Do you like me?
You seem to.
You're always taking my stuff and coming to talk to me.
We have a laugh.
You seem you seem to be such an incredibly nice person.
You've never judged me like everyone else.
I feel bad that I hardly ever knew you existed until this term.
But now I just really want to get to know you and I've only got like 2 weeks.
I actually look forwards to Science with you.
Grrrr.
You so aren't my type.
At all.
But you're so nice!
Hah.
x
I am not perfect and I don't claim to be. And if that's what you wanted, well I am so sorry... So mighty, so hegemonic, so hating, so desecrating, so there, so nowhere, so hurting, we fall between indifference, rejection...
~*forever_lost*~; my RYL cousin. Hells; my RYL niece. Katch; my RYL big sister. Voice Of Reason; my everything.
Why don't you stay... I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely You can't give me what I need When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know - I don't have to live this way...
Losing you is killing me.
You are right I am drinking too much but I won't admit it to you.
I cut again. But I'm never going to tell you what you've done to me.
I can't go outside without shaking and panicing I wwill see you and her together. Which means I'm not going to work.
I'm losing my flat and my job and my local pub and my friends and she's gaining it all apart from my job.
Shes already got you.
This is killing me. I love you so much. The only time it doesn't hurt so bad is when I'm drunk. Or stoned - then I kinda find it all amusing. Its not though.
YOU HAVE BROKEN ME. Not just my heart but me. I'm not even a person anymore. Leaving me ruined me. I wish I could hate you for it. But I still love you so much.
I thought we were getting somewhere
I thought you'd changed
how wrong I was
I am not perfect and I don't claim to be. And if that's what you wanted, well I am so sorry... So mighty, so hegemonic, so hating, so desecrating, so there, so nowhere, so hurting, we fall between indifference, rejection...
~*forever_lost*~; my RYL cousin. Hells; my RYL niece. Katch; my RYL big sister. Voice Of Reason; my everything.
Please don't turn out to be really weird.
Or loserish.
Then again to be 17 and interested in ME you probably have to be.
I'm well scared of going out with you now!
Maybe I don't need you in my life as much as I thought. Maybe they're right. Maybe this is good. Maybe I can move on.
Or maybe I can't. Only time will tell.
I just want you to know that I will love you forever. But that doesn't mean I can't look. You no longer are mine, and in the same breath I am no longer just yours. I am slowly finding myself again.
You repulse me.
And at the same time attract me.
All I know is I can't spend any time with you anymore.
It drives me up the wall.
And I feel bad when I occasionally say something to Laura or Lucy.
Like about how you have druggie loser friends and are generally a ****.
Because you're their brother no matter what.
But I didn't even feel like I had a right to spend time with my friends last night.
You had Rach and Hana being all nice.
I just hid with Susie and Laura.
I just need you to go away for a bit.
You take the piss out of her its ridiculous. She lets you walk all over her. Why cant you pay her some respect? Im so angry with you, for the way you take everything for granted. Get over yourself, your not big and your not clever. They dont expect you to do as well as Dan, cause your not him, but you dont even make an effort. Why do you have to show of to your "mates"? It shouldnt be like that, they should respect you for who you are. Your such an idiot sometimes i dunno what to do? Just sort it out, cause tbh I love you and its starting to hurt. xxx
