Jodie - it's not your fault! even if you were going out with someone but said no & they forced it it would still be rape.
Lots of love and hugs for you, be strong I know you can move past this. You are an amazing person and don't let anybody tell you/make you feel any different.
<3
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Some Things There Are No Words For, Only Shoulders To Lean On. Hands To Hold On To. And Hugs To Comfort You, As Best They Can.
Buttons - you make me proud.
MeaCulpa - It will never be your fault.
Everyone - Whatever you need to hear.
I want to die. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I know it would crush my friend A. And I don't want to remind her of her sisters attempted suicide, nor do I want to hurt my friends.
But I think, a little hurt when I die is better than the lot of hurt I would cause them in the future.
And it's not just *him*.
It's my 'grandfather' who touched me.
It's the woman who emotionally abused me.
It's the guy who beat me.
It's the 'friend' who destroyed me.
It's the fucking car that didn't do enough damage to me.
I have nothing. Literally nothing. No job. No house. No family. No love. I have my friends and I will only end up hurting then by living anyway.
I'm sorry I have nothing practical to offer, I just wanted to say that you deserve to live and deserve happiness and I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
You're not hurting anyone by being alive, you're a wonderful person who has so much to give to the world & her friends (and is completely oblivious of this)
These horrible things that have happened to you aren't in any way shape or form your fault and although I appreciate I can't stop you from thinking that they are or stop them hurting you I can tell you that you are BETTER than all of those people and can move forward with help & love & friendship.
Your friends love you very much!!!
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Some Things There Are No Words For, Only Shoulders To Lean On. Hands To Hold On To. And Hugs To Comfort You, As Best They Can.
Buttons - you make me proud.
MeaCulpa - It will never be your fault.
Everyone - Whatever you need to hear.
You're not hurting anyone by being alive, you're a wonderful person who has so much to give to the world & her friends (and is completely oblivious of this)
These horrible things that have happened to you aren't in any way shape or form your fault and although I appreciate I can't stop you from thinking that they are or stop them hurting you I can tell you that you are BETTER than all of those people and can move forward with help & love & friendship.
Your friends love you very much!!!
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What Kitty said.
I love you so much hon, really I do, and I know a lot of other people do to. I've had to practically beat my friends off with a stick to stop them mobbing you when you step off the train ;-p and I think Beth will actually kill me if I don't arrange for you two to meet at some point. Even the people who only know you through me love you to pieces, let alone your own friends etc.
If you died you'd be taking me, at least, with you. I can tell you that for sure.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I love you JodMum, you're so lovely, so many people would be destroyed if you killed yourself... no one could ever replace you, there's only one JodMum in this world & she's fucking fabulous. You do so much good, you haven't hurt me and I'm sure you haven't hurt others, we do have bad days but those who are good friends will stick through that shit for you.
*cuddles you*
Me & Wifey are always here for you, just BBM/Call/Text/PM/Message anytime...
So worried for you, but wanted to say you are so loved & cared for, you're a GOOD person & you're like this ball of sunshine, not some rainy thundering cloud.
You're not hurting anyone by being alive, you're a wonderful person who has so much to give to the world & her friends (and is completely oblivious of this)
These horrible things that have happened to you aren't in any way shape or form your fault and although I appreciate I can't stop you from thinking that they are or stop them hurting you I can tell you that you are BETTER than all of those people and can move forward with help & love & friendship.
Your friends love you very much!!!
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QFT
I love you Jodie...<3
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Sorry to bump this... and thank you for all your support <3
The past few days my flashbacks have been extremely bad... none of my techniques hev been working and cutting is the only thing to make them stop... and it's been going to far/A&E?all the crap.... I just... I don't know what to do.
I meet the CMHT on thursday, after my therapy appointment.... and the day before I have physio, and I don't know how I"ll be with people touching me.... And then next week I have a doctors appointment because I've been bleeding down there and it's not a period so now I"m scared he's given me something horrible.
I'm just so stressed and anxious and I'm cutting more and purging more and dropping more weight and I feel like everything I've even started to accomplish his fallen apart.
I told my therapist today I felt like something broken, and when it's broken and you've tried to fix it, you throw it away. I think I'm broken.
Hi hun Im so sorry things are so awful for you.How did your appointment go?Please pm anytime.Just wanted you to know that a lot of people care about you I dont know you well but from what I do know you are wonderful caring person who has been through a lot.Please know that you are worth more than this and you are not broken even if it feels that way.Sorry for the uselessness of this reply.Hugsxx
No, when something's broken you need to hold it tenderly and breathe warmth and care into it so that it slowly feels held even in it's brokeness. And maybe in time it will grow together at the breaks.
I'm sending some caring thoughts around via the North Circular. :)
I'm sending some caring thoughts around via the North Circular. :)
Damn traffic.
I don't know.... I just feel like a pot... that keeps breaking and being stuck back together, then breaking and being stuck back together... only with time the cracks become bigger and more difficult to put back.
How long can you keep repairing something for before you give up and get something new?
See the thing with that metaphor is that human beings aren't like objects. When our emotions/thoughts/feelings/mind set 'breaks' yes it is incredibly distressing and can do one heck of a lot of damage, but if you let yourself heal you come out stronger in the end, not weaker. You are such an amazingly strong person hon, just keep hanging on in there, things will get better.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
St Mary's Paddington - tried them?
I'm sure A and E could help - or are Walk In Centres open today?
I'd give NHS Direct a call to see what's available.
You're not disgusting. Something disgusting was done to you.
I didn't think of NHS direct. I will ring them now.
I tried ringing all the sexual health centres I could find on google and they're shut :(. Even rang The Havens rape crisis but they're shut/emergency forensic tests only.
