Life, please... no more - Page 61

crazykat · 05-05-2014, 01:59 AM

I hope it all works out for you. Thinking of you

Kahlia1981 · 13-05-2014, 01:43 PM

Very depressed, anxious and stressed right now. My shoulder surgery is supposed to occur in the morning but there's still a chance that I'll get bounced from the list. Not something I really want right now, especially after waiting for 2 1/2 years. But just one more night.... So scared that this is all going to go downhill. Mind you, I still won't believe that I will awake up in the position until I recover from the anaesthetic. Call that experience having the better of me.

Kahlia1981 · 13-05-2014, 02:02 PM

Before I forget, our honeymoon at Airlie Beach went extremely well. We walked along the lagoon and a couple of beaches, we drove to Conway National Park and completed a 4.2 km walk which was supposedly a "moderate" grade, but in some points definitely appeared to be more of a "high" grade. Still it was enjoyable and invigorating. We took photos of "Swamp Bay" - the middle point of our walk but were extremely unnerved by a large spider that was sitting in an empty beer bottle someone had left there. We're both strong arachnaphobics so that's not surprising - as is finding spiders in the rainforest - and it hastened our return journey. In truth we spent quite a bit of our time relaxing in our room. We did however have a (very unimpressive) dinner out the first night we were away and spent some time down in the pub area on our final night. The only "bad" point of the time away was the final night when there were a lot of drunk or high guys deciding to pick fights with each other. The other low point for me was being called a "fat ugly bitch" by a drunk guy who walked past our room.

On that subject, I weighed in this morning to find I had lost again since last week bringing my overall weight loss (since I started tracking a couple of months ago) to a much better figger than I had previously thought. I still have a long way to go but I've now reached my first two weight loss goals.... Now I just have to keep doing physical activity even though I can't do the exercises I really enjoy. For the next month I'll be starting walking twice a day, frequently altering my course so I don't get bored. Hopefully it will be enough to keep things going... Fingers are crossed.

Laura2.0 · 14-05-2014, 04:09 PM

it's good to hear that your honeymoon was great!
Maybe you can try to think about the great time you had there now?
How did the surgery go?
Hope things are ok for you and not too much pain.

Doikers · 14-05-2014, 08:43 PM

Love you Sis <3

Kahlia1981 · 17-05-2014, 09:56 AM

Well the surgery is over and I'm home but in excruciating pain. Already taken one trip to A&E but not convinced that will be my last. Right now I'd rather be dead. *sigh*

Laura2.0 · 17-05-2014, 02:21 PM

did they give you pain medication? maybe you could ask them to increase the dose or give you something stronger?

Kahlia1981 · 17-05-2014, 02:32 PM

Laura: They gave me a script when I was discharged and another when leaving hospital today but nothing covering the pain

Laura2.0 · 18-05-2014, 12:39 PM

maybe specifically ask for it? I dunno about how things are handled in Australia, but where I am people take pain meds until they are painfree without pain meds. They slowly decrease the dose as much as they can handle the pain or take more depending on the pain.
Maybe they thought that you already have pain meds at home, or I dunno why they wouldn't give you any.

Kahlia1981 · 19-05-2014, 08:02 AM

Laura: The scripts I was given were opiates for the pain (and the strongest they are legally allowed to give) but my pain level was too high for them to work effectively. The dose given by the ED doctor was much higher than normally given. In reality I should not have left the hospital until today but our local hospital is more interested in getting its patients in and out the door than ensuring they are pain free (or well for that matter).

Today I had a lovely visit from a nurse and nursing student from Extended Acute Care. They gave me a shower, helped me to dress, and cleaned and dressed my wounds. It was nice to finally have a shower since my last one was in hospital on Thursday.... and it felt darn good to be clean and wearing different clothes. Apparently the EAC nurses will return on Wednesday and Friday and it is they who will be in charge of removing my staples. Yay...

They are also arranging assistance with showering, cleaning, et cetera to take over once they have finished their scheduled visits. Hopefully we will get a call from them over the next couple of days to set up the follow on care. One other thing that I'm really hoping for is that we can organise times for their visits so that we can prepare for their visits but not be forced to wait at home all day because we don't know when they are arriving. Not that I can do that much at present but still...

And after this morning I know that attempting to open the coffee bottle is an extremely stupid and painful action. Lesson learned....

Laura2.0 · 19-05-2014, 07:20 PM

Ah ok, then I would go to another hospital the next time if I were you. Or refuse to leave before the you are supposed to leave. And if they want to force you to leave then you could try threatening them with a lawyer (if that's even possible).
It's a neat thing that they have the EAC though.

Kahlia1981 · 23-05-2014, 12:01 PM

Laura: We only have one public hospital in my town and the cost of having the surgery done privately is ... extremely prohibitive. A&E only exists in the public hospital. The next real hospital from here is either 5 hours north or 5 hours south. Everything in between (or as west as Charters Towers) all gets redirected here. The doctors had decided I was ready to leave on Thursday but allowed me one extra night due to the pain. They were not willing to make the same allowance twice particularly as that would have meant me being in over the weekend.

Laura2.0 · 26-05-2014, 05:16 PM

ah, ok. I understand now.
That's a huge area your hospital has to cover then. You must live in an area with not a lot of towns then.

Hope the pain is manageable now.

