No I hate that phrase too, but when I told some people that I SH so usually they do not understand what I mean but when I say that I cut myself Then They Understand directly what I mean.
Close your eyes, so many days go by.
Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right.
Dance With The Devil - Breaking Benjamin
There is nothing like driving so fast that you can see the thin line between life and death
TheOneWho: what I mean is, it isn't a particularly nice thing to talk about really, and if people do want to know the particulars then they will ask, but to get support from friends then those friends dont necessarily need to know the details. I appreciate that a professional might want to know so that they can decide how much risk you are at in terms of doing yourself damage, adn i guess a friend could do the same, but in a normal supportive conversation, or pretty much any conversation about it really, people dont need to know what you do, and i think its a lot more tasteful to just say I self harm, in fact i absolutely refuse to discuss methods if it comes up when im asking someone for support because that just isnt the point. I get that some people will see it differently, but thats how i feel.
Also, about the niggers thing, i know some people still use it, but its widely unacceptable, same with queer.
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
Just realised i rambled around in circles for about a paragraph. Sorry
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
I remember a conversation with an old therapist in which she asked if I was on a website for 'cutters' (I actually wasn't at the time). I raised an eyebrow and said "Cutters? Is that a medical term?" She said she hardly thought so, that it was just a commonly used term. I said "Yes, but it's not my defining quality".
She did come back the next session and say "But you are a cutter, though, Laura". And I guess she was right. It just felt frustrating that it seemed to be used to describe me as a person. But, then, I wouldn't like to be called a self-harmer either... rather, that I 'cut', or that I 'self harm'. I grimace when people refer to 'Borderlines' too.
I haven't read the last five pages, so sorry if I repeated anything.
u cut - youre a cutter.
u self harm - youre a selfharmer.
its simple.
But if you cut yourself you are a self-harmer. If you burn yourself you are a self-harmer. If you drink to excess you are a self-harmer. If you self-amputate you are a self-harmer. Self-harm is broad, and the methods help narrow it down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scaredy-cat
TheOneWho: what I mean is, it isn't a particularly nice thing to talk about really, and if people do want to know the particulars then they will ask, but to get support from friends then those friends dont necessarily need to know the details.
I'd agree with that. I never needed to tell people the ins and outs, but I did say that I cut. It's not a particularly nice topic of conversation, but is it meant to be? That is why I see no point in trying to find 'softer' words to describe your own actions.
Quote:
Also, about the niggers thing, i know some people still use it, but its widely unacceptable, same with queer.
Depends on the circle it is used in. Queer has been successfully reclaimed and rebranded by the 'gay community' (I hate that term), so much so that it is now no longer really an insult. It is still used as one, but it doesn't have the same impact as it once had. Nigger is widely used amongst the 'black community' or at least in 'black culture', but it is generally unacceptable for a white outsider to use the word.
Geez, The One Who, you're taking this a bit personal aren't you? Can't you let it drop, being argumentative distracts from the thread (in my opinion anyway)
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Geez, The One Who, you're taking this a bit personal aren't you? Can't you let it drop, being argumentative distracts from the thread (in my opinion anyway)
Title of forum: Self-Injury Discussion & Support
Quote:
Originally Posted by first post
Anyone else agree?
Or disagree?
I'm not being argumentative, I'm discussing.
Wouldn't life be boring if we all agreed on everything? But again, if you have a problem with a post of mine then you know what to do.
After posting previously on here I disagree with myslef lol. I went to the doctors and actually cutter doesn't bother me as much as I thought it did. Although it does not define who I am it is what I do. I cut therefore I am a cutter. I can see how the word is hurtful but I think if you can't admit to yourself what you are then how are you meant to recover from it.
Just my opinion ( I know it contrasts with my previous opinion but everyone changes their minds now and again)
I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean toward the opposite.
Am I the only one who hates the phrase "cutting"?
I prefer to say I self-harm, not "cut".
When people say to me "you cut yourself?" I want to tell them "no, I self-harm." Something about that phrase just bugs me. The word "cutter" is the same. I cannot stand that word, I think it is shameful, and gross. I think self-harmer or even self-injurer is a lot lighter.
Anyone else agree?
Or disagree?
I haven't read all the replies in this thread,..but I don't think it makes much sense to make the description word for the act of self harm and the person engaging in it 'light' at all. Not sure it's helpful to in-effect downplay the severity of what it is. And while it's not shameful, it is actually kinda gross IMO. [I'm an ex self harmer.]
If someone says you cut yourself then they're right. So telling them no makes little sense. It's just semantics and trying to make the act of self harm sound lighter and more appealing won't do anyone much good in the long run.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
The reason I use the term self harmer is because I use various types of self harm but one in particular is quite rare and I doubt people would know what I meant if i said it as in a ********er Also I am ashamed of my particular form of self harm and if someone asks me if I hurt myself I say yes but I do not publicize the fact or define myself it ( or at least try not to)
The only time I am descriptive/explain what has happened is to drs or my parents do I can get treatment.
^^ I also use the term self harm because I don't just cut either.
And as others have said, self harm is just a better term for me than "cutter", it doesn't mean I'm denying to myself that what I'm doing isn't pretty or tasteful or bad, I'm fully aware of that, using the term self harm admits to yourself you do self harm, you do engage in behaviors that are harmful to yourself and are not "socially accepted" or accepted in general for you.
If you burn, I never hear people say "I'm a burner", or if you bite yourself, I don't hear "I'm a biter", etc etc for other methods.
I understand cutting is the most common method, though, so maybe that's why cutter is used as it's so common and most people self harm in that way. *shrugs*
For me though, cutting is a method, so saying you're a cutter - it's as if you're defining yourself to the method you use, and it is a tad more graphic than saying you self harm/self injure, with self harm, you're just saying you harm yourself, there are no specifics in methods, and if people want specifics, then that's down to you to share if you want them to know the specifics.
I don't actually ever hear professionals or other people say though -
"are you a cutter",
I hear -
"do you self harm"
Self harm, self injure/y, self mutilation, cutter, all of them mean you hurt yourself, I just find self harm a better term all round but that's just for me, other people are different and that's fine, this is just my take on it.
I don't see how saying you self harm though is a phrase that is "soft" either.
They all mean the same thing.
That you harm yourself.
That generally isn't "soft".
I think it's individual in what people prefer to use to describe what they do to themselves and how to get it across to other people.
I'm not gonna jump on people though if people do use cutter to describe their self harm, that's their choice to use it, same if people choose to say they self injure/self mutilate, to me, they mean the same thing, it's just different terms to explain it, but cutter is kind of a more extreme/graphic term to use but that's just me.
I'm not trying to cause drama with my post either, if people take offense to it, then it wasn't meant to be offensive, it's merely my opinion on the word "Cutter" and a response taking into account of what others have said, and what have you.
