Good idea! Although I suppose a plan involving services needs to be agreed with them.
Yep in therapy, had therapy today actually. She's very good but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. As far as I can tell she thinks I'm making progress, not sure why.
defintely, but its good to draft one yoursef first so you have something to go on because in my experience, it can take a while for them to get started on stuff lke this so you could be like, i cam e up with this, what do you think? to your cc or whoever :)
why dont you ask her so ou know where you stand?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Skin is actually slightly calmer today YAY! So I didn't bother getting an emergency appointment. Plus I was in bed until like 1pm. My mum is freaking out about how I am, she thinks I'm really bad and doesn't want me to overdose. I have no immediate plans but it's inevitable that I will od. She spoke to mh team and Brigid. I can feel an admission coming on (again) but I really don't want that. Brigid won't take my meds off me so it's up to me what I do.
Yeah, I don't feel in control. It's so hard to undo plans once they're there. I get really obsessive about it and if I don't follow through with the plan then urges would get worse and I end up doing something much worse than an od. It feels like a preventative measure. Dunno.
Perhaps in therapy you could bring up about ways to just sit with your urges and get through them. I find mindfulness helpful in sitting through urges.
I used to overdose multiple times a week. And now with the skills I have learnt it is a much more rare occurrence. So it is possible to make that progress yourself.
Do you think it's because people are expecting you to OD that you are finding it difficult not to go down that route?
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Yeah I don't really know what it is. Just spoke to my mum (who is driving me a bit mental) and she was saying about recognising a crisis before it happens so you are prepared. She said other people don't respond in the early stages and that I'm used to people only caring when I'm bad, which is true. Why would I be bothered about things when I'm only struggling a bit even if it's going to lead to something worse? Doesn't it make more sense to just be bothered when you've actually done something?
I find when people are expecting me to fall, it's so easy to just go "well they think I can't cope and will fail, so I won't cope", whereas you could take a different stance on it and challenge yourself to prove them all wrong and show them you are stronger than they give you credit for.
For instance recently I sadly had to go to a family friends funeral. Which meant my dad was going to be there (huge trigger). At first I was like I'm going to end up falling apart, this as because my care team believed if I went to it and saw him (after 6 years no contact because of SA) I would relapse massively. However I decided you know what I'm gonna prove them all wrong. And you know whilst I did have a big panic attack seeing him, I managed to calm down and cope with the day. And I have not relapsed.
You need to try and be mindful of when you are taking a dip, so that you can prevent it from getting to the point of crisis. It is part of taking responsibility for your own well-being.
Have you ever done a WRAP? (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
It may be useful for you to do one.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I really don't have a clue. Professionals and my mum are worried. I think there's talk of inpatient. My cpn said the od I'm planning on taking would probably kill me. My mum wants me in hospital. I just saw my cpn and cried a bit. I never cry. I was only all hyper last night! You would think after all these years of people putting me in hospital I would have got it into my head that people want me alive. My cpn said I seem more confused than normal with less direction, or something.
I don't want to be in hospital! I've spent enough time in that place. It's not going to help me long term, it's just going to cause me more issues. I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I don't really see anything wrong with overdosing. Apart from the aftermath. If I die, then I die, maybe it's time!!
I'm
Trashed. I'm a shut oerson in so many ways. Staff are alseep. Don't know what to do. Have pills everywhere/ logical conflation is i should od but I HARE HOSPITALS.
Wat do u think hospital will do for u apart from taking responsibility away from u which u need to have to learn how to cope with these urges uv got more support at brigad than u wud ever have on hospital so utilise it
So you don't want to be in hospital, you know people are worried and considering hospital so you drink and might OD?
How is that in any way going to keep you out of hospital?
You know that someone will end up finding out and you'll go to a&e and people will be worried again.
Why not talk to the staff? You're in supported housing. Supported, for support.
And do they let you drink there anyway?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
