people should just suck it up, some people are thinner than you, some people are prettier you, some thin girls feel fat, some normal sized girls feel fat (have you ever met a girl who is completely comfortable in their body?).
people need to stop complaining about it and get over themselves, like, seriously, real life doesnt censor this. it's not going to help anyone making this place an unrealistic version of real life, it will just upset them even more when it does (and will happen) in real life.
i understand why the mods have closed it, but i dont agree with it and i know debating this isnt actually going to do anything, because, as always, it is not a debate, it is the moderators defending themselves.
could we not do a poll and see who wants the thread and who doesnt? that would be the fairest option, no?
Don't be so patronising and stupid. We are well aware that there are folk who are thinner/prettier than us. It is the fact that there is such a horribley negative view on being fat. WHY is it such a bad thing? And so if you have comments again and again in every post of "OMG I'm so fat I'M DISGUSTING!" you cannot help but be offended and upset by it. If you know that you're fat and usually you're ok with it then you read again and again that these people are disgusted by it, then that must mean they are disgusted by you. You are disgusting and crap and not worth any real effort or time. Is basically the thought process.
Are you starting to see where we're coming from?
How dare you sit there and tell us to 'suck it up' that is such an ignorant and offensive thing to say, especially as you have NO idea of how it feels. Real life doesn't censor things ofcourse, and it hurts, constantly being told you're ugly purely because of your weight and that you're not good enough, that starts to get to you after a while.
And RYL IS unrealistic. This is not life on a website, this is meant to be a place of support and place to escape real life so excuse me if I would prefer not to come onto this supportive website and have the fact that I am seen as 'ugly', 'gross' and 'disgusting' shoved down my throat again and again. Ofcourse I am always aware that society sees me as 'unworthy' but do you really think it's ok to constantly have it right there infront of you in plain writing?
Last edited by Crumple... : 27-08-2008 at 12:27 AM.
people should just suck it up, some people are thinner than you, some people are prettier you, some thin girls feel fat, some normal sized girls feel fat (have you ever met a girl who is completely comfortable in their body?).
people need to stop complaining about it and get over themselves, like, seriously, real life doesnt censor this. it's not going to help anyone making this place an unrealistic version of real life, it will just upset them even more when it does (and will happen) in real life.
i understand why the mods have closed it, but i dont agree with it and i know debating this isnt actually going to do anything, because, as always, it is not a debate, it is the moderators defending themselves.
could we not do a poll and see who wants the thread and who doesnt? that would be the fairest option, no?
i think more people should read this.
strange thoughts come into your head and you better think them.
i think this thread is getting way out of hand and some people are being ignorant stupid and generally trying to make the mods feel bad and people who got upset by this thread to feel stupid.
The mods made the right choice. The thread was out of control with negative comments. There are plenty of places where you can go and announce to the world that you feel fat when all you're doing is saying it so people will go "oh no no you're not, you're beautiful" blah blah blah.
I back Crumple up completely! "people should just suck it up, some people are thinner than you, some people are prettier you, some thin girls feel fat, some normal sized girls feel fat (have you ever met a girl who is completely comfortable in their body?). " Are you kidding? If I wrote that yes it's true you're fat after you've said 'oh i feel so fat' would that help? No. So what is the point of making a comment like that! Stupid! This is a website people are supposed to come to for support and to feel safe and when you're having it shoved down your throat that somebody who is clearly very unwell in how thin they are telling everyone they feel fat, it makes people who aren't thin feel SO much worse. Yes it's true that many people truly believe they are fat when they aren't but that's beside the point. It's not the pictures that were hurting people. It was the UNNECESSARY comments going along with it.
I think this thread is turning into a mud slinging contest. The waywtt is gone. It's going to stay gone as it upset more people than it didn't. Deal with it. Don't attack the mods for doing their jobs. They don't need to defend themselves. They made the right choice. And I, for one, am glad they did.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
As behindblueyes has stated..couldn't have worded it better myself.
I'm also a big person and i felt that other people's feelings weren't being taken into account in that thread. Us "larger" people have enough to put up with in todays society, without coming online to a website we're meant to feel safe on to find negative comments about how "fat" is disgusting, and how a size 6 is absolutely huge. >.<
So, as you may know, we decided to lock the 'What are you wearing today' thread on the 16th June this year. After discussion, we have come to the conclusion to remove it completely.
