My mother didn't know about my sh until maybe two days ago when she dragged me to the beach (I live in Cali, it happens..) and wouldn't let me sit in the shade in a sweater and pants. She noticed me trying to keep myself turned away from her so she wouldn't see, and she goes "Come here, look at me." There are some /really/ awful scars on my thighs, so of course those are the first she noticed. "Oh my God, did the CAT do that?!"
...yes, mother. The perfect cross-hatch pattern of still-red scars on my leg was the fault of my de-clawed kitten.
So I have to tell her, you know, 'I self-harm, blahblahblah' and she goes "so... you're a cutter?!" "...Okay yeah" "Oh my god WHY?! Doesn't that HURT?! Besides, think about your future! You're already single, what boy will find you attractive covered in those horrendous scars?! All of you idiot teenagers with no foresight. You'll have to deal with this for the rest of your LIFE, you know! And ugh, for god's sake, put your clothes back on. People will stare. What a waste of money I spent on that bikini."
I just kinda sat there for a minute like "...um, thanks?"
xoxo
"Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there. I did not die."
I might have already posted this but it's been running through my head on repeat at the moment:
"oh, your scars are nothing babe, you wana see these other girls I teach, they are covered in scars, really deep too"
Thanks
And my boyfriend is really annoying about self harm. He does try, I can see that, but he always says the wrong thing or does the wrong thing. At the moment he is suffering from anxiety and keeps telling me he needs me to help him - oh, like you've helped me when I want to self harm - nope you just say im pathetic and I don't need to do it and so on. Hes also doing my head in lately saying he wants to swap and he would have my self harm and id have his anxiety. Which is annoying coz it's basically sayin he thinks he feels worse than me. I've been self harming for ten years, he has had anxiety for three months.
Location: third star from the right and straight on until morning
I am currently:
i think one of the most annoying things related to this that im pretty lucky in reagrds to my scars they arent the more obvious ones which makes people forget how bad they are/were
i caught the sun on my arms really badly last year and my scars stood out really badly which was drawn to my attention by my mother shouting at the top of her voice " omgomgomgomg are they new? you said you stopped doing this cover your arms now before the kids see i cant believe you would do this... what the hell!!!" drawing almost every eye towards me where we were.... next day she went out and brought me a long sleeve tops that irnoicly turned out to be too small " wear this so no one asks questions" atall other times she freaks when i wear long sleeved tops :S
i was more bothered by the fact that i had sun burn on one arm and not the other then that my scars were showing ... :S looked like a lobster for weeks after lol
Nurse in a&e in a condescending tone: "God, look at the mess you've made of your arm!"
Me (sarcastically): "Yeah I know thanks", while thinking "f**k you!"
I just told one of my friends that I SH. Only the second friend who I've ever told. I knew that she used to, so I knew that she wouldn't judge me. After I told her she said, "well it could be worse. I mean, it's not like cutting is really that bad for you. So long as you do it safely it shouldn't be much of a problem."
The first person I told, someone I knew had done it before told me 'Yeah well you only do it for the attention so it doesn't count' it was 3 years before I told anyone again and I never mentioned it to her after that.
Also my boyfriend the first time I had done it in our relationship and after he knew asked 'Is it because of me?' He didn't know what to do or say poor thing.
'We may not have it all together, but together we have it all'
"Did they hurt?" - Some random guy on the exercise bike next to me at the gym. I'd assumed he meant my tattoos, which didn't make sense because he was heavily tattoed himself. But then he jabbed my scars and wouldn't let the conversation drop as I tried to diffuse it.
I know my scars very noticeable on my arm and legs but they are atleast a year old so I think it's inappropriate for a total stranger to approach me about them when I'm at the gym and demand to know everything. It was the first time I'd actually been able to make in weeks because of my social anxiety.
At the time I was very... depressed/ill, very suicidal and sh-ing badly ,a&e was needed I got this off my course manager at college.
' Lauren me and K are very worried about you, you have the choice of whether to have a tutorial with me on Thursday to talk about what is going on. Or I will have to ring up your parents again and tell them that something is going on but your not opening up. Your choice'
...Right so I either tell you I am suicidal and depressed, I will get the health and welfare officer on my tail who will either contact my parents ( which I dont want, or CAMHS which i dont want either). Or I speak to my parents who will also contact CAMHS about me??
Dr in A and E.
You cant keep doing this, there are people in here who are genuinely sick and your taking up a bed.
