^if you see any threads that you feel are overly sexually graphic please PR them.If you disagree with a decision weve made,please bring it up with us,we wont bite...Im hoping it is your shyness rather than us coming across as unapprochable.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Ive got something to say really , and its been bugging me for a while.
The amount of people giving nasty/sarcastic, mainly sarcastic or just blunt and unnecessarily so replies has been huge recently. (In my opinion anyway.)
I find it especially when the OP doesnt seem to know many people around the site, the replies just dont seem warm. Im not saying its everybody, Im finding lots of people are still being lovely. I dont want to name any threads in particular but there was one recently where 3/4 replies were just downright rude.
Just a thought.
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
Neon Haze, i agree. But I cant think of how to change it really, except if people stop and think whether their sarcastic remark is really necessary, but hmm.
Although we can ask everyone to stop and think about their posts, we are dealing with a website almost exclusively populated by people with mental health problems of whatever kind. Someone might not be in a place to really think through their post.
We also have to remember that written text comes across differently to different people.
Although we can ask everyone to stop and think about their posts, we are dealing with a website almost exclusively populated by people with mental health problems of whatever kind. Someone might not be in a place to really think through their post.
We also have to remember that written text comes across differently to different people.
I agree with you there, Im sure Ive come across as blunt more than once, but certain posts, where its just obviously belittling the OP makes me extremely angry, such as (trying not to aim at any specific person or thread)
E.g "Dont you have more going on in your life than to worry about this?"
Those kind of responses make me so angry, and are the reason I barely ask for support , and Ive noticed others around saying that theyre unwilling to ask . It just makes me sad, that on a support site so many people are scared to ask for support because of the responses they'll get
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
Yes i agree some rules are unclear and need editing. I have also noticed replies that are quite rude and they annoy me. The best thing to do if you see these types of replies is to post report it.
Yes i agree some rules are unclear and need editing. I have also noticed replies that are quite rude and they annoy me. The best thing to do if you see these types of replies is to post report it.
Which rules? As for the rest, I agree. ;)
To be fair, though, when I'm feeling exasperated I'd like to write rude posts myself. It depends on the tone though - something that's been mentioned so many times before.
Yet, sometimes support is not called for, I think. When someone is thinking the end of the world has come because their goldfish has the hiccups - oh, you know what I mean, sometimes (to me at least) it feels it's on that level - then I think it's better to help the person put things in perspective. The above still applies though - it can be done in a non-offensive way.
Face your life
Its pain, its pleasure
Leave no path untaken
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I know that you are not allowed to mention the names of tools that are not well known but it does not say that in the rules which i think is confusing.
As ive said Ian....we have rewritten the rules to make it clearer,were just awaiting V4.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I agree with you there, Im sure Ive come across as blunt more than once, but certain posts, where its just obviously belittling the OP makes me extremely angry, such as (trying not to aim at any specific person or thread)
E.g "Dont you have more going on in your life than to worry about this?"
Those kind of responses make me so angry, and are the reason I barely ask for support , and Ive noticed others around saying that theyre unwilling to ask . It just makes me sad, that on a support site so many people are scared to ask for support because of the responses they'll get
Theres a thread thats a perfect example of this around..
People have different priorities and things that matter to them, so i dont think its fair to judge on what people should and shouldnt be getting upset over. Little things generally relate to the bigger picture?
And also, "little things" can also trigger underlying core beliefs or feelings, which is probably why they feel upset/whatever because it adds more "evidence" to their beliefs. So i think interpreting why the person is upset and what it actually means and how that can be helped, could be slightly more helpful than taking the piss/being sarcastic/etc. This might be wrong about this concept, but its what ive noticed about myself so maybe its similar to why other people "overreact".
Plus, when you have low mood anyways, everything seems like a massive deal and such and effort.
I agree. Sometimes posts can be a little insensitive. If it were me, i'd just ignore any sarcastic posts however I do believe that they can really affect other people.
I think that some sarcastic posts are quite easily misinterpreted. Someone might just be making a light joke, but because this is the internet and therfore impossible to assess the tone a voice of a person, then it is quite easy to be accussed of being mean or insensitive. I generally avoid posting sarcastic comments for this very reason.
Last edited by Hannah Montana : 12-03-2010 at 03:44 PM.
Reason: typo
Thought I'd add something new in here thats been annoying me.
The ED Support Board, has always been a bit cliquey (Imo and quite a few other members) but yknow, such is life blah blah blah, but recently there have been quite a few support threads have been made for people, and their getting bumped and bumped, and yet I've seen other peoples posts right down at the bottom of the board , their really struggling, yet their getting one reply.
Im not able to support in that board due to it deeply triggering me, and im NOT saying that the people who have support threads still shouldnt recieve support,
but when someone has a million and one replies, all saying the same thing, and another has just one, I find that unfair and if it were me, I would then be put off posting for support in there whatsoever.
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
^ I think that is the case, but it's also that these posters are keeping all of their support in that one thread rather than spreading it throughout a few. I try my best to go through, but not really being in the right place it can be hard. I think quite a few people are not feeling up to supporting just now.
I don't think the ED board is any more cliquey than any of the other boards or, perhaps more specifically, threads.
^ I think that is the case, but it's also that these posters are keeping all of their support in that one thread rather than spreading it throughout a few. I try my best to go through, but not really being in the right place it can be hard. I think quite a few people are not feeling up to supporting just now.
I don't think the ED board is any more cliquey than any of the other boards or, perhaps more specifically, threads.
Yeah, I think I've come across the wrong way in what I've said, I completely agree with the bit I've highlighted in bold, and obviously it is easier to support people you know , or in support threads to just say
"Thinking of you xx"
But it just makes me sad when I see someone struggling at the bottom of the board, with no replies or 1, and I myself am saying I cant support in the ED board because im in no right state for it, and wanted to point it out, because it may just be a cause of "Oh,whoops *Click reply*
Am I making sense?? Because Im not in my head =P
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
Yeah, I think I've come across the wrong way in what I've said, I completely agree with the bit I've highlighted in bold, and obviously it is easier to support people you know , or in support threads to just say
"Thinking of you xx"
But it just makes me sad when I see someone struggling at the bottom of the board, with no replies or 1, and I myself am saying I cant support in the ED board because im in no right state for it, and wanted to point it out, because it may just be a cause of "Oh,whoops *Click reply*
Am I making sense?? Because Im not in my head =P
Yeah, that makes sense. It can be hard, but even the more 'established' or well known posters get few replies on their threads. I think it's just a case of how many people are around at the time who is feeling up to it.
