I felt like, in alot of what they said..it was like shoving Christianity down my throat. I am a very open minded person, and i'm sure in time if i was to choose to become a regular church going Christian - that should be down to ME and MY own mind, not because i am forced into it.
ok...i know ive just been whining in here a lot and i'm really really sorry..its probably extremely annoying...
i'm just feeling really down at the moment...i just ruined 3 months yesterday...and i feel like i've just opened pandora's box back up...=(
and i feel even worse because a lady from my church wants me to give a little of my testimony on wed. at church...i feel like i'm not worthy for it anymore...i messed up...
dazedandconfused *hugs* please don't think of it as ruining 3 months becasue that will only make you feel worse, it was a bump in the road but you just have to try and get up and carry on and not let it get worse. 3 months is an amazing length of time and you've done it and no one will ever be able to take that away from you. Think about how far you've come and think about where you could be headed if you get back on track and try to do it. I know it feels really really rubbish but dont concentrate on that just work on getting back up.
I think you're definitely worthy of giving a bit of you testimony! If you managed to go 3 months free then somethings changed in you and i think people would love to hear about it. Recovery is always a work in progress, no one expects you to get it right first time because no one can get it right first time, you will struggle so don't feel unworthy for being human. God definitely doesn't expect you to get it right first time, we can never dissapoint him or let him down because he has no expectations of us but he loves us all the same. I'm praying for you, I hope things start to get better and that you do do your testimony.
'The nights of crying your eyes out give way to the days of laughter' Psalm 30 v 5
Eryn: I agree with pineapple. Just because you made a mistake doesn't undo everything God has done. A righteous (wo)man fall 7 times, but gets back up 8 (yes, we've heard that everywhere but it is actually from the bible...). I think it's important for people to know that everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes. In fact, I'm going to post a bit of something I sent the prayer team a while back, because I think you need to hear it.
" i've found that the best thing to do is learn to be vulnerable. the current generation won't accept anything that doesn't seem authentic, raw, genuine. it's important to be open and honest about our humanity and our struggles and our sin, because then other people are more comfortable to do the same, and everyone can really begin to change. it's been said that people are drawn to two types of people: those who seem to have it all together, and those who know they don't and won't pretend otherwise. as christians, we all know that no one has it together. god's strength is made perfect in our weakness, but no one's gonna see god working in us if we don't let them see our wounded areas. the moments i've had in church that have really changed my life have been the ones where people have done just that. my retreat speaker last year, who i will never ever forget and still pray for all the time, got up at the last service and threw away the message he'd had prepared. he told us he always spent the last service talking about how we could use our strengths, but he felt like god was telling him to do the opposite that night. he stood on that stage in front of 3000 teens and confessed his weaknesses and flaws to us. he talked about his anger at being abused as a child, his trouble trusting god, his ow self-esteem, his stuggle with anorexia and how he still had bad days. he then invited us to yell out our weaknesses, whatever was holding us back...my life changed that night. i remember crying my eyes out, remember finally feeling that there was hope for me because this guy was no better or worse than i was.
the point of that long ranty story was mostly the last sentence. so many people out there are convinced that christianity just isn't for them, because they're too messed up. that's the message that gets sent to the si/ed community, to abused people, to homosexuals and drug addicts and the very people that JESUS WOULD HAVE BEEN SPENDING HIS TIME WITH. because christians get caught up playing these silly games, worrying about what others think of them, trying to look clean and good and perfect. none of us are. There's a line from a really great song by Josh Wilson called Something's Gotta Change: "I can't believe I'm hearing people say that all is well, I think it's time that we admit there is no good within ourselves". The chorus of the same song is "Everybody says we're all so different, but everybody knows we're all the same. We're all trying to find a pill to numb the pain." The best thing you can do is let them all see that you are just like them. That's what will convince them that another life is possible."
