Yeh, Romp, it's always this way... hating uni/being extremely stressed over it. It's worse this term though... don't know why. Probably the increased stress to get stuff done (i.e., portfolio, gotta have it done by this next week & I haven't started!!!!!!) as well as the fact that I'm taking 3 psych classes and need/want to get A's in all of them so I can keep the 4.0 in my major. :( It's really stressful and I know I oughtn't worry so much but I can't help it.
Feel shitty tonight, don't know how to get around it. Also don't know if I'm "allowed" to be feeling this way since I'm "not sick anymore." Normal people aren't allowed to be low/dysthymic/sad all the time, are they? That's not "normal."
:(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
3am, still up as usual. So I've been feeling kind of weird as my next door neighbour died the other day, I didn't know him at all and I don't know how to feel about it, I feel really bad for his wife who came round to see if my mum was in she was out so that was weird.
My weekend plans have just ended up doing work for my website (If only I got paid for it then I could call it a job). Also feeling shitty as my ex-gf decided to message me through twitter which just served as a reminder that she's off with some other guy whilst I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere still living with my parents at 20 years old doing nothing but playing video games all day. *sigh* so how about everyone else?
sorry cant do re4pies
was H's bday party tomnight
aso the gutys decide to ge thim blasted
he of course palys alpong
oh man
4 beers a month is a lot fo rhim
they lin4d up shooters, etc
fun
thankfully the 'big' guy (our buddy)( helped me get him to bed...cos i cant liuft H anymore)
so sacred hes gonna chioke in the night
pissed that they poured him those shots/drijnks
found out later they were doubling his mix so thats why so pissed so fast.
Now im left with him, wondering will he choke in the night?!
Oh
wow
what fun
scared to taske my night meds, in case he needs me
happy ****ing bday
aw Romp, that sounds rough. Did he enjoy his birthday? That's the most important thing. It's a bit immature of those friends to double his shots though...
This is probably a bit late but I'm sure he will be fine, just lay him on his side with a big glass of water next to the bed.
I am really low tonight and I don't know why. I can't seem to muster up the motivation to do anything, but can't stand the thought of just lying on my bed for hours. How miserable, meh.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Romp, I'm sorry that the party turned out badly. :( That sucks, I remember how much you were looking forward to it. How are you/he feeling now? *big hugs*
Ange, I'm sorry that you're feeling low too. :( Seems like everyone on the boards is doing poorly now... wish there were some way that I could help more than I can!! *cuddles*
I'm not doing all that well myself, have what feels like a TON of work to do & am running out of time to do it... have to have my portfolio ready by this week & don't even have a binder for it!! :-/ I'm really scared that I won't have it done on time & won't be able to get an extension... profs are pretty tough at this level of coursework. :( I feel so ****ing incompetant.
I need to go somewhere & hide for a long time... wish I could fastforward through this term!! :(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Heya, Sam. I'm doing ok-ish...realized I have been missing one med, forgetting to take it, so feel all wobbly, unreal atm.
How are you doing?
Thx Ange and April..it was a good party and it was fun, just worried thru the night..so I just stayed up till he woke up.
He doesnt remember quite a bit of the night...lol.
He remembered I had said (joke) he had to wear a party hat (had spongebob ones from D's bday)..so he says out of nowhere, that he WILL wear a hat, but only if he can pick it..silly,silly me...I said ok.
My new lime-green and white thong made quite a hat :P
He doesn't remember that either!
He had a lot of fun, so all good.
How is everyone doing?
Katie, Irene, Becci, Kerry, Alan...hope i havent missed anyone??
How are you all?
xx
Hi guys hope you are all doing ok at the moment
Romp - its good you realised you were missing the med, hopefully you will feel a bit better once you start it agan!
Im sorry this is a bit whingy but i tried to tell the acute care team how bad im feeling and they just dont seem to give me any solution except why dont i come into the hospital. i have two small kids so im not sure what im expected to do with them. But then i really feel like hurting myself badly. I said some angry stuff to the psychologist today so im not sure she will want to talk to me again. I cant sleep and they wont give me anything to help except something that doesnt work for me. Its so frustrating. Im not sure what to do. Tonight i am already highly anxious and feeling bad.
Romp, haha, that's funny about the thong-hat. :P And I am glad that you did have fun, although being so worried afterwards must've been awful. *hugs* How're you feeling now? did you manage to find/take/refill the med that you need(ed)?
