nil/rosie, i mean) as merely rude/angry...now i know to look at them differently.
Thank you for trying to explain as best you can.
But you are absolutely right, someone without the disorder will never truly understand it, how it actually feels...
Im sorry one member has been so disrespectful and ignorant.
But we arent all like that.
i think it would be a great idea to have a thread for as/asd/autism/etc.
I find it very interesting personally.
I believe you are absolutely both right as well, you deserve specific,knowledgeable treatment for your specific 'disorder'.
I cant imagine how it is to live with.
Again, thank you for sharing how it is for you both.
I have seen the new movie (adam) advertised and am interested ion seeing it. If anyone does (hopefully nil or patchwork) id be interested to know how accurate you find it.
Take care, both of you
You know what. I give up. Obviously you don't understand Daffodil, and most likely you never will. I often wonder wether it's worth the time and energy I spend trying to explain myself to others. You've answered that question for me nicely.
Yes, I'm taking this personally, because aimed at me or not, if you're talking about AS, you're talking about the way I am. I have enough things to deal with in my life without trying to educate ignorant people such as yourself. I was enjoying the conversation I was having with Nil until ignorant, uneducated and close-minded people decided to start an argument about something they know little about.
I rarely talk to anybody, my life is an isolated one because of my problems, so thank you for destroying the first engaging conversation I've had with anyone on this matter for a long time. I hope you've achieved what you set out to do by turning this thread into an argument.
^^ so sorry you were made to feel this way. I cant imagine how frustrating this attitude/reaction is to you.
Like i said, not all of us are like this.
pls dont stop talking/sharing.
Take care
The counselling service hasn't yet been bombed, so I'm not the only one to think that every person deserves compassion and a listening ear if they voluntarily choose to seek it out.
I completely agree.. "If they voluntarily choose to seek it out", exactly our point. Having talking therapies forced on us is NOT helpful, and actually quite damaging. As we have been saying since the beginning of this thread, if professionals are trained, they can help, if they're not, they usually don't. Showing compassion to and comforting an autistic person is completely different to doing the same to a "normal" person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodill
And as bitchy as this sounds, I'm glad you are "so ****ing angry, really pissed off" etcetc patchwork, because it proves my point that people with aspergers and ASDs can have insight into their disorder/health problem/whatever you choose to call it,and can talk about it. Whereas Nil said you can't do that (i.e. tell someone when you are experiencing an emotion). I could find the quote for you, it was the one going on about "lacking insight" "people with aspergers lack the capacity" etc.
Of course we lack insight. And we have trouble showing or explaining emotions, it is a problem that all autistic people share to some degree.. WE LACK COMMUNICATION SKILLS.. communicating our feelings to others is difficult.. especially when hounded into talking, being pushed into situations we feel uncomfortable in... Few reasons why that might be, just to enlighten you..
"To be diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a child must have a combination of these symptoms and severe trouble with social situations."
"Helping them develop some insight into the condition is an important step towards adjusting to, or at least coping with, the way the rest of the world works."
" they find it more difficult to communicate and interact with others which can lead to high levels of anxiety and confusion."
"Often misunderstood and rejected, people with Asperger’s Syndrome
have very low self-esteem"
"People with the condition have difficulties in three main areas. They are:
social communication
social interaction
social imagination"
"have difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about"
"Diagnostic criteria for Asperger's : (4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity."
HAVE I MADE IT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU? Good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodill
I'm sorry you think that my behaviour is horrible. I've actually been complimented at work (voluntary - people with LDs and ASD) on being non-judgemental and for taking the time to talk to the patients. So I just suppose it is a personality thing.
I wonder why then, you fail to be non-judgemental here, why you feel the need to draw everyone into an argument, why you can't try and be a little more understanding?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodill
I hope you're ok. I have calmed down anyway, I hope you can see that some of my posts were sarcastic, or me getting upset. I'll go now, and when I next see the university counsellor, I'll ask her about this, and inform her that some people think the uni counselling service should refuse to offer appointments to anyone with ASD/Aspergers.
I'll say it again, just in case you missed it.. AGAIN..
Having talking therapies forced on us by mental health professionals is NOT helpful, and actually quite damaging. As we have been saying since the beginning of this thread, if professionals are trained, they can help, if they're not, they usually don't. Showing compassion to and comforting an autistic person is completely different to doing the same for a "normal" person. I suggest you ask your university counsellor what exactly she knows about Aspergers, and if she feels a little more information on the condition would be of any help to her.
From The National Autistic Society's website:
"Whatever approach the counsellor uses, it is worth asking what awareness and experience the counsellor has in working with your particular difficulty, and if they know what an autism spectrum disorder is. There is a high possibility that they will not have worked with someone with this diagnosis before, so it is worth explaining it to them. You could also give them The National Autistic Society's Information Centre telephone number (listed below) so that they can get further information."
I really hope you go away and think about this post before you make yet another ridiculous comment on a subject you obviously have little understanding of.
I was considering making a separate thread a while ago but that Daffodil person put me off because I find her responses really hurtful and I think she might troll the new one.
Meh. I'm going to go and cry and maybe come back to this tomorrow. Sorry.
After today, I don't think I actually even want to discuss AS anymore. I'm sick of being made to feel stupid, and being attacked and insulted because of who I am. If I'm going to encounter this kind of attitude, I'm not interested.. I'm uncomfortable expressing my opinions here now, I'm upset, pissed off, and to be perfectly honest, I'm really disappointed that I've been made to feel this way in one of the only places I (usually) feel able to express my opinions and communicate with other people.
But oh well, you had a point to prove, no matter who you upset in the process daffodill. Well done. I hope you're satisfied.
"you're telling me I'm stuck here with you?"
"No.. I'm stuck here with you."
Tony Attwood has described Asperger’s Syndrome as: “a different way of
approaching life, one that is dominated by the pursuit of knowledge and truth”."
I like that quote a lot and it makes me feel guilty for just wishing I'd never been born autistic.
I also like Simon Baron-Cohen (Ali G's cousin.. I always found that funny).
Patchwork, please don't let someone stop you from expressing yourself, like you told me, you feel comfortable here, don't let ANYONE take that feeling away, many people appreciate this thread, you and Nil have turned this thread into something so much more than anyone thought it would have been, it's very informative and says so much more than the basics on other sites.
Like I said, emotions are on a high, so maybe take a break from this thread and try and calm down?
Thankyou Pup, you've made me feel better and less ostracised. I might consider making an information post at some point but not tonight. Thanks to everyone who's been supportive, I've never talked about my condition properly with anyone and it means a lot when people are kind.
That's okay Nil, I hope you do consider creating a thread, but tonight, I can see that emotions are very high, and like said, any comments that are offensive or anything of that sort if the thread is created will be removed.
Well done to you both for creating such an informative thread here though, whether you create a thread or not, there is still a lot of information here, and it has, and could help many more people.
