We all care about you so much, I so hope you do wake up. You can get through this. Thinking about you. *hugs*
Louise
Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.
* hugs* ally, you are an amazing girl. also you do not deserve these feelings. you are so filled with kindness and you have an amazing heart.
hang in there hun. im always here
Ally I'm thinking of you sweetheart. I hope you do wake up as well hon because I'm joing the "I really want to meet Ally someday" club.You can do this, you really can!
You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.
So yes I woke up (obviously) and am now in tears for no apparent reason; maybe because I just dont feel like I can handle another day of this I dont know. I just know that it hurts being alive.
*soothing cuddles*
Ally I really wish I was where you are right now so I could give you these cuddles in person. You shouldn't be hurting you're too good a person for that trust me hon. What do you think could help? Maybe chilling out with a DVD or book for a bit of escapism?
*love and hugs*
You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.
thankyou Kiran, really. I wish that I could believe you that I'm a good person though. I feel like going for a drive with the music blaring but dont feel safe right now. Maybe book or DVD instead, thankyou for the suggestions.
I told my psych in that email that I cant keep doing this forever, and he agreed with me... how much longer am I supposed to put up with existing not living and feeling like this before it's "ok" to make it stop?!
So I went out and saw my horse and a friend today, and I had a good talk to my friend about things, but it didnt make me feel better. WHY? It should have, it was good to see her, it just... I dont know, it hasnt changed things.
I dont believe that things will ever change, but I promised P I wouldn't kill myself and I keep my promises.
I know what you mean about always keeping promises... I am the same:(
but in a way its a good thing cuz it means we are putting our trust in them and buying them some extra time to try and help us... and this means we always have the small glimmer of hope of things being ok one day...
I know its so hard though.... I am here fighting by your side all the way!!!
sorry that I dont have any great words right now
but am thinking of you:)
*cuddles gently*
xxxx
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
*Hugs you lots and lots* I am the same with promises so I know how hard it can be sometimes. I am glad your trying your best through to hold on. I care about you so much, only ever a PM away if you want to talk. Thinking of you sweetheart xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Ally how are you feeling today? It's a good thing that you are emailing P. I've been emailing my psych too and it sucks having to wait until Monday if you send it on the weekend so I know how you feel with that. I hope that you got some proper rest last night.
thanks for the replies guys, and sorry for bumping this up again I'm just not feeling too great tonight and dont know what to do.
I couldnt sleep last night because of everything running through my head so I wrote a long email to P, I just wish that I would get a reply, though I dont really expect one until tomorrow.
I just dont know how to cope anymore, I'm trying so hard to stay safe and reach out for help but I'm running out of people to reach out to, it's really just you guys and P. No one else seems able to do anything to help, they just tell me to distract myself or to go into hospital if I am unsafe which is not an option as far as I am concerned.
I just feel like I dont want to be here anymore, I dont see hope for the future and I dont see myself having anything more than what I have. Sorry to be self pitying... thats just how I'm feeling right now.
No and neither are you. As much as you don't believe you will get through this, you can and will get through this, you are stronger than you think you are. Can you talk to your mum about how you are feeling? I know that you said hospital isn't an option but maybe that's what you need, just a few days to get the help you need and deserve.
i agree that you may need just a little bit of time in hospital to kick start things again for yourself. i know its a hard thing to decide to do or even believe it could help, do you think it is worth a shot?
i understand about not liking them telling you to distract yourself.. that doesnt work for me and i assume it doesnt work for you either especially when your feelings are that intense.
*hugs* your not hopeless.
*Hugs* I know hospital doesn't seem like an option but if you can't keep yourself safe maybe this is what is needed for a bit. Hold on there hun, you will get through this. I am only ever a PM away if you need to talk
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
"sends heaps of cuddles your way"
I hope your feeling a bit better today. Feel free to text me or PM me, my PM box is always open and my mobile is always on.
