i'm just a bit tired of fighting i guess, i had a few months where i hardly ever felt suicidal and now its back to every day.
thanks for the kind words x
Im sorry to interupt any conversations going on, and i dont mean to be a bother.. So i apologize for this. But im struggling alot right now.. Well for a while now, ive been thinking about suicide alot. I feel crazy. Its like i can look at my wrists and see it happening, not like im hallucinating or anything, i have no psychotic issues or anything, at least i dont believe i do, just like i see it, and want it to be real..
In my wildest dreams,
You always play the hero.
And in the darkest hour of night,
You rescure me.
You save my life.
Last night, I was having a really bad night because my sister felt like she had to boss me around when I was clearly in the middle of doing something... It made me really upset, so I went into my room for a bit... When I was in my room, all I could think of was sh and killing myself... So I turned on music and read until I was feeling better enough to go back into the living room, where everyone else was.
Now I just don't know if I want to live or if I want to die...
well i went down to the river yesterday, but i actually didnt try to kill myslef... i just sat crying.... i wish i wasnt such a coward and could get it over and done with! My grandad died 4 years ago today and im just not sure if i am going to be able to get through the night. Im sorry for wasting your time for reading this.
without hope, theres no life. so whats my point in living?
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.
Lea14 I can understand what you are describing. Have you told anyone? Can you share it with a trusted friend? Doctor? If you are unsafe can you call a hotline or go to a hospital? I've been there with the depression and visualizations and it's not a fun place to be. Please be careful.
Mum, I have no one i can tell, all of my freinds well, they would judge me, think im crazy, and not help at all. Or atleast im pretty sure they would. I dont know what to do anymore..
In my wildest dreams,
You always play the hero.
And in the darkest hour of night,
You rescure me.
You save my life.
Lea14 if you share with your doctor he/she won't judge you or be surprised. Can you try to open up about it even a little bit maybe a small thing just to test the waters and see how it goes? Please start somewhere and try the dr. It safe and that's someone who can actually help. What do you think? Or a counsellor?
Mayhem :( that sucks I'm so sorry. I'm not either. But keep going. Don't give up. Please. You are worth it. You are valuable. I want to see you doing well. Do you want to talk about it?
Everything is falling apart. I keep seeing my abuser, I keep hurting myself, I'm failing Uni, and disappointing everyone. I don't see why I should keep going.
From Nymph to Dragonfly, I know my place.
Call me Bee. =) Like it or Lump it.
‘Cause the passion and pain are gonna keep you alive someday
with the parents gone and nothing to look forward to, why should i go on.. i mean honestly whats the point.. ihave nothing to look forward to, i know everyone says your mom wants to see you grow up but no whos gunna walk me down the isle who is going to be my childs grandparents they wont ever know my parents.. its not fair ending it all has more positives than negatives to me..
I am not doing it for myself, I am doing it for them!
Love and miss them like crazy
