Just as things couldn't get worse... The blurry line between real and not is getting blurrier by the minute, what happens when it disapears? Do I get stuck 'there'?
Eep
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
What do you do when is seems like your insider(s) is/are taking over?
Seems like there's no time for me anymore... it's always MandaLynn or Karen (mostly little MandaLynn)
I know I need some out time too, but it is getting harder and harder to "control" who is out when.
I am constantly finding evidence of them being out (toys scattered around or coloring and crayons out from MandaLynn...
or *gulp* bloody knives and such from Karen)
How can I start to take back control?
Is it even possible with alters and dissociation?
We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
i think i was dissociating this morning at my mental health clinic. i wasn't very aware of what's going on. I hate it when I do that, because professionals i'm talking to (whether it be the nurse or the food stamps person) think I'm stupid or not paying attention when really i can't concentrate on what they're saying cause i'm experiencing a dissociation so bad.
Dissociated at therapists yesterday. No idea who came out, but it seems we finished the session early. Scared as to what happened.
Damn it. I wish I knew more about our system. All the info I've got isn't helpful in bad situations, and Xander still won't tell me why Rae is scared of baths.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
there's no where to go...
can't hide and can't run...
feel so hopeless and worthless....
and the calling...
if there is anything i can do. just name it. if i can do it i will. if i can get in the way of the pull, i am with you. the bas**rds wont get you if i can help it
*raises hand* another with major dissociative distress. Been blanking out a lot, although going through major issues in lafe plus trying to shift round to dealing with past trauma. Ha. Oh well. Been dealing with this, or DX for almost 4 yrs. WoW.
Just wanted to say hi.
Am
"I'm the slow dying flower/ in the frost killing hour/ sweet turning sour/ and untouchable"
"You've gotta stand for something/ or you'll fall for anything"
"And don't apologize/ For all the tears you've cried/ You've been way too strong now for all your life"
emily, why did emily have to die?
that was when we split properly - when we realised she was dead and never coming back... that's when charlie came up and spoke to my boyfriend - thats when it all got too real and too scary
we dont feel like we can make it through the night
stupid scheming horrible lara brought lottie up so she could get drunk, because she can drink fast. but it's cruel, because she's only little, so she was sick. now we're all angry and triggered and crying. dont know if i'm going to be here tomorrow
I kind of feel like I don't belong in this thread. I don't know much about my alters except for what I find written down, which is barely anything, and I never know who has been out or anything. I am never co conscious. Just huge blanks every day. I don't know. I don't know what goes on inside the system. I'm so confused about everything - even as to where I fit in on a website. Wow. I'm pathetic.
i wish i didnt know as much of what went on, but i think it might be worse to have so many blackouts. i see most of whats going on, just like its on tv or in a book so theres nothing i can do about it.
i know whats going on i just cant stop it
*is useless*
*hides*
facet im so sorry i would never normally ask but could i maybe PM you or something? i.... i hate how im feeling right now i dont see myselkf making it til morning
thanks maya :) and the 'no pun intended' part made me giggle
we're sorry for being a little selfish. we're new-ish on this thread and we launched straight in but were too anxious/ timid to offer much support on Mental Health generally. so were sorry.
and yes divine5wilderness. I'm waiting for an evaluation but I might not be confirmed DID for a long time, although I'm hoping I will be :) it doesnt make a difference to what's going on inside your head
Bobbiwib- at least I'm not alone... after registering the first post was a trigger post about crisis. Not even a hello. Glad it was funny to you- and don't think that is selfish, just jumping in.
"I'm the slow dying flower/ in the frost killing hour/ sweet turning sour/ and untouchable"
"You've gotta stand for something/ or you'll fall for anything"
"And don't apologize/ For all the tears you've cried/ You've been way too strong now for all your life"
*nods* ive been on here since 2005.. old times, old account!
even now i mainly stick to abuse-and-bullying though cos people know me there
i keep trying to stop coming on RYL cos it tends to trigger me, but whenever i do THAT it means i'm only online when im at crisis-point which makes me feel v bad
how are you? WHERE are you? ^_^ if you're UK its pretty early
Well today aint going well, I remember waking up, then I was in the shower. I dont remember getting in the shower! messed up messed up messed up messed up.
gah!
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
