Oh no, we are sorry to hear this :(. Especially since you were both really close for a lot of years. If you want to talk about what happened, feel free to email - think I’ll send you one anyway.
Is it okay if I email you about this? I don’t know how comfortable you are about me revealing which country coach human is in
Last edited by The Worst Witch : 09-08-2022 at 10:19 PM.
Just wanted to pop in because I wanted to tell Alison that I got your email but may not be able to reply until next week because overwhelmed. I didn't know if I should PM or reply just to say that.
Finally had a good thing occur hopefully. So feeling a little bit better. Trying to ignore the bad things for the moment.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
A woman just came up to me while I was sat on my own in costa and begged me for money. She wouldn’t go away as it was obvious I had money as there was food in front of me and juice. I reported it to the srore manager and she apologised and said she would keep an eye out but in future, how do I deal with people asking me for money if ‘no’ doesn’t work?
I put my big headphones on and move away. Like physically turn my back and go somewhere else. Not ideal if there’s nowhere else to sit/you’re mid meal though.
I used to be really really bad at just giving in, the same with chuggers, the number of direct debits I’ve had to cancel after walking down a busy high street… but yeah, literally ignore, leave if possible. I always feel really bad but I do what I can for charities/big issue etc, and this is too much.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I give people on the street my spare change sometimes, and I will occasionally buy someone a coffee if they look cold but being approached unexpectedly is too much, as you said. I have no objection while they sit and don’t bother anyone, its being approached that unnerves me.
Sometimes V or Claire will shout at them if its obvious I’m upset but they’re not always with me. I think I’m going to start making it a habit to bring my headphones everywhere, thats a good idea.
Also Lio, I don’t know if you’ll get away with this but I always tell them I’m too young as I look younger than I am. The other day, a chugger came up to me and said ‘you look friendly but I think you might be a bit young, are you under 25?’ And I said yes. This usually makes them leave me alone
Unsure what a chugger is as that does not sound like terminology we have here.
That's pretty bold and scary of someone to just come up to you when in a shop. I'm definitely surprised a store manager allowed it.
You could just say you paid with a card and don't carry cash. That's what I usually do. Or do you know sign? You could sign something to them and see if they get the hint? The other thing I do is I say I don't have any spare change, but if I get any once I finish I will give it to them, and ask where they will be. I find that works, and I will usually try to follow up once I'm finished with a bit if they are nice about it. Not if they are pushy.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Camden, a chugger is a person who works for a company whose job it is to get people to sign up to charities. I don’t know if its a thing in America, but here a lot of people stand in the high street of a town and try and engage passers by in conversation so they’ll set up a direct debit of usually less than £5 a month to whatever charity they’ve been hired by.
Yeah, I do look pretty young, so if I ever find myself involved in conversation with one I’ll give that a go! Thank you.
Camden’s idea of saying you don’t carry cash might work if you ever find yourself in that situation again, I hadn’t thought of that.
Camden, chugger is a slang word that’s a contraction of ‘charity mugger’ who do the job Ali described (but ‘mugging’ is used lightheartedly, they don’t actually try to mug people, they just won’t leave people alone!)
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I don’t actually carry cash, I use my card a lot of the time because I have a free bus pass so I never seem to need spare change. Thats a good idea, I never thought of that either!
Does anyone else have difficulty with reassuring people? I don’t know why, but I find this really difficult. Often, people have to tell me what they would find reassuring (like a cuddle etc), but I have a habit of being dismissive rather than helpful. For example, my girlfriend and I had an argument this evening about my cousins upcoming wedding. I won’t go into specific details, but she had a legitimate worry about something thats happened before around my family and I wasn’t very considerate or caring. I feel awful that I’ve upset her, but I just find this stuff really hard. I feel so alone with it sometimes, because she can reassure me with ease 99% of the time and I’m just crap at it. I guess I was wondering if this os an autism thing, or because I was brought up in a family that isn’t exactly kind to each other and its a learned behaviour from when I wasn’t reassured as a child/teenager.
unhelpful reply, but this does not sound at all like anything I know how to do or would do. or that my family would ever have done as a child. but i also don't really have any close irl relationships besides my dog. so i can't really comment on if it is an autism thing or not. sorry!
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Hello yes does anyone have any suggestions for fidgets or other little things we could get for our new office space? We are sharing with another human so it needs to be stuff we can keep to our own desk without being a distraction to them. But we need to try to find ways to make the space less awful and scary. We ordered a laptop stand and keyboard to take. And we left my dog a spare bed and set of bowls there.
But we need to start going there more (as in multiple days a week for hours at a time) and it is currently very horrible and overwhelming.
So we are open to suggestions and ideally things that are NOT super expensive would be preferable but we will spend some monies if we have to and can afford it. We have never had our own desk before or a shared space like this outside of home. So unsure where to start or what to be looking for.
Thank you if so <3
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I love my worry beads. They’re glass beads on a strong string and I find them really soothing. I take them with me everywhere, they’re nice to look at and feel and fidget with.
I don’t know if that’s something that would appeal to you. I like them because they look like a bracelet or necklace so people don’t question why I have them.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I have never heard of worry beads before! Do you have a link or jpg? I'm not worried as to what others think or how they look if it is something I like.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Camden, I wanted to post the article you sent me because it explains stuff better than I could and I think it could help other people in this thread. If posting links is allowed, would you have a problem with me posting it?