Whilst I can understand that for a lot of people, it was really interesting to see what people were wearing, it also had the potential to trigger people, especially with the full-body shots. It can also be very triggering for someone to look at a thread and see someone who they feel is thinner than them calling themselves "fat" or "disgusting".
There was also speculation about some people photoshopping their photos, to make them look slimmer, which just goes to show the competitive aspect of the thread.
Most of you will remember the "ED picture thread" which we have also deleted in the past few months. We feel that in it's absence, the "What are you wearing?" thread has gained some of the competetive atmosphere that we were trying to get rid of here at RYL.
We hope you understand our decision. If you have any questions, please go ahead and ask.
Joanna,
RYL Mod.
xxx
It wasn't all about the comments people made on themselves. That was only part of it.
In short, plenty of people found it to be quite a triggering thread. This site isn't real life, which is part of the purpose of people coming on here. It's a safe haven, a getaway from the real life where they can seek support and talk to others who deal with similar issues, and that's just how it is.
So, yes, this site is a lot more censored than real life. Why not give someone a place they can go to where they don't have to worry about seeing images of extremely thin people, especially ones commenting on how fat they are?
Everyone is entitled to their opinions on this but the insults need to stop. I will be taking the insults thrown around in this thread to the moderators and will see what they have to say on whether this thread should remain open or not.
Insults are not going to be tolerated on this site and if that requires people to receive warnings, infractions, their posts being edited, or the threads they're posted in be closed, it will happen.
I just wanted to say that I totally agree with the mods decision to close the thread.
It isn't one I looked in very often and a lot of that is because of the comments making me feel uncomfortable. I'm size 6. I'm the size I am because of the health problems I have at the moment but if I feel uncomfortable with the comments on it I can only begin to imagine how everyone who is larger than the people posting and saying their percieved 'fatness' is really disgusting is making them feel. On here of all places we should NOT post giving the impression that being fat is 'disgusting', if you have comments about your own weight especially when connected with photo's you should try and keep it to yourself as people of all different sizes, often who are very vulnerable due to the type of forum it is do look here.
Personally I think that this thread has now run it's course. The WAYWTT thread has been closed and won't be re-opened. We know the reasons for it. Ways have been suggested of what could be done to open a similar but less triggering/ 'emotionally-affecting' thread so I personally think their is little need to keep arguing a point on here.
people should just suck it up, some people are thinner than you, some people are prettier you, some thin girls feel fat, some normal sized girls feel fat (have you ever met a girl who is completely comfortable in their body?).
people need to stop complaining about it and get over themselves, like, seriously, real life doesnt censor this. it's not going to help anyone making this place an unrealistic version of real life, it will just upset them even more when it does (and will happen) in real life.
i understand why the mods have closed it, but i dont agree with it and i know debating this isnt actually going to do anything, because, as always, it is not a debate, it is the moderators defending themselves.
could we not do a poll and see who wants the thread and who doesnt? that would be the fairest option, no?
i'm sorry if it seems unfair but i agree with this also.
//
but saying that. i think it is ready for this thread to be locked. it's just blah blah saying the same thing over & over.
Insults are not going to be tolerated on this site and if that requires people to receive warnings, infractions, their posts being edited, or the threads they're posted in be closed, it will happen.
I will be happy to hear the outcome of this as I dont appreciate being called ignorant, patronising and stupid when i voiced a valid opinion where I never target a specific person. It makes me sad that people cant have a good old debate without it resulting in name calling )= Could a mod please pm me?
Also, Crumple, I would appreciate you refraining from comments such as 'you dont know how it feels' when you do not know anything about me, my life or my illlnesses. Thanks.
I agree with linder, I think we have discussed this enough and all had a chance to voice our opinions (and thank you for allowing us to). At the end of the day, it is up to the mods to decide. It's going around in circles now so i think slapping the key on it would be the best thing.
I have no problem with people being thinner than me. I DO have a problem with those people that are a perfect size 10 or whatever saying "OMG I'm SO fat I'm DISGUSTING".
Because if they're disgusting, then what the **** am I?
Hi everyone,
As you can see we have decided to close this thread now. As everyone has had a chance to air their views on this issue and the thread seems to be going round in circles. Thank you to everyone for raising their issues/concerns about this and if you have anything further to add please feel free to contact the moderators.
Liv.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Just to add to that, although we respect & thank everyone for their opinions, the "What are you wearing today?" thread is to remain deleted. Our initial decision still stands, and if you still wish to make a formal complaint about this action then please contact us at moderators@recoveryourlife.com or via PM.
