It's my fault she knows. I'm sorry. I didn't know that she'd get to know. I thought it was ok to say because she seemed to know anyway. I really hope I haven't messed things up even more for you. I'm so so sorry.
Sometimes the way in life seems cloudy...But remember, after the storm comes clear skies
Im sorry for never quite being good enougth
Sorry for all the times i lied
Sorry if i made you hurt me
All i have ever wanted is your love
I have always loved you but sorry it hurt to much to say it now but i do
Why do you make me feel so funverable, why can't you care
Sorry i dont understand why dont you love me
I never feel happy
The reasion i push you all away is i was abused by my brother
Sorry for crying and not being able to tell you why
Sorry for wishing my life would end
I need you more then you think i do
Im sorry i was born life would be easyer with out me
Thats a lot of sorry and regrets, i just
wise you where here hold me make me feel safe can't you see i need you.
Don't walk behine me I might got you lost!
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow you!
Don't walk beside me the path is to small!
All we can do is walk our own paths,remember your not alone because we are all walking our own paths together!
You know, I don't think I ever want to spend any time with you, ever again.
No, I don't want you to phone me every day.
No, I don't want to see you every weekend
No, I don't want to go to New Zealand with you. I want to go, but not with you.
No, you don't have the right to tell me what to do, how to do it, what to spend my money on, what to wear, what to read, what to watch etc.
When I tell you "You are not my mother", why do you not understand? Why do you insist on continuing with that?
When I say I don't want to do this, that or the other, why do you think that means "of course I do."
Why don't you just leave me the f@@@ alone? Oh, I know. Because you have no other friends, and your family don't like you either. Because you do the above to them as well.
And that makes you the nasty, evil creature we all love to hate.
L
You don't have to be a monkey to recognize a banana!
i know we're talking right now, but the effort is too much - i wish youd tlak about something important and real, i wish your ask me something instead of me forcing the conversation - things just arent the same and i wish youd acknowledge that, beucase im finding it to hard to accept that!
I LOVE YOU! dont you see that come on one of your mates noticed that i still love you without me even mentioning you and i had known him for what 4 hours so why are you so naive to realise it and i know you still love me you just want me to sort myself out and if you havent noticed im basicly there i just need you know your the person making me unhappy now so just come back to me please! you know i will take you back and i will do anything you want me to do thats how much i love you i did all this for you!
J:No matter what happens....no matter where we end up in life...i'll always be here....to lift you up, fight your corner and catch you when you fall. I promise. I won't let you down.
I feel very alive It won't last.
When I talk to you I know this is real. You and me, always.
No matter what they throw at us
I promise.
I am not perfect and I don't claim to be. And if that's what you wanted, well I am so sorry... So mighty, so hegemonic, so hating, so desecrating, so there, so nowhere, so hurting, we fall between indifference, rejection...
~*forever_lost*~; my RYL cousin. Hells; my RYL niece. Katch; my RYL big sister. Voice Of Reason; my everything.
I'm not ready to jump with you. I still don't know if it's what I really want. Talking about it with you makes it real. I want it, but now it's happening it's all too real and I don't know if I can do it. But I'm also scared that you'll still jump even if I don't. I can't deal with that. I feel guilty even thinking about it, but I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks I'll end up jumping, just so you're not alone, and you don't leave me here alone.
Change the voices in your head,
Make them like you instead
I really love you, you know that right sweetheart? I really do. You make me smile. I really wanna text ya, but you're asleep, so i'll just tell you here. Sweet dreams xxx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
I tried to die to show you how much I loved you, but I think my love was too strong to just let you go, now I don't know why , but I still wanna die, and I know that if I said that around you you woulnd't love me, I could never let my guard down till I met you, you did change so much about me, you just can't see, now that you won't look at me, I know you'll never se how much I changed just for you.
I'm so ahamed of my feelings that i still have for you that I'm putting it so nobody can see it against the white background.
I still love you Jocelyn.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
you probably wont reply to my message
and thats cool
i just hope we still can be friends
even if it is like this
i mean im different now
you probably wouldnt recognize me
it it kinda werid to think all that was like so 8 years ago
anyhow moving on now
Don't be someone else's slogan because you are poetry.
Rigth now I have alot of things to say to you, I am scared of what happens once you find out the truth about me.
I self harm, I have wanted to tell you this for so long, but I am afraid that you wouldn't love me if you knew. You actually made me stop SI-ing for 2 months, that was when we were "going out", but I haven't seen you in a very long time, so I couldn't stop it anymore. I am really sorry.
I know that you think that I have a crush on you, and yeah, I used to think that too, but when I talked to you last nigth I felt that it was something more, and I think that I am starting to fall in love with you. And knowing that I'm falling for you kills me inside, because I know that I can't go into a relationship with you. I don't know if you know it, but I went to school with some of your friends, team mates from your soccer team. They used to bully me, and I am afraid they will say something to you... or that you will choose them infront of me... or I don't know, but I am afraid that it will affect the way you look at me.
The last I want to say to you is that I care so much about you, andyou have no idea how much I am thinking and how scared I am about the day they'll find out about you and me. I love you handsome.
My RYL family: PaperClip is my big sis
"Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore."
- The Dark Lord
i know i'm incredibly selfish, but you literally spent the whole night talking about her and i had nice news that made me happy, but i had to wait about an hour to say it, because literally, everytime i went to say something, you'd tell me to stop interupting. that kinda hurt.
