I did a google, remembering vaguely where you live, I may have gotten it wrong (and let me knowif you want me to edit the links if you're worried about people knowing what region you're in).
Ok, the Crisis Line / Home treatment team number is : 01733 363177 for future reference, I don't mind ringing them and telling them what I think. However I thought it might be useful to have the number if you get really stuck.
I've also found some services you could ask about, I don't know exactly where you live, so with the agoraphobia it might be hard to go to some of them, but I thought I'd put them out there in case any of them are near you.
http://www.servicedirectory.cpft.nhs...ew.aspx?ID=172
This looked interesting, some of it looks crap (internet CBT, ffs) but it does offer individual therapy and says no one will have to wait longer than 28 days for treatment.
I was thinking, with the complex cases thing that was offered, maybe you could go into cbt or something with one of the above services and work on your agoraphobia with the idea of going further to the complex cases place when you are weller with the agoraphobia?
Also I realise these links are too overwhelming to look at now, but I want you to know that there are still options, and I dont mind ringing/emailing to make enquiries if you feel up to considering any of them.
Here for you hun, I texted you back, sorry for not being around earlier.
Can you keep badgering people, your doctor and people, saying that you need help, they need to find a way to help you. This is not on, you shouldn't have to suffer alone *hugs*
Abigail please concentrate on yourself. Thankyou for taking the time out to help me. I'll text you my address so for future reference you know my local services if you'd like me to but i don't want you to go to anymore trouble than you already have - so thankyou.
Copied and pasted from my LJ:
Sorry for being such a bad friend.
Sorry for being a burden to people who are struggling themselves.
Sorry for failing, at everything.
I promise wholeheartedly to not text or pm anyone of ongoing problems.
I have tried to get the help, assessment today did not go well, lots of shouting and swearing on my part, i think i scared the psychiatrist.
No beds, no hospital., no crisis team, no CPN, no psychiatrist. They're on holiday.
Dr.Newson is sick of me. It's obvious.
Tired now. Sould slowly dying. Body slowly giving up. Heart broken. Arms empty.
Friendless. They will go the way Zoe went, leave me when they know me.
Exhausted. All alone. Medication Thursday. Gone friday night.
It will be ok. It will be.
--
Sorry if i seem cold and unappreciative, i promise i'm not, i just can't focus, my eyes are blurry and i'm scared and tired.
I need to write down my plans when i'm more awake. Need to leave soon. Say it all the time, no one believes me, but that's OK. I'll be gone then no one will have to worry.
I do love you all, and thankyou so much for your support, its gotten me through the past few days.
But it's over now, and the thread can be left now, just let it die, i'll be fine.
thankyou.
I love you, I wish I was helpful and could help you but I want you to know I love you & I know you can get through this. You've come so far, you've overcome these feelings before and I believe you can do these again.
You mentioned you doctor could contact your consultant psych about bypassing the crisis team, is he going to do that?
It can be tough when you feel so powerless. I only wish that you had someone to help carry you through the worst, and bear it with you, so that you're led to a safe place within yourself without needing to end your life.
I really do hope you make it through this without resorting to the desperate measures you have planned. Everyone has a right to achieve their potential in life - including you. This doesn't have to be the end.
I'm sorry things feel like they cannot be overcome right now. They can. however, get better. I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but it's true. Think of the hurt you would leave behind if you committed suicide honey, so many people would miss you. Can you keep asking for help, explain just how serious things have gotten? I know you tried and it seemed to come to nothing, but nagging does work! *big hugs*
I've nagged for 2 years. I've gone to every single appointment, accepted all help given, seen numerous psychiatrists, worked closely with my GP & CPN, taken every single medication, gone out on my own (and suffered for it), phoned many many people, asked for help. I've done everything physically, mentally and emotionally i could have done.
This isn't a quick fix, i've tried 3 times, 1 of which could have been fatal had i left it an extra half hour but someone called an ambulance. I will not be committing suicide because i'm fed up of feeling like this, i will be going because i don't want to be here, i haven't wanted to be here for years - way before i even got diagnosed with anything or became "ill". I don't wish to have a future and seemingly this is difficult for other people to grasp.
I'm not going to go on about it like i usually would, but i did want to explain the above so others can make more sense of it. I have no contact with my 3 brothers, my mother was called into the living room when my psychiatrist was here and he asked my mother how she felt about me/my illness, she openly admitted she didn't care and that she won't support me in anything i do. She's not bothered. Of course, my family will be slightly gutted, as will my friends, but it doesn't last forever, and i think it's selfish of people to make me stay when i don't want to be - it works both ways.
