Sorry it took so long, I don't feel this chapter's amazingly written or anything, I was feeling very very down when I wrote it =P
Just one of those..times, I guess.
Anyways :]
Chapter Six
I hadn’t really paid much attention to Tara as she showed me around the clinic, I was too busy watching all of the girls who watched me as I walked past them, eyeing up the new kid, a new sufferer in their midst. I paid even less attention to being weighed and having my health summed up by some professional who looked as if he knew me just by reading my notes. He doesn’t know you. He knows me. He knows all the good I’ve done for you and wants your progress shattered.
By the time I had stopped blanking myself out from the world, I was in the room I would be staying until I was ‘better’. Tara had left me to my own devices so I could unpack on my side of the room – away from the door – but a nurse who worked there, who had introduced herself as Keeley, watched me from the door. “Just in case,” she had said. Just in case you tried to outsmart them like I helped you outsmart everyone else. I unpacked all of my clothes and put them in the three drawers that were sat next to my bed. I took out the stuffed robot one of my friends had bought me three days prior to my recent hospitalisation as a Get Well Soon-type present and placed it carefully on my pillow and straightened out the blankets.
After I had taken everything out of my suitcases, including a picture of my best friend, Katie and me and put it on my bedside cabinet, I pushed them under my bed and quickly put my hand on my pocket to reassure myself the blade was still there, then glanced at Keeley who was still stood in the doorway, watching me. She smiled and I forced a smile back. I’d have to hide my blade properly later.
“The new girl is my roommate?” I heard an excitable voice from outside my new room and turned round to see Keeley look over her shoulder momentarily, then continue to watch me. Suddenly a girl around my age with short, blonde hair and perfect doll-like features bounded into the room, squealing with glee at the sight of a new resident. I smiled at her and she beamed back at me.
I straightened myself up and she danced over to me, wrapping me in a tight hug. “My name’s Naomi,” she told me, coming out of the hug, but still holding me by my shoulders. “I take it you’re Keira?” I nodded. I took a moment to look at her. She’s thinner than you. You’re not good enough. For such a tiny, skeletal frame, she possessed a lot of energy inside it.
“Naomi, let Keira unpack her things,” said Keeley from the doorway. Then, noticing I had already finished, said, “Oh. Well, shall I leave you girls to it then?”
“Yes,” Naomi said quickly. Once Keeley had left, she turned back to me. “So, Keira. I’m excited to know everything about you. There are no secrets in this room, we’re roommates now. I’ll start, I’m Naomi, I’m eighteen next Monday and I’ve been suffering from anorexia for about seven years. Now, you.”
I could feel her eyes boring into me as if she was trying to read my like a book. This book had been closed years ago, locked, with the key thrown away. I racked my brain to try and give her enough information to be satisfied with, but not enough that meant me knocking down my walls to let her in. After a few minutes, Naomi was still staring at me with a strong interest in this new playmate, just come in from the outside world.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t have an eating disorder,” I whispered.
Naomi leaned in closer towards me and whispered back, “I didn’t have one either when I first came here. My parents put me here because they couldn’t control me. They couldn’t deal with all of my problems. And all they wanted to do was take away my control.” She leant back again. “Same with you, correct?”
I nodded and she laughed. Her laugh reminded me of a young girl, as if mentally, Naomi had never mentally grown up. As well as physically hindering her progress to womanhood.
“Believe me.” She had stopped laughing. “Everyone in here thought that at one point too. But the staff here will help you realise that’s not true. And you do, in fact, need help. Otherwise you wouldn’t be…” she trailed off. I looked at her and saw her eyes were transfixed on my right arm. I glanced down and saw the sleeve of my jumper had come up ever so slightly, revealing a single, thick, purple scar on the inside of my wrist. I tried to grab at my sleeve, but Naomi got there first, pulling it up to show the bandage covering my stitching attempting to hold my arm together.
“Oh, my god,” she gasped. “You cut yourself too?”
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
