Sorry to steer the convo AWAY from your knickers temporarily (a fine topic, may I add) but in my experience, sometimes I go into chat and have a nice friendly conversation with a nice group of people (Like I am now)... But sometimes I go in their and I just feel... unwelcome. I don't make a big deal out of it and quietly leave, but sometimes even the general room feels very cliquey.
Maybe its because I'm primarily a forum member rather than a chat member... Because the forum members are usually very nice. But sometimes it just feels a little cold.
That isn't me having a go at the chat members! Not at all! Most of you are lovely people, I just thought I'd add my view. I have been a member of V3 for 2 years and have entered chat only half a dozen times... so maybe I can't give a broad view
And i know what you mean - i used to live in chat not so long ago but over recent weeks have backed off because of the unwelcome vibe even though i know most members, it's the whole "cliquey" feel, and the conversations are never general enough to join in with, it's all about private jokes and the like, so i get a bit lost.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Oh Liv, i'd totally love to come in and talk about cleaning..but sadly i have an appt at 4pm..
So sorry to dissapoint :P
Don't enjoy yourself too much without me ;) Mwhahah.
xx
People say "Say hey" when you enter chat, i've done this on numerous occasions and still been ignored in chat, and to be honest i'm getting tired of it. I'm struggling at the mo, so sometimes i go in chat to either distract myself or to feel less lonely, however i end up feeling more lonely. Maybe i'm just invisable. I once thought maybe my internet was playing up and it wasn't showing up tha ti was in chat. I don't think this was the case afterall. People say "Say hey" when you enter but it doesn't seem to work. people already have their group and don't give a **** about anyone else who enters chat as longa s they have their group of friends. Also when pepople are new chat can be daunting and intimidating at first. I think people should take a responsibalty to be more welcoming in chat. Stuff the whole "Say hey when you enter" at the end of the day they should be more welcoming in the first place! They have their friends, and others want to make friends. But they don't get much of a chance when they won't even be welcomed very warmly.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
hi matt,
One of the things you just have to do is take a risk and jump into the wild and crazy convos. Believe me it can get crazy. The regulars will start to know who you are after a bit of time.
-tom
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Ok, I'm gonna say this as someone who's been going to chat for 5 years and know pretty much everyone who comes in unless they're new.
UNLESS YOU KEEP TALKING TO PEOPLE YOU WILL NOT BE RECOGNISED.
It is as simple as that. Bitching about how people don't say hi back isn't going to solve ANYTHING. I don't get hellos all the time even when I enter a room full of people I've known for years. Why? Oh guess what, it's CHAT. People talk fast in chat and most of the time if there's a conversation going on they will not pay much attention to people randomly popping up to say hello and are likely to simply miss it.
No one in chat is deliberately trying to alienate anyone or make them feel unwelcome. Most of us don't just know eachother in chat, we've met eachother, we've been out together, the whole thing. So yes, we're a very established group but guess what, we get new additions all the time. I can think of countless examples of members who've wriggled their way into the chat niche and were accepted straight away. Panic Trials ^ is a good example.
So really you just keep going at it. Make yourself known. That's all there is to it. That's what every single regular had to do and that's what every single new member will have to do. The whole idea of "an established clique" in chat is never gonna go away so you either deal with it and try and get around it or just don't go to chat. We're really not the problem here.
I'm not bitching about people really, in reality i think you'll find it's actually peoples jobs who are alreayd in groups of friends to WELCOME people. I don't care what anyone else says it's just true. You're new at school for example, and you;re really shy...everyone has their group of friends. At the end of the day they don't know the people and therefore it is their job to try and make them feel welcome. There is no bitching about people not saying hi! People are talking about things in which new people can not even begin to join in as they are often personal convos and jokes they have amongst friends! Don't tell me that it's up to me. Sure it's up to me to join in but the point is people are not very welcoming in the first place therefore i become weary of chatting much. There are people here with all sorts of problems one of them problems often being self esteem issues.
There are people here with all sorts of problems one of them problems often being self esteem issues.
And I think here in often lies the problem, yes our new members have problems including self esteem issues, but so do our regular members, sometimes chat is moving so fast you may barely notice someone entering sometimes people may be so wrapped up in their own issues it may simply not occur to them to welcome someone in.
I don't think it is anyone's "job" to welcome anyone, they are under no obligation to do so and to be honest if people felt like they were ordered to welcome someone it probably wouldn't work for either party. It'd be a bit like being buddied up with the new kid at school but not wanting to be and resenting the new kid for that and ending up with forced overly polite conversation.
However obviously our community does function better when people are welcoming and friendly, but as others have stated this is a two way process. And sometimes people don't always get welcomed, regulars or not, in fact there's been a couple of occasions in the past few days where I've entered chat and no one has said anything to me and I probably spend more time in chat than is healthy!
Stick around, give it a few more tries and just see. If you are up for general chit-chat then evenings (UK time) are generally quite busy and lots of random conversations go on which I guess would probably be more easy to just chip-in to than more focused discussions. Chat can be a fantastic resource and it genuinely is a friendly place, however it is very informal, you aren't always going to get a "Hi, how are you" everytime you enter. But if you come in, say hi and ask everyone how their day has been, I reckon 9/10 times at least someone would respond to you.
TBH unless the room is pretty quiet (for example 2 people chatting) you will never get a good response with how are you. Most people are on the site because they feel crapy. When someone asks how are you feeling you either lie an say fine or you just say crap. But it can be hard to answer it. and suddenly having 10 people answer crap kinda deminshes the tone.
Stay a while and try and join in with the conversation. If you feel like you need support, I have seen members come in and say can i whisper someone, which often gets good results as long as the room are not too down at the time.
