I've had 4 zopiclones, no sleep, been halluncinating, yelled at a few doctors and tried to leave a few times (because there's was a man in the corner trying to kill me) had an revolutionary chat with a consultant who is lead in the team, and says he can set up something with a&e. I'm shaking. Agreed to see alps. Barely had fluids overnight anyway. I'm exhausted.my skin is hurting so much I can barely move, with painkillers, and my chest is killing from where they did CPR!
I said that they were hallucinations because I thought that's how you lot might understand it. I suppose there is are difference between... I can't think straight. Damn what was I going to say? I think that they are real even if u don't. Even if u don't believe I believe they are real I still do.
I'm exhausted. I doubt this made much sense. I haven't slept in two days. Either way it was scary.
BUT met the clinic manager and he said that he could set up a meeting with a&e and the passing out! Going to pass the details onto cc!
I have problems with seeing something scary and at the time it is real to me if not to others but in the moment its very real so I can relate. You threw me off with calling it hallucinations when it was happening to you because I guess thats what I get but I could never call it that in the moment.
Good they're sorting something out with a&e for you
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I assume the nurses gave you 4 x Zopiclone. It sounds like it would have been quite a high dose, either 15mg or 30mg. Perhaps it was Zopiclone that caused the hallucinations.
Things appear to have been very serious medically I am surprised they haven't kept you in hospital longer to do investigations. Also, as the overdose was so serious I expect psych./crisis team will have to see you and may suggest inpatient.
When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do?
I have. They said nothing apart from I'm safe and walked out :/ guess they are medical staff what could they say to a crazy girl?
I think you have more of a grip on reality than you think you do.
I mean, this post suggests you know it's not real or part of a medical issue (calling yourself crazy and saying medical staff don't know what to say)
would psych know what to say you think?
Also, zopiclone can make things go a bit weird.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I really can't think straight. Physical pain from eczema is making it hard to move. Been cleared by psych on way to dermatology gp appointment now. Asking for a dermo admission. Thanks the the replies.
I thought I had just fainted. Nothing is clear right now cos I don't remember much. I don't remember yesterday at all. But all the signs point to an od. I think I've been trying to not do it for a while and guess I couldn't hold out anymore. Been hysterically crying at my mum because I'm so sorry for putting her and everyone else through this. The doc said I risked brain damage had I not been in hospital when I stopped breathing and my boyfriend and friend were there when it actually happened. My mums been crying. I think of my little sister and little brother and best friend who is grateful I'm still alive.
For once I regret my actions and know I want to live. I want to fight this. I want to go through the pain.
Doc was not harsh but clear. "This is as serious as it gets" he said. It's time for me to take this seriously and fight for my life. I think things are probably going to get worse especially with flashbacks before they get better but it has to be better than this.
My skin is so so so bad. Can't see dermatologist cos they are based at another hospital but I've got a gp appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get through seeing psych quickly, make it to the appointment and get an admission that way. So I've got more hospitals ahead of me which sucks a bit but if I could get my skin under control it would help.
Thanks for reading x
Katie, it sounds like this overdose was extremely serious and the fact that the Doctors wanted you in intensive care shows this. Are you sure you're safe to go home? I am quite surprised that psych. have simply allowed you to leave. It sounds like you might need some support right now.
Am I right in thinking you're in supported housing? Do they have any rules surrounding DSH? I know some places aren't particularly tolerant of it. As this incident was so serious I would have thought they might be worried in case it happened again.
x
When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do?
I'm a little surprised to but the main reeason is that right now my eczema overrides my mental health. It's so serious I can walk or eat properly. I'm in severe pain, have a severe infection, it's very badly flared everywhere. So I can't be in a psych ward if I'm on a dermatology ward. There might be scope for that after depending how badly I'm coping after dermatology as it normally makes my mental health much worse. It's really catch 22. Bit of a sucky situation to be honest. I'm completely overwhelmed with my skin, my physic and emotional health and recent events.
I'm actually slightly mortified at my behaviour tonight. It's been awful. Urges to die are seemingly uncontrollable which has resulted in me being 136'd twice (yes that's right twice in one night MORTIFIED) I'm now in the suite for the second time, I've been up all night, everybody is, quite understandably, completely sick of me. Cops are leaving now and I'm not going to get seen until 9am at the earliest. No idea what's going to happen. I also walked out of Brigid like a classic bpd brat (although I was out of my mind hysterical at the time, it's all guys there at the minute and I've been struggling with it) and now I'm embarrassed and ashamed to go back. But obviously I'll have to at some point.