Kerry, love, it's not a whinge. Do you have any close-by family members who would take the kids for a few days whilst you went into hospital? because that may be the best thing if possible... if you're that seriously ill then hospitalization is the best thing. Did you ask the acute care team about your kids, what you should do with them were you to go into the hospital? as I'm sure that you're not the only person in your area with the same problem. They may have better suggestions than I do, I don't know. But it's NOT a whinge. *cuddles* Things will be okay... you've just got to keep believing that & letting yourself feel your feelings without necessarily acting on them (unless they're good, healthy feelings). Sometimes we suppress how we truly feel about a situation until it's past, and then it's so hard to feel good about that situation later. Does that make any sense? I'm probably waffling & not making much sense at all. :(
So last night I came home (after dinner out with my husband, who knew & informed me of it) to ruined books etc. from a pipe bursting in our ceiling. I have no ****ing clue how that happened as it's a 3 story building & we live in an apartment on the first floor. It wasn't even that cold - in the 20'F range. So yeah... not a happy thing. Then last night, after we went to bed, part of the ceiling fell out!!! Hubby is now going to Walmart to pick up some stuff, including a huge cage for Daniel (our cat) so he can have his litterbox, food, & water in it whilst Jarrod cleans up the mess this morning, & then later when our landlord replaces all of the ceiling in the kitchen. AHH!!!!!!!! What a nice start to a week...
And now Daniel is meowing madly because he's locked in his (relatively large) carry-case. :( I feel bad for him but I don't want to let him out as the kitchen is a hazard area. :(
*hides from the world*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Hey April - thats terrible about the burst pipe and all the damage - hope they fix it super fast, would be very frustrating having to live around the mess! How are you doing?
i did talk to the acute team about it and all they said was that there were places to take the kids. But i dont want them looked after by strangers as anything could happen to them. I talked to my husband about it and he said he could take a few days off work but he may not have a job to go back to if he does. So im not sure what to do as i dont want to go into hospital and then be worrying about the kids. they are calling me tomorrow to see how things are. Sometimes im fine, other times i have major flashbacks etc and constant suicidal thoughts...so im not sure what to do...
*hugs Kerry* I'm sorry that there doesn't seem to be an obvious solution... I'm glad that you're doing okay sometimes at least... that's good. It's the other times that I'm worried about. Wish I could help more than I can!! :( Is there anything that I can do?
I'm alright. Feeling bad for Daniel (cat) as he's locked up in the largest cage that Jarrod could find at Walmart. He's meowing piteously still & it's going to get old fast!! lol. Other than that... just ate, want to purge, what's new with that, heh. Have uni today - health psych & advanced counseling techniques - blah. Don't want to go to either of them. Need to do an assignment for advanced counseling that I haven't done yet... urgh. At least it's not due until 2:30pm, and I don't have classes until 1pm.
We're taking my car in to be fixed today - it's been "out of order" since my classes started... so yeah. :( Not good. The EPC light came on - it's a VW Jetta - so yeh, not good. Gggargh... hopefully it won't cost too much. My dad speaks for this place, it's supposedly very good & close-by too. *sigh*
Cat still meowing... feel bad for him. :(
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Romp ~ I am fine thanks :) ou had me laughing with the thong hee hee
April @ sorry to hear about eh pipes, how awful! Hope your car is easily
fixed and I hope uni went okxx
Kerry ~ You dont whinge hun. Its a difficult situation. If you go and you will be worried about your kiddies or your husbands job, it wont do you much good but if you dont I hate to think of you doing anything to yourslef. I wish I could help mpre
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
How is everyone today/night?
Hope you manage to get your work done April. Also hope they fix the place soon. that would be dreadful! That happened in one apartment we lived in; the roof blew off in a storm and we had the rain filling up the glass globes of the lights.
Kerry, is your husband certain that he will be fired? Not sure where he works, but it isnt like he is taking time of for the hell of it! this is important. Is there HR worker connected (or at) his workplace?
I don't believe they can fire for this.
I think too, IP might be a good thing, as you dont sound like you are sure you can keep safe.
Not much here...let dogs/cats out a bit ago and all of them run to the one big tree...our squirrels have returned!!
He was telling them all off, it sounded like!
Was worried it might be raccoon..they are huge! And so damn vicious.
Hello everyone... so effing tired here, just want to go to bed. Jarrod's readying the bathtub for showers, as he had all the dishes that got soaked with dirty water (and rat turds :P) in there in VERY hot water & dish soap & I don't know what else for quite some time. It smells like PineSol in here which makes my stomach a little blech, but I'll cope. I mean, it REALLY smells like it. He used a whole 20oz bottle of it & we bought more tonight. O.o
Saw my best friend at Walmart whilst we were there getting supper & shopping, which was nice... we're getting together for lunch tomorrow before my health psych lab. Woohoo. :) That ought to be fun. She's a lovely girl & I love her to pieces.