...I think in looking for the right thing to tell you, I have just gotten my own spiritual life somewhat back on track. I've been been on a major guilt trip this week, between survivor's guilt after the death of a childhood friend and guilt from hitting a car with a woman and 3 children inside it, and then having to tell the police and insurance companies things i'm guessing at, at best, because i don't remember much of it. It's possible that I'm lying to them, and she's the one that will end up in trouble because of it. :sighs: So, yeah, not doing so great right now. So, thank you for being a blessing in my life, Eryn :) God just used you in a big way. Still think you're not worthy of your testimony? ;) God works miracles, not magic. Your problems aren't going to just disappear. I struggled for years, even though I also had a long stretch after I got saved where I was SI free. So please, don't let one mistake drag you back into the pattern. You can do it! Or, at least, God can :)
One last thing. I'm sort of hestitant to mention this, since I know it's impossible for me to have done it on my own and I don't want people thinking it's me, but...yesterday, with all the craziness, I forgot to mention that I'm 10 months SI free :)
I wasn't to know this before i recieved my application form. I knew that Christianity was the religion based on the foundations of the making of Mercy Ministers, i didn't however, know it was completely Christian based and no other religion was accepted.
My GP already knows that i'm not necessarily Christian, however, he still recommended it to me believing they would accept me regardless.
But having researched Mercy Ministers, it's background & the ongoing problems various people are having with them, i feel that - even in the application form - they suffocate you with the belief's of God, and aren't willing to accept others who don't necessarily have a Christian background/want to be a devoted Christian.
I'm a 22 year old woman, i feel like i should beable to make my own mind up in regards to my religion.
I probably would have been more swayed towards Mercy Ministers if i felt they had an open minded approach, but i don't feel like they do.
If you feel it's in your best interests to go there - i wish you the best of luck.
" i've found that the best thing to do is learn to be vulnerable. the current generation won't accept anything that doesn't seem authentic, raw, genuine. it's important to be open and honest about our humanity and our struggles and our sin, because then other people are more comfortable to do the same, and everyone can really begin to change. it's been said that people are drawn to two types of people: those who seem to have it all together, and those who know they don't and won't pretend otherwise. as christians, we all know that no one has it together. god's strength is made perfect in our weakness, but no one's gonna see god working in us if we don't let them see our wounded areas. the moments i've had in church that have really changed my life have been the ones where people have done just that. my retreat speaker last year, who i will never ever forget and still pray for all the time, got up at the last service and threw away the message he'd had prepared. he told us he always spent the last service talking about how we could use our strengths, but he felt like god was telling him to do the opposite that night. he stood on that stage in front of 3000 teens and confessed his weaknesses and flaws to us. he talked about his anger at being abused as a child, his trouble trusting god, his ow self-esteem, his stuggle with anorexia and how he still had bad days. he then invited us to yell out our weaknesses, whatever was holding us back...my life changed that night. i remember crying my eyes out, remember finally feeling that there was hope for me because this guy was no better or worse than i was.
the point of that long ranty story was mostly the last sentence. so many people out there are convinced that christianity just isn't for them, because they're too messed up. that's the message that gets sent to the si/ed community, to abused people, to homosexuals and drug addicts and the very people that JESUS WOULD HAVE BEEN SPENDING HIS TIME WITH. because christians get caught up playing these silly games, worrying about what others think of them, trying to look clean and good and perfect. none of us are. There's a line from a really great song by Josh Wilson called Something's Gotta Change: "I can't believe I'm hearing people say that all is well, I think it's time that we admit there is no good within ourselves". The chorus of the same song is "Everybody says we're all so different, but everybody knows we're all the same. We're all trying to find a pill to numb the pain." The best thing you can do is let them all see that you are just like them. That's what will convince them that another life is possible."
this looks very familiar jacie...