I hate this. There are so many people with obesity, or smoking, or alcohol related illnesses who are all essentially self-inflicted, and many of them have a lot greater control over their ability to 'quit' and yet the doctors would work hard to help them.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Friend who I was backpacking with:
"Oh my god, what are those scars? (Jokingly) I know, you self-harmed at the thought of coming travelling with me for 4 months! Hahaha"
Me: "Erm..."
He still doesn't realise that they were indeed self-inflicted (though nothing to do with spending time with him). He also frequently jokes that he's going to slit his wrists, and if I have a non-self-harm injury, he'll say to me, again jokingly: "I told you, self-harming isn't the way".
Quite a few years ago I was told by someone that my injuries weren't bad so weren't anything to worry over, and that x, y & z (people) harm more badly than I did.
Saying that to me made me feel invalidated, like my mental pain wasn't anything to worry over. It made me want my injuries to be worse, so they got worse. Then I was treated with 'Dear God what have you done to yourself?!' which isn't helpful either. I still felt invalidate because the physical injury was being seen to but still my mental pain wasn't.
The way that some doctors and medical staff treat people who have self injured is horrible, I've been refused treatment because my injuries were self inflicted. But, as previously mentions, other people who need medical attention due to self inflicted injuries are seen and treated.
I was making dinner last night with a friend of mine who doesn't know I SH. I was using a big knife, and he said, "Careful, that's sharp. Don't want to end up looking like one of those emo cutters."
None of my friends know I self harm. While watching a movie called "exam" there was a girl who self harmed, and one guy in the movie was about to torture her by cutting her in order to get information about her. My friend said, "But he can't torture her because she already does that to herself." Wow so self harmers are immune to pain? Who knew!
Some random old man at the woods today when I was going out a run.
"What did you do to your arm" - looks closer and spots my legs
"There's another one like you that comes up here with a Border Collie" - Assuming he meant another jogger but then
"A crazy scottish bloke with scars all on his arms and legs too, you should speak to him he'll tell you all about it, you people are what's wrong with the world"
Friend who I was backpacking with:
"Oh my god, what are those scars? (Jokingly) I know, you self-harmed at the thought of coming travelling with me for 4 months! Hahaha"
Me: "Erm..."
He still doesn't realise that they were indeed self-inflicted (though nothing to do with spending time with him). He also frequently jokes that he's going to slit his wrists, and if I have a non-self-harm injury, he'll say to me, again jokingly: "I told you, self-harming isn't the way".
That's actually how my cousin found out...! She was joking about SH, and said "Well, show me your wrists then!", and I tried to laugh it off but I actually had cuts and she saw them... Awkward moment.
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
My mom:
"You know, you're going to have those for the rest of your life."
No, really? Well that changes everything then!
"I did that too when I was your age, before it was cool. But I grew out of it."
After handing me a pair of scissors that couldn't cut paper, "don't go scratching yourself with that."
Like yeah, mom, I'm just gonna start hurting myself in the car right in front of you.
She does that with anything remotely sharp (a letter opener) and when I put away knives..
Also, one I've seen on here that really bothers me, "you promise you won't do it anymore?"
My friend that goes around telling people I'm a 'masochist':
"I bet if you had a cigarette you'd burn yourself with it." Then laughs.
It was really random..not to mention it felt like she was suggesting it..so..yeah.
A kid in a science group with me went on about how people who cut themselves should die and how they're selfish and aren't hurting anyone but people around them, etc..
er..awkward.
Last one, I was hanging out with a few kids while they were talking about 'cutters,' my friend that doesn't know I self harm turned to me and said, 'you know you're life is good when you're cutting yourself.' While he was smirking.
..I walked away.
Nurse in a&e in a condescending tone: "God, look at the mess you've made of your arm!"
I've had this from 'proffessionals' & non. Love the way they say it as if you couldn't see it for yourself
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeeez
"well it could be worse. I mean, it's not like cutting is really that bad for you. So long as you do it safely it shouldn't be much of a problem."
How can you cut yourself safely? *scratches head*
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaiporia
I hate this. There are so many people with obesity, or smoking, or alcohol related illnesses who are all essentially self-inflicted, and many of them have a lot greater control over their ability to 'quit' and yet the doctors would work hard to help them.
When my doctor made me promise that was bad enough.. but when my boyfriend tried to get me to say it I almost lost it..
Another one was when I went to the hospital from OD-ing the "Head of poison control" said "Are you stupid? Were you trying to kill yourself?"
Also when my sister says to me "go kill yourself" that's great... she thinks it's funny. She also thinks saying "Go slit your wrists and cry in a corner" is something okay to say. How can something so serious become a funny joke? especially when she has no idea that I used to SI daily.