Sorry no replies at the mo, am very distracted & exhausted so that probably wouldn't be the brightest, may say something & have it come off sounding wrong. Take care all of you & I will post back later, either later tonight or tomorrow morning sometime. ♥
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
April, when I was 14 we had a burst pipe in our loft. It came down all through the ceiling mainly on the landing and onto my parents' bed. We had to have all the lighting re-wired. And of course my parents had to get a new bed. Had smelly de-dehumidifier on and all the carpets [wool...] treated. Was really disruptive, so I can empathise.
I'm doing ok. So much better than last week/weekend. Still a bit fragile though, so am taking things easy. Thankful for annual leave from work much of this week.
*hugs Katie* Yeh, it definitely isn't very pleasant!! At least it was tile floor under where the pipe burst, and none of the tiles (as far as we can tell) have loosened, so at least maybe a good job was done on that? dunno... in any case, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be - thankfully!! I was afraid that it exploded through a wall or something, instead of simply cascading water through the ceiling... which is bad enough as is. Anyway... I'm glad that you are doing so much better than a bit ago - what's changed? And yes, do take care of yourself when you feel fragile... nice to have leave from work, I bet; wish that spring break were here now for me!! :)
Romp, sorry I didn't reply to you last night. I managed to get a lot of work done yesterday, surprisingly, but I have a tonnn to do today before, well, 2:30pm. Heh. I have a senior sem paper proposal to do, have to finish a book before 6pm, and have to write up an answer to a question about said book before 6pm as well. Meaning, I have to have it all done before I go into campus, because I don't work well on campus unless it's reading. I get soo distracted on the computer, heh. *palm face* Anyway - how are you? what's been happening in your life since the party? *hugs*
I'm so tired, per usual. Can't seem to ever be fully awake, and my therapist noted that with the Depakote, I look like I'm stoned - eyes not opened fully constitutes that, I guess? as my eyes just WON'T open fully. It's kind of frustrating, heh. :-X
*hugs for everyone* ♥
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Sorry you are feeling so fragile right now, Katie. I hope you can manage to be gentle with yourself and take it easy. Good thing you have a break.
Any plans for it?
Sounds like a pile to do, April. But you always seem to get it finished. Hope lunch was fun. Glad the damage wasnt too bad. Does she think it is a SE that will go in time? Has it been helpful for you? Or is it too early to tell?
Looking forward to tom. I do know that she often works very late. She is calling tonight to arrange picking me up, so I'll see how long she needs me, etc.
I'm ill again. A head cold this time... better than a stomach bug, that's for sure!! but I hate being sick. :( Especially since I have to focus in uni & I'm having such a difficult time focusing. I don't know... I hate being like this. Jarrod (hubby) got sick first & then kindly gave it to me...
*sigh*
Romp, I'm not sure if she thinks that it's a SE that will pass in time... :-/ I don't WANT to look like I'm stoned, heh, since I've never used drugs & don't want people thinking that I do. But she's pretty perceptive & notices things that most other people wouldn't. I don't know if the Depakote's helping yet... I feel kind of dysthymic actually, haven't been high... but usually it's a low to lower to lowest kind of mood swing... am never really that high except for a little bit. I don't know. :( Does that make sense?
I'm drinking a peppermint mocha at the mo... trying to wake up some. Slept in until 7.20am, but ought to have gotten up at 6. Oh well. I guess I needed the sleep, especially as I got to bed about an hour later than usual last night due to my night class. :-X Oh, about the night class... it's Women & Spirituality, & in it last night the profs (team-teaching it) had each student stand up & say what creative thing they're going to work on in the next year. :-/ I was stupid & told the whole class - the WHOLE ****ING CLASS - that I'm bipolar, struggle with anxiety & PTSD, "among other things," and am going to be working on finding ways to cope when I have no one else around. I felt so damn vulnerable after that... I can't believe that I said it, I was going to say something like writing poetry more frequently, or journalling every day... I don't know. I feel so dumb now.
*hides*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Hi April, sorry to hear you are poorly *hugs*
You arent dumb at all for saying that! you were very brave and honest. And what you are doing is much more creative than poetry or likewise, its life skills and you should be proud of yourself. I cant imagine anyone thought any differently of you apart from admiring you more
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
:P) in there in VERY hot water & dish soap & I don't know what else for quite some time. It smells like PineSol in here which makes my stomach a little blech, but I'll cope. I mean, it REALLY smells like it. He used a whole 20oz bottle of it & we bought more tonight. O.o
