i'm in two minds. it might be helpful for people to know how to respond, but to be honest, i think the beauty of a site like this is the diversity of the advice and support given. we come from all different walks of life and have all different points of view. it'd be kind of a shame if we developed this generic way of replying to one another. what is helpful for one person might not be for another, so the best thing to do in my opinion is be sensitive and say what you think. the only responses that i think would be particularly detrimental are those that would encourage someone to stay in a harmful pattern of behaviour, or those that are cruel - neither of which you generally see here.
none of us are therapists and nobody should come here expecting a professional opinion. we are all just people giving what we can. some people will be blunt, others will be gentle, some will give you a pat on the hand and say "there, there", others will tell you when you're being a pain in the bum. it's all good.
i'm in two minds. it might be helpful for people to know how to respond, but to be honest, i think the beauty of a site like this is the diversity of the advice and support given. we come from all different walks of life and have all different points of view. it'd be kind of a shame if we developed this generic way of replying to one another. what is helpful for one person might not be for another, so the best thing to do in my opinion is be sensitive and say what you think. the only responses that i think would be particularly detrimental are those that would encourage someone to stay in a harmful pattern of behaviour, or those that are cruel - neither of which you generally see here.
none of us are therapists and nobody should come here expecting a professional opinion. we are all just people giving what we can. some people will be blunt, others will be gentle, some will give you a pat on the hand and say "there, there", others will tell you when you're being a pain in the bum. it's all good.
By the way, I'm sorry, my previous post didn't mean to be so blunt. I was just running out of time, and I had to rush out :P
Either way, erm, what was I going to say?
Oh yeh, no, with a thread like that, whilst I do totally hear what you're saying, people who can reply to threads can continue to do so quite merrily. It's not like everybody will have to rely on this frame set out. But, it could give those people who are a little more reluctant/unsure on how to reply a push in the right direction, allowing them to have a little more confidence with replying.
And having a standardised sort-of 'please remember we are not professionals and shouldn't be used as a substitute as such' reminder somewhere would be good, too.
There is actually something along these lines in the Mental Health Discussion and Support package, but this goes to show just how many read the stickies, I guess :3
Oh yeh, no, with a thread like that, whilst I do totally hear what you're saying, people who can reply to threads can continue to do so quite merrily. It's not like everybody will have to rely on this frame set out. But, it could give those people who are a little more reluctant/unsure on how to reply a push in the right direction, allowing them to have a little more confidence with replying.
And having a standardised sort-of 'please remember we are not professionals and shouldn't be used as a substitute as such' reminder somewhere would be good, too.
I agree 100% with this.
At various points there has been both "How to get the best replies" information and "how to give the best replies" information. Both of which I think are very helpful for people who may not be sure of what to say or how to say it.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
By the way, I'm sorry, my previous post didn't mean to be so blunt. I was just running out of time, and I had to rush out :P
Either way, erm, what was I going to say?
Oh yeh, no, with a thread like that, whilst I do totally hear what you're saying, people who can reply to threads can continue to do so quite merrily. It's not like everybody will have to rely on this frame set out. But, it could give those people who are a little more reluctant/unsure on how to reply a push in the right direction, allowing them to have a little more confidence with replying.
And having a standardised sort-of 'please remember we are not professionals and shouldn't be used as a substitute as such' reminder somewhere would be good, too.
I remember this thread. I read it when I first went on RYL and it gave me the confidence ot try and reply to people.
I think there were two, but it could have been two replies to the same thread.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
yeah, each case is different. personally, i'm not one for tough love, but i don't come on here for people to tell me, oh yeah, the ED stuff and the SI stuff is TOTALLY normal. I'm fighting. And I come on here to cheer people on, and for people to cheer me on. If my mindset is skewed and I'm in danger without realizing it, I do hope someone will be blunt and say, GO GET HELP. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
It's not rude to say so. There's always a line with being rude and not being rude, and we have to watch that, but we can never normalize behaviors and be like 'oh, that's okay.' on the 'do i have an eating disorder?' questions, i usually don't read those, but I would hope (and knowing our ED board, I know) that people are saying 'well, none of us are qualified to diagnose you or tell you yes or no. You need to see a qualified professional.'
*babble*
I'll look around the CT forums later tonight and see if I can find anything. There is a bunch of informative stuff from V2 stored there.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
yeah, each case is different. personally, i'm not one for tough love, but i don't come on here for people to tell me, oh yeah, the ED stuff and the SI stuff is TOTALLY normal. I'm fighting. And I come on here to cheer people on, and for people to cheer me on. If my mindset is skewed and I'm in danger without realizing it, I do hope someone will be blunt and say, GO GET HELP. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
It's not rude to say so. There's always a line with being rude and not being rude, and we have to watch that, but we can never normalize behaviors and be like 'oh, that's okay.' on the 'do i have an eating disorder?' questions, i usually don't read those, but I would hope (and knowing our ED board, I know) that people are saying 'well, none of us are qualified to diagnose you or tell you yes or no. You need to see a qualified professional.'
*babble*
See this is the problem.
I joined (on my old account) in November 2007. At the time my father had just had a heart attack, i'd been fired from my new job (that i'd been at for like...2? weeks), i had a complete breakdown SH'ing very badly. Despite having had an OD in May 2007 i wasn't referred to CAMHS - infact i didn't even know about them until November when i saw my now GP and he wanted me in for an emergency assessment as i kept dissociating (although i didn't know it was dissociation back then)/shaking/rocking and just generally in a bad state.
I posted on here as i was also having a hard time relationship wise with my mother. I was assigned an Occupational Therapist, saw my GP weekly for meds etc, but i was still in a bad mindset.
One of my what? 4 posts i'd made on here were made in Vets Support. I'd posted everything in there. Anyway, i wrote this long post, and got the most rudest reply from another member basically telling me to get over myself and that "everyone has problems" and to go make the most of the "outside help" (when at the time i was in the process of all the outside help being organised for me / i was settling in with my OT etc) - they went on for quite a while completely bashing me to pieces, and her post ended up getting deleted due to the content of it being horrendously harsh/unnecessary.
Although my case is different because i WAS seeking outside help - or atleast waiting for them to assign me to a psychiatrist/going on meds etc - i needed the emotional support, and the only way i knew how to get that was from posting on here because in some strange way i felt instantly settled here and like i could trust people and i was hoping for others to give me the support i needed. This member didn't support me, but just bashed me completely - and to them, it was there way of giving "tough love" but it actually backfired on them.
This is what i have issues with because i'm still seeing it today although not to the extent where people write abusive essays on what they know of me from a few threads i've made. Just short sharp replies i find rude and unnecessary. If people are going to get frusstrated after reading then just don't comment, i mean, if the tables were turned i'm sure the person dishing out the rudeness wouldn't want it back on them! There's a very fine line between being honest/laying the cards down on the table, and being just downright rude/nasty. And i think people ned to realise that. So i agree with you :)
thanks acrasia, i agree with you. whoever told you to get over yourself wasn't being appropriate. on your last 3 sentences, i'm going yes! It frustrates me when people get downright rude on here. if i would've seen that post you made i wouldn't have endorsed you Siing/told you it was ok (i would honestly kind of figure you'd know???) but i would've offered to listen or something.
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