Thanks Oly. I think I will. My mother is being really strict with me (can't close my door) cause of the harm which is making me unusually hostile. I know she wants me to be safe but i still feel hostile and irritated. And I feel less in control. Plus she's making me eat and watching (have been diagnosed with anorexia in the past) which makes everything worse.
I wish saying the Spies aren't real made them not real, or made me believe it.
I'm trying to use CBT but it's literally a constant battle both sides firing at once.
Last edited by rara avis : 19-07-2011 at 11:12 AM.
My mum was the same with me when I was younger and living with her. It isn't nice when parents do that, but she's doing it because she really doesn't want to see you destruct. Hugs.
I know it is hard to believe that the Spies aren't real (when I was in hospital not even my dad could convince me They aren't real). Sorry. Keep working with your psych, do not give up.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks Oly
I'm keeping a journal for whoever gets left with this curse/legacy if The Spies get to me. I have so much energy. Mother just gave me a PRN chlorpromazine.
Got a Marvel Tshirt, shoes, gloves and socks, I found a book, on a table in a store, anxd it's filled with messages. Took me 2 valium, a clonazepam and and a lorazepam. But I did it.
Be careful about combining so many benzos. Well done for going out. What are the messages?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
You're right Oly.
I've done nothing today except be plagued by voices or complete lack of emotion, motivation, anything. The voices are getting louder at the minute I'm going to go to bed.
I have found out I'm being readmitted early next week.
I've ordered a book shelf and boxes and stuff that is arriving tomorrow. If I can open the door to the could-be spy to sign.
Breathe slowly, deep breaths. When you get readmitted next week, tell the psych how serious things have been. There are other meds that you can go on and other therapies that you can try.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I dont know how you do it Oly, I want to smash my head in to make this stop.
I'm trying to breathe but the voices distract my concentration on inhaling and exhaling.
I'm being readmitted on Sunday afternoon.
The delivery people are coming in a half hour and the Voices are terrorizing me about it. I don't know if I can open the door
GO AWAY GIVE ME SOME PEACE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP TORTURING ME!!!
When I was in hospital I felt like you did, desperate and screaming for it to stop. But the voices are not as bad (They're still there though) and I think the voices know that I'm in charge now. I really think your current medication is not working. Have you had any medical investigations into this, just to rule out a physical cause? I hope the readmission will help. Perhaps you could write a note to your psych about all of what's been going on?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Can you try to count as you breath? Breath in counting slowly to three, then breath out counting slowly to three. I often have to try and draw a line with my finger in the air as I do it as well so that that is the only thing I am focusing on.
This helps me slow down my breathing and calm the panic in my head at the time. May be worth a try?
Am thinking of you, and wish there was more I could do to help. Sending safe hugs your way.
~Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Roiben gives good advice. What is the big thing that they want you to do?
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
It doesn't matter now, not yet. I can't say. I'm going into hospital in 6 hours, I don't have the time. I don't want to go to hospital. I want to stay home.
I don know whether I can do this much longer. If it doesn't improve in 7 or 11 (those are special/spiritual numbers to meweeks I'm going to have to end it.
Thanks for the hugs Roiben Hugs
Last edited by rara avis : 24-07-2011 at 01:31 AM.
I'm back in. I feel no different. I feel nothing. Apathy. I am chain smoking and drinking coke zero, apparently for over 2 hours.
I don't want to do anything.
The voices are incessant. I don't know how to do this.
