Chels, I think what you're requesting would verge on bullying (although I know that isn't your intention). What you're trying to do is to get people to highlight one person who's behaved in this way and exhibit them in a big thread for the whole forum to see. That is making it personal. Apart from that, this serves very well as a general thread about making out in photos and whether or not people find it acceptable.
It doesn't have to be something that has openly happened for people to speak about the idea of it, just something that has been hinted at or has started to occur.
Chels, I think what you're requesting would verge on bullying (although I know that isn't your intention). What you're trying to do is to get people to highlight one person who's behaved in this way and exhibit them in a big thread for the whole forum to see.
These threads... are highlighting one person?
My point is thus proven. That is why I asked.
We ARE talking about one person. Which is bullying. If it were more than one person, a regular occurence of lots of members, then fair enough. But you've basically admitted that these instances are literally about one person.
I have nothing more to say except I really would've thought we were above this - no matter what we found annoying.
^ as above. This is clearly about a particular person, and if this isn't flaming/Personal attacks I don't know what is.I feel really uncomfortable with this being allowed; if it was about ANYTHING else it would be removed.
There seems to be a few members who, for some reason or another, are particularly irritated by/angry with other members. This seems to be part of an ongoing thing which, as Chels highlighted, is openly bullying in its nature.
This is NOT an isolated incident, or something that is widespread in RYL. This is targeting an individual and frankly, I've had enough of it.
Haven't we all got more to be worrying about? Aren't we all in pain one way or another? Surely further contributing to the discomfort of another member (either by inadvertently posting triggering photos, or through 5 page threads of weakly veiled attacks) is something we need to avoid? Breathe, and step away from the computer. Go and bother yourself with something else.
Whatever Happened to our Inner Glow?
<3 Sarah, My brilliant, beautiful, RAWR little sis
My point is thus proven. That is why I asked.
We ARE talking about one person. Which is bullying. If it were more than one person, a regular occurence of lots of members, then fair enough. But you've basically admitted that these instances are literally about one person.
I have nothing more to say except I really would've thought we were above this - no matter what we found annoying.
No no no, I don't quite understand what point you've proven? AFAIK, nobody has mentioned names, nobody has linked to specific photos (which is what you were asking), and nobody is saying anything like "oh, there's that photo with x and y in the background", highlighting one or two people.
What people seem to be discussing is a general unease brought on by a certain theme of photos - which at the moment tend to be perpetrated by only one or two people, but to imply that the whole thread is directed at only them takes prejudgement and assumption (unless I've missed specific name-mentioning or situation-mentioning?). Just because it was sparked by a recent situation doesn't mean that it's targeted at only those people, that's how discussions tend to work.
Say somebody comes on to the forum, sees some photos of a couple kissing, considers posting a photo of themselves kissing, then reads this thread and sees people saying that some members find those photos triggering. Crisis averted, non? Personally, I feel that this thread serves a very good purpose in discussing what people do and don't find upsetting or not-appropriate-for-this-forum. There are no direct mentions and no specific incidents that have been described.
Haven't we all got more to be worrying about? Aren't we all in pain one way or another?
Na, I'm just here for the funnies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreaming.
Say somebody comes on to the forum, sees some photos of a couple kissing, considers posting a photo of themselves kissing, then reads this thread and sees people saying that some members find those photos triggering. Crisis averted, non? Personally, I feel that this thread serves a very good purpose in discussing what people do and don't find upsetting or not-appropriate-for-this-forum. There are no direct mentions and no specific incidents that have been described. It's a general discussion sparked by recent events (as many discussions are) about people's feelings towards that genre of picture.
Now come on Jo, remember, not everyone comes into this forum & there are a select few that frequent it, but some just come here to defend their internet buddies.
I think I need to raise my point which has been ignored & I feel it's perfectly valid.
A few years ago a member posted a picture of her & her new partner, a few outraged at the fact that the ex was on this site said a few choice replies & the member then took the photo down.
