That kind of thing sounds alright to me, although admittedly I've only used the board a few times.. Just something to explain what each thread is about would be useful across all of RYL I think.
I find them redundant in the self injury discussion forum, Serious, R&V and the ED forum. Given the names of the bloody forums. It's like.. you're on a website about self harm, you're looking at a board purely to discuss self harm, you're going to come across not very nice things to read. I also think these forums are FAR too censored as well. You can't disallow big parts of self harm talk on a forum about self harm.
Ugh.
Laura - I think that it' just easier to ban ANY mention of size because it's difficult to draw the line between acceptable sizes to mention and things that could be triggering.
Crumple (sorry I don't remember your name) - I think that the ED board needs threads describing the different kinds of triggers you might find there because depending on what is going on with my eating, I find that different things trigger me.
I wasn't meaning to be hypocritical about Serious and A&B.
What I mean is - in a forum called Serious Discussion, that has a warning in the forum description, you are likely to come across serious topics. So maybe "Graphic" and ones like that could be used there?
Whereas you'd likely need more specific labels in A&B. I was thinking along the lines of whether you can actually *be* triggered, and used the religious abuse triggers as an example, sorry.
But considering it's on RYL, and more than likely in a board full of people with eating disorders and low self-confidence/bad self-image.... one isn't going to think they have any self-worth..
I didn't think that we were allowed to mention dress sizes on the ED board though, so I don't see why you should be able to mention them elsewhere.. Dress sizes imply a certain weight and size, which can be triggering.. and then you have the issue of which dress sizes do you consider "overweight" so which are "okay" to mention? It is wrong to have one set of rules for one group of posters and another for the rest of the people.
but what if someone says they're size XX on that thread and someone else is considerablely larger size than that... won't they think something like "well if they are that size then how [insert negative word here] must I be?"
I'm not sure if that would happen... just asking
but i do agree dress sizes are better/safer/whatever than weights and BMIs and stuff
i'm not sure. i think if it was a comment like "i'm a size XX and i feel so fat/ugly/etc" then it would feel bad to other people. but if you're simply discussing buying clothes then i don't see how it would upset anyone (though if people do feel it'd trigger them, do say). it'd be completely unrelated to EDs/perception of the self and more to do with factual, everyday things. i'm not explaining well.
fair enough. I htink clothing sizes should be ok really then, just though I'd check as that was the only potential bad point I could think of (sorry for appalling grammer/explanation got a ehadache making concentration hard lol)
I mean clothing sizes are fairly set, it's not subjective in any way so i see no big issue
Quote:
sizes are different and sizes differe in each shop
that irritates me too... there should be some sort of standaditation or something lol
In that cotext could you not just say stuff like "I found this great website that does really nice plus-size clothes" or something? Sorry for maybe seeming picky, but as I said, I don't think it's right to have a selective ban on anything.
Maybe I didn't explain my point very well, but what range of sizes would you consider to be acceptable to discuss? I just don't think we should discourage the mention of some sizes but not others, is all I am saying. Although maybe it could just be a thread-wide thing, since I don't go in that thread anyway, it wouldn't affect me.
the problem would be, where do you determine when you get into 'eating disorder competetiveness'
if someone mentions that theyre a size 4 in one shop and 6 in another (for example) then that might trigger all the people with eating disorders who are a size 10.
but then the size 10 people might trigger people who are a size 14 who have the same disorder.
plus, a lot of people are natually very thin, should they not be allowed to post because of their size, even though its completely natural?
i just dont think you can say 'youre above x size, youre large so you can say how big you are', youre between ad x size and x size which is 'normal' so you can say how big you are' 'you.. no, youre below x size which means you cant post about it.. even if you dont have an eating disorder'.
i personally dont think clothes sizes should be banned at all, but then, i dont have an eating disorder, so i dont know how it would affect me if i did have that mind set.
i do however think that whatever rules apply, they need to be applied to both restrictive, and over eating disorders.
Exactly Charlie. Also can you imagine someone posted when they were a size 16 and were allowed to mention their size, but then once they lost weight through diet and exercise to a 14 mentioning their dress size was suddenly unacceptable!
And shadow-light you are right about what is normal and what is large, because it depends so much on your body frame and your height. For example I'm under 5ft and have a small frame and I start to look overweight around a size 12, whereas my sister is 7 inches taller than me and has quite broad shoulders, she's a 14 and doesn't look overweight in the slightest, just curvy and voluptuous.
I just don't think you can have a cut-off point because then you are making a judgement about a person based solely on their clothes size which is something I would think most people on any point of the eating disorder spectrum would agree is a negative thing. And without taking people's frames and height into consideration there is a broad range of sizes that would be healthy in one person and unhealthy in another.
When doing my own threads I do try to not use labels unless I feel like I have to for what ever reason it is.
When looking at others I don't look at the trigger warnings I look at the thread, if I feel like it's triggering me I tend to stop looking at it and do something differnt like going on to a different board or what ever, might go back to it a bit later when I'm not feeling triggered, but that's just how I do things.
Going onto the sizes of things, I don't see how someone saying "I bought a really nice [piece of clothing] in a size X and it looks really [good word] on me" triggering but like I said, that's me and I don't know what it's like for other people.
![[pretty on the inside]'s Avatar](image.php?s=94680948d0e5ae172782c545f4e32332&u=3305&dateline=1244111491)