Kahlia1981 · 29-05-2014, 11:25 AM

Laura: Thanks. There's plenty of small towns in Queensland but there's also plenty of space. To go from here to the capital (Brisbane) is more than 1,000 miles - a trip I take quite frequently. Keeping that in mind, Cairns and Mackay are actually very close. Our hospital also deals with rural communities and towns, particularly with respect to emergencies. As far as I am aware we are the only city in north Queensland with a rescue chopper helipad at the hospital. And I have to say I still don't understand why they replaced a hospital that was too small to cope with the patient load with an even smaller hospital, or why they built it to be blizzard proof - mind you, if the hospital ever has to survive a blizzard I'm going to be extremely rich.....

We saw the wound management team at the hospital this morning and they removed my final staple. The nurses from AEC were able to remove all but one yesterday when they came to assist with hygiene and wound care, but that last one didn't want to come out. When they put that staple in it had buckled and was definitely the most painful to have removed. It's good to have them out though. Especially as the dressings were a very visual reminder of the surgery - and it's not like my "gunslinger" brace isn't reminder enough.

The temporary loss of my dominant arm has had an obvious effect so far, especially on my mood. There are many things I just cannot do and I've been getting frustrated at not being able to do simple things. Not being able to shower myself by myself, not being able to make a cup of coffee, open packets, cook.... The list keeps going. My second biggest frustration is not being able to exercise as I want to. I can't tie my own shoes so someone has to be awake and willing to assist and the pain has made even walking difficult. That is definitely not assisting with improving my mood. Nor is my current inability to sleep properly, at least partly caused by the position of the brace - both in terms of the way it holds my arm and the way it sits against my body.

Thankfully the kids (my alters) have been playing nicely and not coming out/through. I'm not quite sure what effect this has had on them to be honest. We asked them not to take over whilst I was in hospital and they were quite happy to honour our request. Some of the younger alters were terrified at the very idea of the surgery and I definitely cannot blame them for that. I think it will take some time for them to be comfortable on the outside again, especially given my arm being almost completely unable to be moved for at least another four weeks. Hopefully at that point I can start removing the brace, even just for short periods.

*sigh*

Laura2.0 · 31-05-2014, 04:46 PM

Hi,

I noticed that there is less switching when I'm ill or having pain somewhere in the body. I guess it is similar for you?
Sometimes I wished that someone else could take over for a while after I ruptured a ligament on my foot, because then I wouldn't have had to deal with the pain (before they diagnosed it). But none of the little ones came.
I don't think it effects them in a bad way if they understand that it is for their protecion. It will be fine.
I sent the kids away for the time being, because there were really bad memories coming back and I don't want them to have those memories.
You could try to visit them though and spend some time with them in the inside world?

Kahlia1981 · 05-06-2014, 02:38 PM

Well I received my offer through QTAC and have been accepted to begin studying at USQ in July. My offer was accepted about 20 minutes after it was released and now I'm just waiting for a "Welcome pack" from the university itself. At that point the fun will begin as I'll have to jump through the necessary hoops and get full required documentation for their disability services. Honestly not really looking forward to that part but I'm heading over to see if there are any scholarships I'm eligible for. I figure that, if some scholarships are suitable, more time would be available to prepare an appropriate application.

So the events of today are cause for celebration but, to be honest, I'm too tired and sore for a party. Meh.

Laura2.0 · 05-06-2014, 04:09 PM

Congratulations! That's awesome news.
Maybe celebrate in a few days when you feel like it? It's what I do sometimes.

Kahlia1981 · 12-06-2014, 08:42 AM

It has been brought to my attention today, by a censor, that I accidentally included numbers with regards to weight loss in a post on May 15th. My apologies to the person that I upset. My only issue is that the censors (who call themselves "moderators") reacted with an attitude similar to the KGB by aggressively editing the post without informing me or allowing me to alter it myself - especially as nobody can remember all of the rules all the time. Moderating would have meant getting in touch and asking me to alter the post. Censoring is altering the post without my prior knowledge, end of story. QED.

Leaving the BS aside...

My welcome pack from USQ arrived yesterday and I've already started preparing the things I need to get organised as well as enrolling in my subjects for semester two. There is still quite a lot that has to be done but at least we have started. One of the most difficult and involved parts is in setting up registration with the disability support unit. Talk about massive amounts of paperwork. I swear they need a forest's worth of paper.... the forms manage to completely cover even my computer desk. In the end it might be easier to give them my entire file.

Life with the brace still carries on - and I really can't wait to be able to remove it. The brace is damn heavy, I can't say how heavy it is because the censors will be upset, but suffice it to say it's extremely heavy for it's size. What really amazes me is how many "extra attachments" the brace has sprouted (or been given) since I first brought it home. My orthotics and prosthetics guy has attached several new bits to it in order to make it more comfortable to wear - "more comfortable" vs actually comfortable - and it's been bearable for the last four weeks. Hopefully only another two weeks in this darn contraption...........

Oops, I just realised I've used numbers in my post: 15 (as in May 15th), two (as in semester two and two weeks) and four (as in four weeks). I guess I wait now for the censors to decide to step in and make whatever revisions they desire.

Kahlia1981 · 20-06-2014, 12:30 PM

Today the depression and pain caused me to reach breaking point. I kept breaking down in tears and ended up taking alprazolam in order to try and get back in control. My mood just didn't let up and I ended up bursting into tears again then crashing out for a couple of hours. My husband kept trying to wake me up but decided to give me my night medications to allow me to sleep through. A nightmare woke me though and now I'm almost in tears again. So over this...

Laura2.0 · 20-06-2014, 06:49 PM

*hugs* if you want them.