There are many people on this site that get into relationships, we are supposedly all vulnerable, is it really fair to start flaunting these new relationships around? I had a relationship with someone on this site, & at one point had I seen photographic evidence of them necking I would have been angry, because I wouldn't do it to them.
Surely that is a form of bullying, to go around flaunting a new relationship in the face of an ex? There are many people on this site who have had multiple partners through this site & surely, thats got to be hard, worse than seeing them in the street, you go to somewhere for support & bam, there's the thing thats hurting you.
I cant quite go along with the notion that everyone who has posted on this thread saying that they dont want to see pics of licking etc has some sort of beef with other members. I will use myself as an example, I have no problem with anyone whos posted those pictures, its the pictures themselves that I have a problem with.
Have there been some points where this thread is on the line of talking about specific members, yes. But it isn't the case that everyone who is disagreeing with the 'i should be able to have whatever pics up' point of view, has some sort of vendetta about certain members.
A suggestion, if you feel as if this thread is targetting or bullying, please report it, thats what the button is there for.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Now come on Jo, remember, not everyone comes into this forum & there are a select few that frequent it, but some just come here to defend their internet buddies.
Ha, true. Or, like me, just loves a bit of drama. :)
I think you've got a tres good point on the rest of your reply, too.
No no no, I don't quite understand what point you've proven? AFAIK, nobody has mentioned names, nobody has linked to specific photos (which is what you were asking), and nobody is saying anything like "oh, there's that photo with x and y in the background", highlighting one or two people.
Names might not have been mentioned, but it is VERY clear, from reading this thread and the significant other thread, that this is about one poster. I just think its bullying to be honest, and I feel a bit out of place saying this caus i have not been a member too long and dont really 'know' anyone properly on here, its just that from my 6 months or so of being a member I have never really seen this kind of thread, where there seems a lot of bitching/bullying going on. Just makes me sad, caus I usually feel that this site is so open and welcoming , and v v helpful.
Sorry to rant on, I dont mean to offend anyone and I know I dont know the 'backstory' of the specific members relationship and ex etc, I just feel that what is being said, or implied, about her is totally out of order, no one should be ganged up on, essp on a support site!
This discussion is getting quite distasteful, it is clearly about one poster
I don't think its about just one person - although some people seem to take special delight in using their pics in an exhibitionist way (that seems meant to be provocative). I learned to stay away from the "Significant Other" photo thread because it had too much vom material. I have put other people on my ignore list for make-out gifs in sigs that are also vom material.
I don't really want to get dragged too much into this, but I do have a couple of things to say.
1. I don't really have a problem with photos of this nature. If people want to show off their love, then it's fine with me.
2. If for some reason, you dislike a photo, report it & don't turn the thread into an argument.
3. If you KNOW you have a problem with the thread/with the people posting in it, don't look.
4. I suppose people could put 'offensive' photos into a hide box, but only if a mod etc asks them to (i.e if somebody has reported it).
That's it, that's all I have to say. I don't want to get in to an argument. I hope this post has been useful. x
"How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!"
♥
I think it's really unfair that this thread is basically targeted at my girlfriend, let's face it, there was no problem until she posted photos of our time together (I'm ignoring her previous "relationship" in this).
And to clarify, there are NO photos of us "tonguing" each other on here.
I think some people need to man up and realise that you're existing in the real world here, you're going to see people kissing, you can't exactly escape that. Do you get "triggered" when you see people kissing on TV shows/films (fair enough if you do, just a question)? Does it bother you when people post pictures of their tongue piercings in the piercing/tattoo thread (yes, different situation I know)? As said, it's a thread to show off your significant other, of course there are going to be kissing photos. Personally, I like those sort of photos, I find them pretty cute. It's not like we take a photo every time we kiss, that would be ridiculous, but if we want to document our limited time together why shouldn't we be able to, and show each other off? *I* would get triggered if it actually was "pornographic" or there was groping etc but IMO the pictures Sar posted are perfectly acceptable and a lot of people need to just, basically (and I hate this phrase) get over it.
