why bother?!

[not_so_insig]

I have previously mentioned safer ways to help victims of crime darkwings. Maybe go back and read them?

[Darkwings44]

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Worst Witch

As someone who has been hurt by these people, I don’t appreciate your assumption that I want my abuser dead. I don’t want him dead becaise that means he then becomes the victim. If my friend were to fight my abuser for me, not only would I lose a friend because they would go to jail or get killed, I lose a feiend and he gets peoples sympathy because someone attacked him.

Two wrongs do not make a right.

im sorry i offended you.............

and youre right he doesnt derseve any sympathy at all for what he did but i still think that he should go to hell though when he does die

[Darkwings44]

im thinking of becomeing a cop so i can have a team to fight them

[not_so_insig]

Being a cop requires a certain degree of intelligence and probably a college education. You have previously mentioned that you haven't graduated from college so you would need to work on your education first. Even if you have the intelligence there are certain rules and laws you need to follow as a cop - you can't go in all heavy handed. Not every crime gets a conviction and even if you were a cop there may be times where justice isn't served.

Being a cop is mentally and physically tough - it isn't just about solving crime/locking up the bad guys. Can you honestly say you can cope going to school shootings, murder scenes and occasions where someone may be having a mh crisis? As a cop you would be required to attend them. I don't know about the requirements to become a cop over there but certain mh conditions automatically stop you from being accepted such as schizophrenia in the UK. They also don't accept active self-harmers. I imagine it's similar in the usa.

[Auror.]

Actually, you generally don't need a college degree to become a police officer. Some states may require a 2 year degree, but not all do. To enter the police academy there will likely be an entrance exam that you need to pass and most will have both a physical fitness test to pass as well as proving you have knowledge of law, law enforcement, plus passing a mental health fitness side to the exam. They usually also require speaking to references so it's not like you can just lie about things in order to pass.

Darkwings, it's certainly a career path you could look into. But think you would need to be honest with yourself as to whether or not you could pass the physical and mental health fitness portions of an exam. Generally if you've had past issues with mental illness you would not be able to pass, even if you are no longer struggling with them.

These fields tend to be pretty strict, ableist and pretty discriminatory in general, and not super friendly towards anyone with any type of difference like a disability or who is lgbtq+.

Police offiers also don't just go around fighting people, so don't really think this would accomplish what you are thinking it might. Also don't know if you've ever seen or read any statistics, but the vast majority of crimes as well as sexual assault and other attacks go both under reported and under solved. These systems and those who run them are very broken and don't function as you might like to believe.

Want about looking into other careers or volunteer jobs for helping marginalised folks? Things that are more on the philanthropy and social services side of things? You have a great deal of empathy, so it makes sense you want to help people. But it really doesn't currently sound like you have a good enough handle on your own issues to do so.

Maybe trying to work on being stable enough and independent enough to do some of these things would be good motivation for you to focus on yourself first?

[Darkwings44]

well i hate the idea of me being a cop but My friend from Reddit suggested that I became a cop here is his post

That is a terrible idea

I know there’s a fuck ton of issues in the world but going on a one-person crusade to free sex trafficking victims is not the way to do things even in an imperfect world

If you really feel like you want to help them and help others- there are proper pathways to this sort of thing. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend joining the police academy but if you feel that strongly about helping people that would be the best and fastest path to doing that

I can imagine your family is freaking out that you sent that to them. Don’t get yourself killed

Please
_____

Then here’s the reply I sent to him

But I hate cops why would I be one??????
——
but... The more I think about it the more I think he’s right I can’t just slay everyone that is a pimp alone I need a team to fight with me that’s why I’m going to try to be a cop i already told him that ill try to
Even though I’m going to hate myself more than before for being a cop I don’t think I have a lot of other options to do anything else besides nothing but I have to do something

[Darkwings44]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

Actually, you generally don't need a college degree to become a police officer. Some states may require a 2 year degree, but not all do. To enter the police academy there will likely be an entrance exam that you need to pass and most will have both a physical fitness test to pass as well as proving you have knowledge of law, law enforcement, plus passing a mental health fitness side to the exam. They usually also require speaking to references so it's not like you can just lie about things in order to pass.

Darkwings, it's certainly a career path you could look into. But think you would need to be honest with yourself as to whether or not you could pass the physical and mental health fitness portions of an exam. Generally if you've had past issues with mental illness you would not be able to pass, even if you are no longer struggling with them.

These fields tend to be pretty strict, ableist and pretty discriminatory in general, and not super friendly towards anyone with any type of difference like a disability or who is lgbtq+.

Police offiers also don't just go around fighting people, so don't really think this would accomplish what you are thinking it might. Also don't know if you've ever seen or read any statistics, but the vast majority of crimes as well as sexual assault and other attacks go both under reported and under solved. These systems and those who run them are very broken and don't function as you might like to believe.

Want about looking into other careers or volunteer jobs for helping marginalised folks? Things that are more on the philanthropy and social services side of things? You have a great deal of empathy, so it makes sense you want to help people. But it really doesn't currently sound like you have a good enough handle on your own issues to do so.

Maybe trying to work on being stable enough and independent enough to do some of these things would be good motivation for you to focus on yourself first?

but isn't it selfish to focus on myself? i mean in the time that i take care of myself there would be alot of people i could have helped right? so..... woulded be better if i take care of others and not myself and besides i dont derseve to be taken cake of at all

[Auror.]

Your inability to take care of yourself and manage your own emotions and thoughts is, in part, what is making it impossible for you to become more independent and be in a position to help others.

