I'm homeeee from IP.

[All I know is falling.]

Jess, do not cancel the appointment at the ED Center. You need help.

I'm so proud of you for eating unsafe foods on both Christmas eve and Christmas day, and whether or not you're back to ED habits now, that is still amazing and something to be proud of. How did you feel while you were doing it?

I know that you're upset that you've eaten more than you planned today, but I promise you that is a good thing. You are tiny, Jess, and I am extremely worried about you. Your body needs that food just to survive, just to keep you alive. It's not going to turn into fat at all, and if you've gained any weight it's because your body needs the food and is holding onto it because it doesn't know when it's going to eat again. It's starving and it's dying.

Please keep working on reasons as to why you want and need to recover.
Please, you're too amazing to lose.

[fragile as glass]

Everyone with an ED will have eaten more over christmas - you are NOT ALONE in this - me too. We have to try and keep this in perspective. A few days, not weeks should not make much, if any of a difference AT ALL to our weight.

[Buttercup.]

Thank you loves <3

Today has been rough. I am exercising and restricting like crazy. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I'm in disbelief. I got on the scale again...and I've gained AGAIN. How is this even possible :( I feel like such a joke.

[HopeRises]

Don't cancel your appointments Jess, because if you do it will get worse. Atleast with the clinic you have a chance of getting better if thats what you want.

I think it's good you ate 'unsafe foods' means you can do it! I'm sorry though to hear your back to ED behaviours.

I think your body is holding and storing every bit of food cause you don't 'feed it' regularly enough at the moment. Think of it as a camel, a camel doesn't get water often so it stores water in its hump and slowly uses it up. If it got water regualrly it wouldn't need to store it. Your body is storing your food. The weight gain is fake and if you continue to eat regularly it will stop doing so.

Look after yourself
We all love you muchly

[Buttercup.]

Thanks Leigh <3 Ugh. I just don't even know. I just feel like my ED center will see that I've gained weight and think I'm fine.

And Paigey...dude I JUST saw your post. I will check out that place. I miss you and don't feel bad. Loveeee.