I'm sick of being brought back to this because of you.
I'm sick of feeling second best.
I'm sick of being there and having you throw it all back in my face.
I know you meant what you text luce today.
I'm not stupid, i know you too well to know it wasn't a fake text.
Your lucky it was april fools because she believed it.
I can't believe you'd be annoyed when all she did was care.
I know you have a problem with food, but we don't. So let us be ourselves.
I try to help you.
You wont let me.
It's not like i've ever stopped trying.
I notice every time.
But your bringing me down to the point where i feel like s.harming.
I just wish you'd realise the effect you have on others.
I really ****ing do.
Be aware you're not the only one struggling.
I love you to pieces, but please open your eyes to see you're not the only person in the universe.
"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay"
I'm sorry I was horrible, even if you didn't realise I was. The guilt is eating away at me because of it, even though it wasn't anything that bad. And you said sorry, you didn't have to, it wasn't your fault mum.
If only you knew how I'm really feeling. I know you're really happy with the new happy laughing, joking me but it's just a front. Deep down, I feel like I always did. I wish I could tell you. I'm so so sorry
1-I am so sorry i cant tell you. i want to. i really do. but i know it will hurt you, and i'm not strong enough to see you like that. No matter how much i tell you it's not your fault you will still blame yourself. I can't put you through that. But i need you. I'm sure that one day you will find out. I just want you to know the reason i have hidden it from you for so long is not because i think you'll be angry or disapointed with me. I know you'll be supportive. But i also know that you will never forgive yourself for not being able to stop it. There is nothing you can do, so why bring you down with me.
I hope you understand.
2- Thank you so much. I cant even begin to tell you how much you have helped. I dont think you realise how much you mean to me. You don't need to do anything, so please stop worrying. If i need you, i promise i will tell you. You've already done more than you know. Just please, please don't give up on me...it's hard, but i think i can get there....just give me time.
Thank you for being able to look me in the eye.
I do remember saying I love you.
I do remember kissing you.
I do remember everything else despite the fact I couldn't keep my eyes open.
But you need to sort yourself out.
I can't and won't go through it all again.
I'm not taring you with the same brush as him.
But I need someone who can be strong for me.
Right now I'm being more like a mother than a friend to you.
It's not fair on either of us.
I can't wait forever though, and you know I can't afford to come down all the time.
It's upto you now.
you told me you was gonna come over last night. i told you that i slipped up and you told me that you would coe over to help me feel better. even if we didnt talk or anything just knowing you where there with me would have been enough. but i waited and waited. i was awake until 4am this morning waiting. and you didnt come. you didnt even have the guts to text me to say sorry. and you STILL havent text to tell me why you didnt show.
i slipped up again last night. because of you. because you just left me there when you promised me you'd be around. you have NO idea how crap that has made me feel. and the stupid thing is, i text you about half hour ago to say that im sorry if i have offended you in anyway. you havent text back.
and i dont think you will either.
and i'll sit there on my bed tonight at 4am, and do exactly the same thing as i did last night.
and for the exact same reason too.
**** i hate myself.
but i hate you more.
~*DoNt LeT ThE ShAdOwS ReAcH Me*~
~*The Only Time You Will See Success Before Work Is in The Dictionary*~
I've got an inferiority complex. But it's not a very good one.
☆★ I am not ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby when L closed his eyes for the last time.
RIP Ryuzaki. <3 ★☆
I'm falling, but I'm too scared to tell you .. when I get to Weight Watchers tonight I know I will have put on and when I get home you will give me "that" look - you asked me to marry you when I was 19st 6 why do you get so disappointed when I don't lose weight - I thought you loved me for me not how I look - you're just like the rest of them and I don't know what to do ....
I miss you all so much. I'm sorry I haven't been able to text you back. I honestly don't know why I can't. I guess I just have to be on my own, no matter how much that hurts.
I think....I love you?
It started off...as...something small...
and the more i got to know you...the bigger it got...
And the more you try to tell me you're no good...
the more determined i am...
because...lets be honest...
I'm hardly any good myself am i?
I sit here and wait for you to appear...coz you make me smile...
i..know i probably shouldnt...but i'll wait for you...
I want you to see...Im not LIKE other girls...
I know what you said about the past...
but you're the only guy I've ever really trusted...
ever really understood...and felt like you understood me...
You're the only guy ive ever really felt comfortable around...
When i'm with you...theres no acts...no masks or walls to hide behind..
Im just ME...
and its a massive relief...
I just wish you could see that =[
please, im begigng you, please care about me. please. just for a little while. i'll see you tommorow, please say something, anything. i did message you in the end, and you ignored everything i said, and jsut told me the pics were up. please, dont leave me on my own.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
I never intended to keep that promise, no I won't tell you when it happens, and yes I will enjoy it. Quit trying to micromanage my life. You're my best friend, I love you to death, but you need to mind your own business. No ever said you had to do it if I did. I want this more than I ever have. I want him to know me like that. I know what I'm doing. So does he.
1- im so jelous of you and thats why i cannot be the friend that you deserve. I hate you for having everything, i hate that everybody loves you and ignores me, i hate that you have always are always and will always be better than me. I am angry at you for this. But i know that you deserve everything that you have. And that it is horrible of me to hate you for being better than me. So i hate myself for it instead.
I cant be as good as you want me to be, i am not strong, i am not kind, but please dont leave me alone. And please dont pretend things are ok when you know that they arent and im too afraid to bring it up.
2- you really hurt me. and i dont know if i should try or not. Is it worth the risk?
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