Death may be scary but unless you are terminally ill and know it's coming soon why would a young woman be afraid/think about it, unless she was planning to die? It's not a typical thing to think of your own mortality constantly unless there is something behind it.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hopefully instead of convincing yourself that you're going to die, you'll be able to use that fear to do things to make life seem more worthwhile.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Have you never been suicidal and scared of dying at the same time?
No. But we are all different. When I've been suicidal any fears of death and dying go out the window and I hope that whatever I do to myself will work.
BUT, as said above if you do feel like that, that is a good thing and perhaps you can use the fear to keep you safe and draw positives from how you are feeling.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Just struggling a bit. Nothing major just feeling stressed and don't want to slip. It's my birthday tomorrow and I generally hate birthdays, they're triggering and stressful. I'm hoping I'll have a nice day anyway. Made it a week without self harm or attempts which is something I guess. Just worried.
I was first suicidal on my birthday. Planned on killing myself on my 17th (how incredible emo) and now I'm turning 25 and don't feel like much has changed. I want to get better I just don't know how. How do you recover from flashbacks and dissociation and mood difficulties and the like? For a long time I've seen recovery and simple stopping self harming but I know that if I did that I'd be left with feeling shit and having no coping mechanisms.
Sorry that was a bit of a rant!
Yeah I'm going to try and keep it low key. I'm staying with my mum which should take some of the pressure off.
Even though you feel nothing has changed, I'm sure things have. I'm sure you have grown up over those years. And fought the urges harder. Theres proof in you doing that this week and I know that must have been hard for you.
Stopping cutting is a big deal, but you do need to develop other coping strategies to replace it.
Have you ever done DBT? That is helpful in helping you build up coping strategies.
Have you ever done a WRAP? That could also be helpful in managing a crisis, and what things you may do to cope safely.
I'm glad you are going to keep it low-key. Try and remember its just one day and it will be over in 24 hours. I believe you can get through it safely.
Perhaps you could go out for the day shopping or something to keep yourself occupied.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Hey I also understand birthdays being triggers - I planned to kill myself on my 30th but got sectioned, lol, so that idea was out the window. My reason was similar to yours. Birthdays have always been the date to ''do something'' to myself.
I hope you have a nice day and go incident free - just think how good you will feel about yourself if you manage that x
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Yeah I should look up dbt skills. My team decided individual therapy would be better for me so I'm doing that instead of the group work. And heard of the wrap plan but never done it.
Tomorrow I'm doing a horse riding lesson in the morning and going for dinner with my family in the evening. So I've got some stuff planned, won't have too much time to myself to get depressed or anything. It'll probably hit me after no doubt.
It all went fabulously apart from my sister randomly crying at dinner and my little brother being manic and my room being so messy I have to drunk tidy it before I hit the floor (which means chucking everything on the floor WHAT A FABULIS IDEA). But my best friend is awesome and I'm sti alive so no complaints!
