I can't stand it. Thank you Libz. Thanks. I'm just having a horrible existence recently. Tonight I was chewed up and spit out by someone I love... Again. And I also just can't handle life. I just want to jump off a bridge. I won't. But I want off this pain train. Ouch. I'm so dry from crying.
Can talk about it if you want. I agree with myself with the horrible existence. With the love *HUGS* Dont know what to say cause I stopped that a long time ago. Stopped trying to love. Hopefully things will work out though. Nobody said you had to handle life. Most people cant handle life, they live it :P Being both silly and serious. Live it, not handle it. Dont know if you get what I mean. Glad you wont jump off a bridge. *takes mum24 off the pain train on ryl* Dont know what time it is where you are currently at, but maybe hit the hay early or try and take a nap? At least rest some. It can only help. Think about nothing or try and sort things out in your mind. Maybe write them out? You are hanging in there which is good. Tomorrow is a new day, if it isnt already tomorrow, hopefully things will go better,even just a tiny bit. Always here, usually if ya need something! That goes for any and everybody else as well. No matter what Im doing or going through.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I've wanted to kill myself for quite some time... I know this is an old post but I've tried 6 times since the begining of May to kill myself. Every time I get caught. Just once I'd like to end it, no interruptions. Its not like anyone cares anyway.
I think about suicide all the time. I don't feel at all valuable. I don't feel I will ever measure up to anything in life. As the years go by, I feel more and more hopeless about everything. Besides, my dad committed suicide in 2009 in our house. Worked for him, why not me?
Would be nice if I had a girlfriend or a friend to go to. Alas, I am friendless. It's been so long since I have even had a hug. I have nobody.
T.J, I'm sure you felt like complete and utter crap when your dad did that and you have to think that you don't want to make anyone else feel like that. Could your mum or other family members really cope with that trauma as well?
You can make friends on here, you will always have somebody to talk to.
I know it's easy to have tunnel vision and just feel like that's your only option but it's not. That applies to all of you.
You could call me a hypocrite because I attempted it again on the 4th but it didn't happen, obviously, and a strange clarity always comes with it.
The after affects are always complicated and there's no guarantee it'll actually work so you might as well just not bother trying and live :)
T.J....HUG. Wish I could give you a real one. Please don't commit suicide. That would be a real tragedy.
Pembe. :( I'm real glad you're still here. I wish I could have been more support. Please get better. Hug to you too.
As for me, I don't know how I made such a mess of my life. I'm such a loser. The most critical person in my life is also the one whose supposed to love me the most. He hates me. I'm a failure. But I'm trapped. I'm so trapped.
Mum24, you're not a loser. You helped me out, a complete stranger, when you didn't have to at all.
I'm sure he doesn't hate you at all. And even when life seems like it's a mess, we just have to build it back together. It's the bloody hardest thing but you can do it.
Hug.
It was pretty crappy what my dad did, and only eleven days before my 18th birthday and my arrival into adulthood. But I have moved on from that. I wasn't very close to my dad.
I have also had a cousin and a grandfather commit suicide.
Considering I don't feel loved or at all valuable, I don't see why everybody around me couldn't manage. I don't feel my mother cares about me, and the rest of my family is quite vocal of their dislike of me. I have had to block a lot of my family on facebook because of their harassment of me.
I've tried making friends on RYL and elsewhere online; it always ends badly. I am as much of a loser online as I am in person.
But what is the purpose of living like this? My life isn't of any value. I have nothing to lose. The possibility that I may one day be happy isn't really helpful to me now.
You may not feel loved or valued at all but that doesn't mean you aren't loved or valued.
I'm not sitting here spurting out some stuff about how you'll be happy one day and it's all gonna get better, all I can say is that there's always a different side and a different view to things.
It ultimately is up to you which side you choose.
Mum24... Youre not a loser! You wanna know who is a lose? Losers are losers. You my friend are a winner cause I say so. Therefore you cant be a loser :) Maybe go night night or take a nap? How are you feeling other than tired?
Mrs. Pan... Ugh... People say that a lot with almost everything and I would lke to chose that brighter side but I never can seem to. Too much uhh crap lets say that I dont ever feel I can be happy.
Shadowedsoul... Hang in there. Nothing to be sorry about. Call someone. Find distraction. Do something to keep yourself busy or write it all out and either give to someone or tear it up and throw it away or you can keep it. Try to get what you are feeling out, good way speaking.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
TJ you are Wayyyy more likely to commit suicide if a parent has committed suicide. Add a friend and family member on top of that. You are at risk. There's reasons for why you are feeling the way you are. I'm sorry things are so hard at this time. I really feel for you.
You are not a loser. Relationships are hard. People are difficult. It's not you.
Thanks guys for caring. I'm hearing you about rebuilding when life is crap. I'm just having a hard time not spending all my time in tears. Sigh
Libz, I know people always say "oh it'll be alright in the end" and "be positive" and all that and it annoys me too because it's obviously not that easy, just if some people wanna insist on feeling crap (which actually happens more often than I care for) then I'm not gonna sit there and beg 'em to stay alive or whatever.
We're all in the same boat and we respond as best as we can; I feel that someone answering in the first place proves that you're not alone and not uncared for. I would appreciate it anyway.
Synyster Silence
