Wow! This thread grew in the week i've been away. It seems like many people have the same ideas about bullying and stuff.
What about people ranting/bitching (lol) in their journals but having them on private? I know that numbers are banned everywhere whether on the main boards or in journals. My journal is set completely to private but I know that a couple of people are subscribed to it... so yes? What about that?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
It is my understanding that ANYTHING in journals, whether private or public, has to abide by all RYL rules/regulations.
Therefore, the new thing about numbers etc would have to be abided by too.
Although I think there should be some leniency for journals [obviously not like, pro ana/SI or anything, but maybe a bit more wiggle room around the current ED guidelines?].
Although I think there should be some leniency for journals [obviously not like, pro ana/SI or anything, but maybe a bit more wiggle room around the current ED guidelines?].
I know the forums can feel pretty censored, but it's a problem of consistency, I think. If the rules are a bit more lenient in the journals, what's to stop people from referring to it in ED posts - to use your example?
I'm not trying to attack you, it's just... I kinda agree that both sides of that argument have good points. Just wanted to add the above bit despite not being active in the ED forum at all.
As far as ranting about other people (members or not) is concerned - is that still the same topic? I wouldn't consider that bullying, tbh. (Apologies, it's early and my brain still needs to wake up ;) )
Face your life
Its pain, its pleasure
Leave no path untaken
I would certainly call ranting about other RYL members ON RYL (whether mentioning names or not) is out of order.
What do people feel they will gain from it?
IF it's off RYL, and that person will never read it, then, that's different, because people can air there views/opinions of people as much as they like in there own space (i.e. diary/journal).
This is a completely hypothetical situation, but say I wanted to keep a food diary because I have migraines and have to see if different foods trigger it off, and that RYL was the only place I wanted such information to be [because I can then write about my mood etc too], that would be against the current ED rules.
However, if I wrote it in my journal, set it to private, and labelled it appropriately so that any of my buddies would be warned about it, would that be okay??
I think alot of these situations are things that the mods would decide as a TEAM, as they are quite different sorts of situations that we dont generally come up against that much, so we dont have a set answer for you.
But as far as private journals are concerned, we are a little more relaxed with some of the rules due to the fact that only a few people might be reading the entry (and also, the mods dont get reported to them nearly as often!) ..... but on the whole, the RYL Rules still apply to journals, and with regards to rules against flaming and bullying other members, we are still quite strict, even in journals.
But the bottom line is that a mod will ask themselves - what impact could this post/journal entry have on the safety and wellbeing of the RYL community - including individual members, and the community as a whole ...?
... And that is our overall guideline when deciding whether or not something needs dealing with.
I would certainly call ranting about other RYL members ON RYL (whether mentioning names or not) is out of order.
What do people feel they will gain from it?
IF it's off RYL, and that person will never read it, then, that's different, because people can air there views/opinions of people as much as they like in there own space (i.e. diary/journal).
There's a fine line between ranting about other members in a nasty way and posting in R+V in a cathartic "get it off your chest" kind of way though. For example I know people have posted about threads in News and Debate that have really upset them. And it upset me that my opinion would make anyone feel that bad, but it wasn't specifically aimed at me, or anyone in general, just at the thread.
Or there's an argument in chat, it upsets the hell out of you and you feel like self-harming. Is it acceptable to post a rant to try calm yourself down, if it's not being outright nasty about the person, but more about how the things they said made you feel?
I agree some rant threads could be out and out flaming, and if so should probably be reported. But is any thread mentioning anything about another RYL'er automatically out of order?
Singling someone out, is, i feel, different to actually speaking of overall situations.
For instance, i've often ranted in my journal about overall situations in Chat or on a Thread where things have gone too far/upset me - because that's been on my mind at the time.
But i think purposely going out of ones way just to single individuals out is a different story.
Even if you don't mean it in a nasty way, and you just want to say how hurt you are by the confrontation/situation, it can easily be twisted by others, which then causes more problems in the long run.
For instance, there's been times when certain members have gone out of there way to CONSTANTLY mention me in threads, even though they didn't say my username it was obvious to everyone who they were talking about.
I found it very hurtful and unnecessary, and as i suffer with very low self esteem/confidence & paranoia, it led me to feel quite triggered/upset knowing that this person's friends on RYL will contact her outside of RYL to discuss me - which actually happened, as suddenly i had all these people who were replying to this persons thread viewing my journal and they'd never viewed it before!
So in that situation alone, i can say i feel it is a form of bullying.
If someone wants to rant/rave about -said member- and how they have upset them, it's easy enough to do in a private journal entry (obviously sticking to the rules) just to get it off your chest. It isn't necessary to make it public for all to see and speculate.
That's what i meant, anyway, heh. And i hope that made sense.
&& Typsee - i honestly don't think nothing more can be done on this topic other than what is already in place. If one feels threatened/upset by said thread/post/journal entry, they should report it to a moderator as soon as possible.
As you can see, this thread is now closed. I've locked it as the moderators feel it is no longer beneficial, and although the discussion was important, it is now going round in circles, and just upsetting members, rather than achieving it's original goal.
Any issues, please feel free to either PM myself or contact any of the other moderators, or email us at moderators@recoveryourlife.com.
