support for katie - when.will.it.end

[when.will.it.end]

Yep thanks got an emergency gp appointment in a bit.

[when.will.it.end]

Being sent to surgical assessment unit

[Cacoethes]

hope it goes ok!

[when.will.it.end]

Thanks. It's really busy. Gona be waiting hours, I'm irritable as hell

[Wonderland.]

Have you got anything with you to help keep you occupied whilst you wait?

[when.will.it.end]

Tv is on. Got iPod with me as well but nothing to read. Hurts a lot anyway. Feel like hysterically crying.

[Wonderland.]

How did it go last night?

[when.will.it.end]

It's been horrific. The pain kept me from passing out but when it calmed down I lost 8 hours straight. I've just woke up. Was meant to be discharged last night but left the ward, got a few metres and collapsed. So they brought be back and admitted me. Pain killers have helped a bit but it's still hurting. Tests are clear but they're doing a scan on outpatient. waiting for ex to come and pick me up and attempt to get me back to Brigid tonight. Will prob pass out but if he's there we avoid ambulances and a&e. And I woke up to blood all over the sheets from my eczema. It's in bits.

[Wonderland.]

I hope the outpatient scan proves to be helpful.

I think if they manage to get your physical health under control then it will help your general well-being.

[when.will.it.end]

Yeah very true.

I made it back without passing out. Hell yeah! Going to have a shower and put bandages on because my skin is killing. Brigid kicked the ex out :( telling me it's company policy or whatever. I could do with him here but rules are rules. Sigh.

[Wonderland.]

Be careful in the shower in case you pass out.

Can you perhaps meet up with him tomorrow and go to a cafe or something?

[when.will.it.end]

Yeah was worried about that too but made it out without passing out!

Yeah will do. So grateful to have made it home without ending up back at a&e or on some random surgical ward.

[Wonderland.]

Glad to hear you got through without passing out.

How is today going?

[when.will.it.end]

It's going ok thanks.

The pain has calmed down. I've been alseep all afternoon and think it helped. I ordered take away cos there's nothing here for me to eat and I'm starving! I have a shit ton of painkillers which I'm not overdosing on. Hmm.

[when.will.it.end]

I'm sorry to bump.

I'm struggling a bit. My mum is really upset with how things are with me and wants me in hospital before I od. I haven't self harmed in over a week which is a miracle. I was in a&e again this afternoon after passing out. I'm exhausted with everything. I know she only a cares but it's tiring. I'm tired. I don't know what to do.

[Cacoethes]

my mum used to jump to the IP solution alll the time when I was younger!
Have you tried explaning to her that it doesnt really solve anything? Like its better to work through stuff?
Communication is key!

[when.will.it.end]

Yeah I'm trying. She's pretty upset though.

and I think she knows to be honest. She's seen me in a cycle of in and out but I think she's essentially scared that the next od will kill me. I suppose she has a point but this has gone on for so long that I'm beyond caring. I have no energy for it all anymore. Excuse all the woeness!

[Cacoethes]

yeah well clearly she cares and wants you to be safe, but althoug hospital keeps you safe it doesn t sort out the issues which keep coming back and I know you know this so might be worth having a proper chat about it?

i did with my mum and she got it eventually!

[when.will.it.end]

Yeah. I think she knows tbh. She's just scared. I don't have a clue how to tackle it all. It's all so complicated and certain things in my life can't be changed (eczema, flashbacks, passing out). I think she's angry I don't have a crisis plan.

[Cacoethes]

they cant be changed but they can be managed, it's just getting the skills to do it and getting the right medical help for eczema dn passing out which youre doing which i good! you in anny therapy atm?

you could always makek your own crisis plan! :)