Thanks ansty pants, amialone and Idontknow32, very helpful advice. I've been listening to psyched up music for most of the afternoon today as I had my last exam today. I have no more exams until I go to uni...IF I go to Uni...I feel like I failed biology and semi-failed physics.
I e-mailed the head of sixth form about the fact that I had voices and the Woman during two of my exams, which affected my performance, so she will write a letter to my examining board.
I am trying my best to keep going, and now that the stress of exams is removed, I can breathe.
Some of Marilyn Manson's songs are great, such as This Is The New Sh*t and Mobscene. I'll listen to Fight Song, I think I donwloaded it sometime ago...
Thanks for the hugs, much appreciated.
I e-mailed my school nurse all about this and she e-mailed my social worker about what I said.
I'm feeling quite apprehensive as I have 102 days of holiday coming up and I tend to go insane during holidays.
I haven't been taking my meds properly during my exams because they make me tired and dopey. I took one at lunchtime today (I take 5mg 3x daily) and I felt dead, so now I don't want to take them anymore and the people are telling me that I shouldn't take it either.
I love you all thanks xx
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
**hugs** You've got us to help in the holidays, we'll help you as much as we possibly can! Hopefully your social worker will be able to help you. Hopefully now you don't have the added pressure of exams you can concentrate on making this horrible horrible woman go away **hugs**
SM, don't forget there are the Supporters here at RYL, who you contact via email and/or Live Help. We'd be only too glad to give you some of the extra support that you need to get you safely through the next couple of months.
Cumbersome: Listening to Marilyn Manson gets me through some of the hard times. Why are you depressed as your status says?
Stellata: thanks, I will remember about live help should the situation arise.
Amialone: now that the exams are over, things are less stressful. Thanks.
I came home about 40 minutes ago and on the way back from Morden station, the Woman followed me the whole way home. She told me I have to get fitter for the civil war so I am going to do more exercise.
Thanks all. The HTT are coming tonight I think.
Just had an argument with my Mum.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
sorry this is such a late reply...
You are so strong, getting through your a levels and everything, I just sat mine too so I know how hard it is, and you had so much other stuff to contend with as well- so well done!.
I hope it goes ok with HTT - are things ok at home after arguing with your mum or is it a bit unsettled?
Take care
Sian xxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
The HTT rushed things yesterday which didn't help. I am beginning to give up on my mental health services. I think I might have to write that letter to my GP because I can see a relapse coming if I don't get enough help. I am at a vulnerable time atm.
Happydays, what a-levels did you take? Chenoa, Marilyn Manson is great. Sorry you have to go through this depression. HTT were crapp =(
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I think it's a good idea to write the letter to your GP and get the help you deserve - try and really stress that you can't deal with everything by yourself, they have to understand that.
When will you be getting the results of your A-levels? We've just had similar exams and it's definitely not a lot of fun if things aren't going too well otherwise.
I hope you're okay.
I will be getting my a-level results in mid August argh.
Me: *talks about voices*
Dr.: are you sure they aren't just your thoughts?
Me: I think I am perfectly capable of distinguising my thoughts from voices.
Dr.: are you sure they aren't your imagination?
Me: my imagination is poor and never that vivid. *sigh*
I think I will see my GP about this, but perhaps they have a point. Perhaps I need to be tougher and stop relying on the services.
I have my next appt on the 7th of July I think.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Hey I did Sociology, English Lit, IT and General studies AS which they made us take up. you?
I'm glad you told the doctor you are capable of knowing what is voices and what is your thoughts it sounds like it wasnt a very successful conversation.
You are tough!! you have come so far, and you deserve help and support.
How are you today?
Take care
xxx
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
I think I will see my GP about this, but perhaps they have a point. Perhaps I need to be tougher and stop relying on the services
There are some things it's good to be tough about, but I'm not sure whether this is one of them. I don't mean that in a harsh way at all, but this seems to have scared you so much from what you've posted on here, and potentially could put both yourself and others in danger if you were to give in to what this Woman is telling you to do. You have done amazingly well to keep up the strength to fight her and this, but the services are there to help you so you don't have to go through it alone. But you've always got us as well to help, whatever you decide to do. Sorry if what I've said seems harsh/blunt, I don't mean it to be xxxx
Hey I did Sociology, English Lit, IT and General studies AS which they made us take up. you?
I'm glad you told the doctor you are capable of knowing what is voices and what is your thoughts it sounds like it wasnt a very successful conversation.
You are tough!! you have come so far, and you deserve help and support.
How are you today?
Take care
xxx
General studies sucks. I never went to any of my general studies lessons and they never count it as an a-level at my school. I did mathematics, biology, chemistry and physics a-levels.
My doctor is useless.
I've stopped taking my meds. They disrupt my metabolism, make me sedated and destroy my mathematical abilites (I'm in the top 1,000 16-18 year olds in England so I need to keep my maths).
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
There are some things it's good to be tough about, but I'm not sure whether this is one of them. I don't mean that in a harsh way at all, but this seems to have scared you so much from what you've posted on here, and potentially could put both yourself and others in danger if you were to give in to what this Woman is telling you to do. You have done amazingly well to keep up the strength to fight her and this, but the services are there to help you so you don't have to go through it alone. But you've always got us as well to help, whatever you decide to do. Sorry if what I've said seems harsh/blunt, I don't mean it to be xxxx
No, you speak wise words. I don't think you're being harsh at all.
The Woman is still around but she is not such an annoying b*tch. She just "floats" in the background now.
I really like your avatar.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I can understand what you're going through with side effects. I think you need to weigh up the advantages and the disadvantage of your medication carefully; obviously they're there to help and subdue the voices and hallucinations. I had a period of not taking my medication for a couple of weeks and begun hearing voices wanting me to overdose so i've gone back on them.
Just depends whether you'd rather put up with the metabolic side effects and the exhaustion or put up with that nasty woman and the voices. Not an easy choice to make.
I can understand what you're going through with side effects. I think you need to weigh up the advantages and the disadvantage of your medication carefully; obviously they're there to help and subdue the voices and hallucinations. I had a period of not taking my medication for a couple of weeks and begun hearing voices wanting me to overdose so i've gone back on them.
Just depends whether you'd rather put up with the metabolic side effects and the exhaustion or put up with that nasty woman and the voices. Not an easy choice to make.
I am so determined this time, really I am. I don't need these meds. The voices and the hallucinations are still there (the paranoia is not so bad now though), but I have control over them. I can silence the Woman. I can tell the voices to come back at night and I can make them say neutral things to me.
Ever since I stopped them I have worked out a formula relating the area under a fractal to the polygon involved and the number of iterations to infinity among other things. It makes me feel alive.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Sorry I haven't been on for ages, my laptops broken so I'm using the shared computer so I can't spend any longer than 2/3 minutes at a time in case parents come along, but just to let you know I'm thinking of you **hugs** [The avatar is one of the ones from this forum!]
I'm ok really. Five and a half days without meds and I'm fine. I still hear voices and hallucinate, but they're being rather helpful as opposed to horrible.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
