Katie like Emma says everyone reacts in a different manner. A while ago someone who I knew daughter died. I never met the daughter and have no idea what happened but the mum was on my Facebook.
It hit me really hard unnaturally so probably and the reason wasn't this girl dying but because I saw the raw grief her death had on her family and friends. I was feeling incredibly suicidal at the time and the girl was my age and I kind of saw her parents as how my parents would react.
I guess what I'm saying is that things happen that means everyone grieves differently there is no right or wrong way to grieve and it doesn't in any way make you a fraud.
I know how much Amy meant to you and I know how much she 'loved' you and that is what counts Hun
Ps you may find this helpful http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model it's a model about how people grieve and the first step is denial where you don't really want it to be real and I imagine at that point you probably aren't to 'upset' because you don't want it to be true etc
The model is the process people typically go through but it is also totally individual
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
Katie, you're an amazing person. You would do what any good friend would do, save your friend. Try and help her. I would of. Don't beat yourself up.
xxx
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
Katie, don't feel like a fraud, you were clearly a very close & very supportive friend of Amy's & as everyone above has said, everyone deals with death in their own way. We're all here if you need anything. Take care of yourself.
Yes, we know how it happened. And no, I'm absolutely not going to post how it happened on a public forum. Just know regardless of how it happened, there would never have been a doubt in her mind that it was the right thing to do for her. I'll never forget her screaming her lungs out at me one time trying to get her to hospital after she poisoned herself. All she ever wanted was to die. I've never seen so much pain on a human's face in my life, it was practically imprinted on my eyelids for months after... And it makes me question whether I was cruel to force her into prolonging her life for so long, me and other friends down south took her to hospital so many times, tried so hard to help her. I just hope that she was able to appreciate every happy memory from then on. And we had some ****ing good times. It's hard to express how I'm feeling when people who weren't so close to her seem to be so much more emotional. It's making me feel like a ****ing fraud.
Just had to reply to this because I think its important.
I think....even if you never cried or never told people you were upset or anything else, that will never invalidate the grief you feel and it doesn't make your feelings any less valid because you're not telling us that you're upset.
Especially when in cases like this,where you might actually feel some kind of relief, however painful that feels that she isn't going through this torment anymore. She didn't want to be stopped and I don't think anyone will ever think you or anyone else should or could have done anything more. As I said in my previous post I will never feel right to say she is better off however when there is very little that can be done for someone,despite all their and other peoples hard work then this may be the kindest solution.
Its human nature to want to save someone, to make them live, otherwise we wouldnt have hospitals and doctors and so on. That doesnt make you cruel...wanting you friend to have a good life and beat her demons isn't cruel, you and her other friends did what they considered to be the best thing and thats all anyone can do.
You knew her and knew her well and whatever you may think about you not showing your emotions etc, we know you and others that knew her are hurting and you dont have to be screaming or crying or self destructing for us to know and we will be here for you and for everyone else if and when we are needed.
This is already hard enough on you, don't add to it by making yourself feel guilty, it isnt needed and she wouldn't want that either.
x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
no helpful words Katie, this must be completely awful for you. i just wanted to leave you my love. i will be thinking of you and her other friends and family.
I didnt know Ami either But seems like she was a lovely person! Thinking of all her friends and family RIP Ami xxx
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Girl Interrupted
When you dont want to feel, death seems like a dream. ~ Girl Interrupted
Especially when in cases like this,where you might actually feel some kind of relief, however painful that feels that she isn't going through this torment anymore. She didn't want to be stopped and I don't think anyone will ever think you or anyone else should or could have done anything more. As I said in my previous post I will never feel right to say she is better off however when there is very little that can be done for someone,despite all their and other peoples hard work then this may be the kindest solution.
You have no idea the guilt I feel for feeling like in a horrible way, a weight has been lifted. There will be no more bad news, no more waiting, no more trying to communicate with hospitals and family, no not knowing if she'll make it through the night, no more seeing her being tortured by her mind. Because it's over, the story is closed. And it was a hell of a ride. But worth every second.
But yeah, this thread isn't about me, it's about everyone who loved her so I'll be quiet.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
You have no idea the guilt I feel for feeling like in a horrible way, a weight has been lifted. There will be no more bad news, no more waiting, no more trying to communicate with hospitals and family, no not knowing if she'll make it through the night, no more seeing her being tortured by her mind. Because it's over, the story is closed. And it was a hell of a ride. But worth every second.
But yeah, this thread isn't about me, it's about everyone who loved her so I'll be quiet.
Trust me,I know exactly how that feels.
This thread is for Ami,but its for you too.If you need anything you know where I am.xx
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Rockaroni, she was lucky to have you. By the sounds of things you were an amazing friend to her and I'm sure she appreciated every second of it. You stood by her till the end and that is what matters. I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself x
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Thanks again for all being so lovely. I'll be sure to let the family know how much she was loved.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
I have only just read this but it's so so sad. I remember Ami from my old-skool RYL days, on another account. RIP Ami <3
I am sending love and hugs to all who were close to her <3
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
:( I didn't know you Ami, but i hope you are feeling safe and at peace now.
Sending hugs and love to everyone affected by this xx
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
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