If you really can't handle the constant conversation, perhaps listen to some external music? Put some headphones on? That helps for us sometimes.
It's a step forward that you know what inside looks like. Knowledge can be power.
What were they saying about the seroquel? (We are on that too, though at the moment it is doing sweet f*ck all).
Depersonalization is hard to manage too, like i said in the above post to bobbiwib, the mindfulness and grounding can really help with that.
Have you had any advances on communication with Deux or the Core? Have you tried to journal with them? Even just talking to them inside or even out loud to see if they respond?
Hope you are alright and taking care of yourselves.
lostboys
We are not so good we have been triggered a few times today RA things
the systems are a mess.
switching a lot ,flashbacks , REI hearing voices , littles are so scared .
The protectors are trying to calm everyone down Gates and the other Co hosts are helping with that but some are triggered themselves .
We picked up our new bed and clothes dryer today and dropped them at our new place. It looks awesome, we're really happy with it.
Really really excited too.
Psychologically we're not doing too well. Falling to pieces.... holding ourselves together with race tape. Someone we used to know said 'you can fix everything with race tape'
We're barely holding ourself together.... but we're still fighting....
dont know... thank you.
cant think properly
does feel real cos we havent slept since it happened
when we wake up, then it will be the 'next day' i dont want it to be the next day
I'm being a bit sneaky here.. but some of you might like to take a peek at the linky in my sig. It's for folks who're split and such inside, but aren't diagnosed with DID.
Me? I'm facing huge splits and bridging big pain. I haven't fallen apart, which is good.
Back in the house where ... 'things' happened. Feeling very far away from everything, numb and cold. Went awa yfor a while earlier, don't want to be here but hte littles can't be let out. THings will be bad if anyone comes out here.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
the others wont come out why wont htey come out? i was trying to be patient but none of them are there.. i cant be me right now i just cant
does anyone have any idea to test whether or not theyre there? cos when they used to go i used to feel empty, but now im not feeling anything at all so i just cant tell
:D, Really good to see you around :D:D!
Sorry to hear things are rough - we are around if you'd like to talk or vent.
Hope things get easier, and congratulations on keeping your head above water
*waves to little one and katrina*(sorry if we forgot someone - *more waves* incase
divine5wilderness,
It's unlikely it will stop, perhaps just working on controlling it better?
How is your system cooperation at the moment?
If you can start sorting that some more, even just beginning and practicing, you can work on it more while at school...
We find if certain parts have memories or feelings they want to share they can make themselves be noticed, so it can be really important to give them an outlet for these things.
Also, if a part wants to do something (we have parts who love music - we have a drum kit and guitar) and they want to do it but haven't been given the 'body time' they get annoyed and restless.... Are there things parts inside want to do?
Scath, Sounds hard, we know what it's like returning to places where bad things happened, we're sorry you are in that situation at the moment.
Are you there for long?
Hope it goes all right, let us know how things go.
Bobbiwib, There are a lot of possible reasons to why they won't come out. Only you and your system will know.
One possibility is as simple as they don't want to.
Otherwise, they could be upset/triggered.... Dealing with an internal conflict, or just content with things being quiet and insular...
We have all sorts of different experiences in relation to the absence of alters, whether it's partial; just can't sense one or two alters, or a group, or even a sub-system or the entire system.
Sometimes it is just quiet, and we can't be sure whether not much is happening inside, or they "aren't around". (When we say that we don't mean permanently) other times whoever is left out can feel empty, or lost. Looking inside it can be black, or just the same as usual; just with no one around.
If you can; look inside, call them out loud or inside, will them to come out..?
Try to stay calm, do the distress tolerance/mindfulness stuff, that can really help.... we say it a lot but it really can...
We're here just for a night, got a flight to catch in the morning, but being in the room.. and being yelled at (for other stuff).. everyone inside is on edge, feeling not connected to the world, but floaty and scared and small like everyone could hurt us and we'd be powerless to stop it.
bobbiwib, i just go look round inside if i can't hear anyone while i'm out.. screw the body, someone will step in to look after it and then you'll find a headmate to talk to.
Last edited by ghosts in the machine : 16-07-2010 at 07:58 PM.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
i don't know that i have parts and whatnot. i just dissociate. not really sure why. kind of a depersonalization thing. i try to ground but it doesn't really work.
Most of us are doing ok apart from REI she really is in a bad way at the moment we are unsure weather to phone the emergency psych team about her seeing things as it getting a lot worse and she very unstable
thank you lostboys and scath.. how can I go look round? I dont know if it works like that for me, but that sounds amazing. I dont even have any real memories of what its like back there, just water and dark and floating.. lottie is back now. i realised that the reason she went is because when *something bad* happened to us the other day, she was there for part of it i always try to keep her and Jude-Max away from *the bad stuff*.. Jude-Max is the only part of us left who hasnt had *the bad stuff*.. he's the only pure part left
AtomicsAsylum.. is that Serenity? :) maybe keep an eye on her? is there anything you can do to calm her down? :) or - this sounds horrible - put her to sleep? i've learned a way to deal with Jude-Max, who's a pain in the arse at night.. if I bring him forward and then push him back before he's quite here, once i've done that a couple of times he just seems to go to sleep and doesnt mind. it doesnt work on any of the others though, so i dont know if its just because he's so little
I'm not sure if I should come in here... I've resently been told that I disassociate... but as far as I know I don't have "parts" as such... I just loose time, or loose connection with my body go into sort of suto-pilot... or sort of become unsure of who I am or what I'm doing...
my GP said this was a form of disososiation.... but i don't really know anything about it... all I know is that it scares me...
