I'm not feeling great either. Head cold & tutoring/classes today... don't want to be here but thankfully the week is almost over. And I got my car back so I have some freedom, woohoo. :) Don't have to be driven everywhere. Only problem is that they couldn't find a problem & she doesn't sound like she should (she = my car)... sounds louder & makes a "whoop whoop whoop"ing sound when I drive her above 20mph. :(
I just want to hide forever. I hate life.
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*curls up in a corner after his technical exam and 6 hours of playing french horn continuously
I am tired and now some drummer is playing really loudly a few floors below.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
*hugs Naty & Oliver* How you two doing? I bet you're tired, Oliver. Hopefully you can get some rest tonight!!
I'm feeling crummy. Advanced counseling class touched on some close-to-home topics like self harm & suicide... makes me want to die even more. :(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*cuddles April* that sounds really tough.
I remember an RE class on bullying when I was 15/16 and going through my worst patch of bullying I just walked out because I couldnt stay in the room anymore.
I'm not doing good, just a lot of stuff hitting home about gender and stuff, making me really triggered.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Awh Oliver *cuddles* I'm sorry that you feel triggered... I probably would too. I was triggered in class... it was pretty awful. I wished that I could've said something to the prof but what would I have said? "I'm passively suicidal & talking about it just makes it worse"?? so I didn't say anything... just let it pass. I'm learning how to feel my feelings without necessarily acting on them, which is a good thing.
I'm really frustrated with myself... I was supposed to go up to 30mg Abilify last week & I haven't yet... I need to either fill the script or cut my 20mgs in half (because that's what I'm on now). Ugh. I hate being psychotic.
So freaking tired. My eyes don't want to stay open, but it's only 6:15pm. Already had a shower and supper so could go to bed whenever, but I don't want to wake up around 4am tomorrow!!
Just bought a new cd... adding it to my iPod. Woohoo. :)
Anyway. *hides*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*hugs Naty* I understand... except I couldn't just walk out (not that you were suggesting it, just commenting) as that would count as an absence & I want to have perfect attendance just like every other year.
*hugs DG (sorry don't know your first name!!* What's up, sweetie?
I just wrote in my r/v thread if anyone cares to read... suicide trigger.
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*cuddles April* I say good for you for not walking out and for wanting 100% attendance, thats really positive, but I'm sorry it was triggering and tough to go through. Will read your post in Rand V in a min.
*cuddles Naty* anything I can do to help?
*cuddles Ash* whats wrong?
I thought watching question time would help, maybe calm me down and help relieve some triggers, but no I get stressed because I always have a strong opinion on stuff and then the final question is about assitisted suicide, which isn't great especially when they go on about people with degenitive diseases and keep mentioning MS, when my mum has MS.
Got doctors in the morning so should try get some sleep, but brain is so awake.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