Agreed my girlyyy! xxxxx
Quote:
Originally Posted by Google
Don't care at all, people can kiss make out or whatever infront of me and i dont care. And i dont mean that in a perverted way.
Had to quote this, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snow White.
This reminds me of a Kesha lyric.
"You can't imagine the immensity of the **** I'm not giving."
Don't care at all. If I did, I wouldn't seek out the photos, and if I did accidentally see it, well I'd probably move on. And if the signature bothered me so much, I'd either report it to the moderators or put the member on ignore.
I love it. Someone complains about being triggered by words or such and they're laughed at, or told to harden the **** up, we should expose people, teach them to deal with it, ryl is/isn't/is real life etc etc bullshit moan that is always around somewhere. But you can't post a photo that might have a kiss, or a tongue in it.
Agreed Aimee. x
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14MillionMiles
^ as above. This is clearly about a particular person, and if this isn't flaming/Personal attacks I don't know what is.I feel really uncomfortable with this being allowed; if it was about ANYTHING else it would be removed.
There seems to be a few members who, for some reason or another, are particularly irritated by/angry with other members. This seems to be part of an ongoing thing which, as Chels highlighted, is openly bullying in its nature.
This is NOT an isolated incident, or something that is widespread in RYL. This is targeting an individual and frankly, I've had enough of it.
Haven't we all got more to be worrying about? Aren't we all in pain one way or another? Surely further contributing to the discomfort of another member (either by inadvertently posting triggering photos, or through 5 page threads of weakly veiled attacks) is something we need to avoid? Breathe, and step away from the computer. Go and bother yourself with something else.
*nods* Sis. <3
Quote:
Originally Posted by crjs1
This discussion is getting quite distasteful, it is clearly about one poster, and that just doesnt seem fair. Almost bullying if you ask me. If people have a problem with an individual or thier posts/pics, surely reporting and contacting a mod is better than this. Sorry to moan.... And nothing on that thread is remotely pornographic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crjs1
Names might not have been mentioned, but it is VERY clear, from reading this thread and the significant other thread, that this is about one poster. I just think its bullying to be honest, and I feel a bit out of place saying this caus i have not been a member too long and dont really 'know' anyone properly on here, its just that from my 6 months or so of being a member I have never really seen this kind of thread, where there seems a lot of bitching/bullying going on. Just makes me sad, caus I usually feel that this site is so open and welcoming , and v v helpful.
Sorry to rant on, I dont mean to offend anyone and I know I dont know the 'backstory' of the specific members relationship and ex etc, I just feel that what is being said, or implied, about her is totally out of order, no one should be ganged up on, essp on a support site!
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
As has been said enough times, this is a support site. It is sad that a lot of repliers just don't seem to be taking on board genuine concerns that other members have, or comments about how some members find those photos triggering.
There's obviously a limit of what should be removed/considered because of triggering nature (I don't see the point in removing a photo of a spoon because one person was once attacked with a spoon), but if people are saying that they are finding it triggering, to me it shows a real lack of consideration to completely ignore that (especially as it is so easy to hide photos).
Last edited by Dreaming. : 20-04-2011 at 10:09 PM.
Just because it was sparked by a recent situation doesn't mean that it's targeted at only those people, that's how discussions tend to work.
Jo you always say things that I mean. And Erin, I agree.
Jo, this is a support site so you cannot ever say anything that may upset anyone in any way, shape or form. You cannot hold a negative view of a book or a film (or at least you cannot post it) and you cannot disagree with anyone because it's not 'supportive', or it's being 'nasty'. Any disagreement in opinion is instantly an argument as well.
I have to say I do like a bit of drama lol![[LittleMonster]'s Avatar](image.php?s=3df161432b68a03fe4473dd0bbc922dd&u=13847&dateline=1376481098)