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
okay, guys...i'm in a bit of a sticky situation here and i'm trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. what do you think?
as I mentioned, I was in a car accident yesterday. I was driving. Technically, the other driver was at fault...I think. I was making a left turn, but I had a green arrow...which changed when I was halfway through the turn, because the light is really short. So the other driver *did* have a green light, but so did I, and I'm pretty sure she's going to be declared at fault for not checking to make sure the intersection was clear. However...from what I could tell, she was a young single mother with 2 children. I doubt she would be able to afford any raised payments, or the hospital trip both of us had to take. But, I'm living with my parents...I pay for insurance, but if i'm declared at fault their insurance goes up too, which they can't really afford either... :is confused: I don't know what to do.
no jacie i just found it amusing sry for freaking you out. I dont no what to tell you about your car accident i dont even have my permit yet.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
If it was green when you drove past it, then it's the other drivers fault. And even if your green changed, there is still some time before she got hers. She should have checked. Honestly, if she wasn't in a completely different universe, she should have seen you. As for about insurance... I can't really say cause the situation in Slovenia is (I think) rather different. Quite different.
I hope you're OK. *hugs*
Praying.
P.S.: Does anyone know which prophet was the first to mention how Jesus was going to be born? And where in the Big Book *grins* that is.
Micah 5:2
But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.
Isaiah 9:6-7
[6] For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. [7] Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. ...
Isaiah 7:14
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel
Isaiah 37:31
Once more a remnant of the house of Judah will take root below and bear fruit above.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Angel_Girl: The very first prophecy about Jesus is found in Genesis, believe it or not. Genesis 3:15, the protoevangelium. Bible gateway says "Genesis 3:15 : Christ fulfills through his victory over Satan the wonderful promise here spoken. See also Isa. 9:6; Matt. 1:23; Luke 1:31; Rom. 16:20; Gal. 4:4; Rev. 12:17." It's been argued that the phrasing suggests Jesus' virgin birth ("seed of a woman").
Last edited by aquatickitten : 28-09-2008 at 04:52 AM.
Reason: spelling
I wasn't to know this before i recieved my application form. I knew that Christianity was the religion based on the foundations of the making of Mercy Ministers, i didn't however, know it was completely Christian based and no other religion was accepted.
My GP already knows that i'm not necessarily Christian, however, he still recommended it to me believing they would accept me regardless.
But having researched Mercy Ministers, it's background & the ongoing problems various people are having with them, i feel that - even in the application form - they suffocate you with the belief's of God, and aren't willing to accept others who don't necessarily have a Christian background/want to be a devoted Christian.
I'm a 22 year old woman, i feel like i should beable to make my own mind up in regards to my religion.
I probably would have been more swayed towards Mercy Ministers if i felt they had an open minded approach, but i don't feel like they do.
If you feel it's in your best interests to go there - i wish you the best of luck.
Isaiah 7:14
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.
That's the one. I've been making plans for this year's community nativity scene. I was thinking about making a huge tent (in church of course), called Isaiah's tent and the nativity scene in it. Christmas is, by far, my favourite feast day of all.
Yeah. Christmas is pretty awesome, even if Jesus was born in the springtime :) Celebrations are celebrations, so who really cares when it happens? Always thought it rather silly that people fight over it, myself.
That sounds like a good idea Angel_girl. I love christmas.. remembering my saviours birth :)
I posted earlier about my health, requesting prayer, well at the moment its got quite a bit worse and I'm worried that I may have to go to hospital again.
aquatickitten: well done for making it to 10months SI free. Thankyou for your post.. It is very true that God works through our weaknesses. As christians we need to admit that we have struggles, we are after all only human but we also need to remember that we have God to help us. A few years ago turning to God would be a last resort for help with my problems, now I'm learning to turn to God first because nothing is impossible for him. Part of our service this morning was about casting our burdens onto Jesus and praising him even in the midst of our trails.
~Here I am at your feet in my brokenness complete~
I've been a Catholic all my life, but I have my doubts about God. To tell the truth, these past couple of months I've been more Atheist than Christian.