There's that metaphor about when you're on an airplane you have to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping anyone else. That applies here too. You're not in a position, logistically, physically, or mentally, right now to be able to help anyone else. In order to do that, you need to become more stable and more independent.

[Zurg]

Darkwings, i have to agree with Auror on this. No matter how you might be capable of helping exploited women and girls later in your life it is very, very vital to be feeling mentally stable yourself. Only then will you be able to provide the care and empathy that people need WITHOUT digging yourself into a black hole of depression. Helping people requires strength. And also the strength to realise when you can't offer anymore than what you're already offering. And then to understand that sometimes you can't help everyone, you can't force everyone to make better choices and sometimes you have to let people walk away until they are ready. That is really difficult even for people with no mental health related problems.

There will be organisations all over the world who provides help to women and girls in need. You can help them in all sorts of ways. Also in ways that will take your physical and mental health into consideration. But i think you need to discuss this first with someone who knows you well and who wants to help you to make it a nice experience.

[Iamcatbug]

As someone who works in care with vulnerable people i can honestly say that you do need to have the mental capacity to be able to separate your own thoughts and feelings from the stressful, and frankly sometimes distressing situations you are dealing with to support people. And I'm sorry but you are honestly coming across as not having the capacity to be able to look after yourself in a healthy manner never mind to be able to help others.

You also need to have a strong support system that you can utilise around you to help deal with your own mental health when things get bad. Which luckily, I do have in terms of friends and work.

From everything you have posted in here, I really do not think that you are in the position to offer the support to others that you want to. Any time anything goes the way that you don't necessarily like or you perceive as rejection, your solution is to not communicate/cut that person out/threaten to kill yourself. You cannot do that. If there is a victim you are working with that you don't get on with, you can't just cut them off with no warning, there are procedures you need to follow.

One of the big aspects of dealing with victims in these situations is to respect their decisions on things, you cannot and should not force justice on them because you see it as the right thing to do. You may have a duty of care, but that does not mean you can do anything to the person who has committed the crime. There are legal procedures in place to do that. Two illegal acts do not make things right and it would be you who suffered the consequences of your actions.

Honestly I am with everyone else here, while it is admirable that you want to support others, from what you have said, you are, at the moment, a long way from being in the mental headspace to be able to do that.

If you want to support those victims in a supportive and legal manner, the best way to do that is to get support and help yourself first.

[Irisflower]

Hi Darkwings,
I agree with the other posters that you need to help yourself first and feel secure before you help others. In the interim, there are a few things you can do to help others that are fairly straightforward:
https://www.change.org/
Change.org is an organization that takes your signature on petitions and uses the number of signatures to create change. All you need to do is sign the petitions electronically, and you'll know you are affecting people's lives. If you want, too, you can donate to help with the costs of the petition, but you don't have to.
https://www.amnestyusa.org/campaigns/
Amnesty International is an organization where you can write letters to support people in their journey to getting their rights. If you do this, I'd suggest you get a proofreader before submitting anything, but you can definitely affect people's futures by writing to support them!
Also, think about if you get birthday or holiday money, or if you can make money by selling cards, crafts, etc., donating to these organizations instead of spending the money.
I wish you lots of luck with this!

[Darkwings44]

I’m sorry I’ve not been here for a while but I’m not feeling good at all and I’m sorry for bothering all of you with my thoughts and feelings but I did sign my name on the change website and stuff

I don’t know…….. I feel like giving up im so tried of fighting for something that was not and will not be mine until after im dead……… happiness…….

[one_step_closer]

You're not bothering people, it's ok to share how you're feeling. I'm sorry you're not doing good. I don't think you can for sure say you will be happy when you're dead. Happiness is achievable in life even if it seems like it isn't although I don't think you can achieve it directly, it is more like a by product of the things you do in your life and focusing so much on if you are happy are not can just make you feel worse. Are there nice things you could add to your life?

[Darkwings44]

I have listening to music but that basically it

[one_step_closer]

What do you like to listen to? Have you tried looking into new music you could discover or live bands you could see? Are you interested at all in learning a musical instrument?

[Darkwings44]

A bunch of different stuff….
Nah not really

I feel like Sometimes the past comes back to life and I feel like I’m in that time again…….Alone In high school…. It happened today at main event at the arcade part…….when I heard people from the high school that I was in talking about me I I felt like I was back in the high school……alone and ashamed of myself I fucking hate myself so much right now

[Darkwings44]

i showed my caseworker a poem i wrote called damned and she said that it was beautifully written and that not only can i can i heal from the pain of my past but others who read it could heal from theirs as well so I'm going to use my poetry to help others like me and if my parents thinks it too dark and that my poetry is not normal then I'm going to say what is normal? and then fuck you (because im not doing it for them im doing it for other people

i am going to overcome my past and finally heal hopefully.

[one_step_closer]

Poetry is a really great way to express yourself and get things out. I'm glad you feel able to do that. Poetry is personal to you and it doesn't matter what your parents think, do they even need to see it?

[Darkwings44]

Yeah I feel like they do because my mom was the first person that I’ve ever had told a few years ago and she didn’t believe me and no one else believed me hopefully my poems will change that and I want to stand up to my father and tell him in my own way that he will not hurt me anymore because I won’t let him.

[Darkwings44]

It’s getting close to Valentine’s Day and yet again I don’t have a valentine….. just like every year of my life I feel like I’m going to be alone forever and I have nothing to cope with that because my self harm it’s not really working anymore because it’s getting weak………. I don’t know what to do…… how did everything turn into shit this fast and easy!!!!???