Carri just text me to say, I aint should be drinking wine, I text her back to say I was okay and fine, and she text back this........I don't care, one day you wont be okay, your so unresponsible, its unbelievable....
What the fuk do I say to that, I am fukkin fine, what the fuk is she on?
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I didn't bother hiding my cuts/steris etc when my housemate came into my room before (I let her in). Maybe she will realise that things are difficult despite my appearance etc and that I am trying
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Hollz - That sounds a difficult situation to handle. It sounds like she is concerned but perhaps what she said isn't the right way to go about it! If you don't feel able to text her back anything now, would she mind you leaving it til tomorrow.
Carrie - Yep they definitely can. Thank you for being so lovely :) I hope your housemate realises things aren't so great for you right now. Appearances can be so deceptive! It's great that you are trying. Here for you if you ever want to chat.
Ooh I'll be here to rant tomorrow afternoon hehe. Got ward round on the psych ward, even though I'm not in-patient I have to go and see the consultant every week but yuck, I hate it -They have 12 people in a room firing questions like a job interview.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
hi guys... hope you all got through the night safely
i eventually got off to sleep... think the loraz helped
i don't know how i feel this morning
i got up early thinking i would go to work
but i've got urges again
part of me wants to turn up at docs and say 'help me'
but they won't do anything
i feel like i need to do something..
well I've never joined this thread cos I thought it was for something I didn't have. Appears that I have been particularly naive and I do have a "label". Great.
Bad day today, lots of triggers and just trying to get through the night pretty much in one piece.
Hi to all on here, though most of you will be sleeping by now.
Charl ~ It's great you got through the night. I think your Doctor would try to help you and I don't think they'd mind at all you asking for help. Thinking of you.
Joanie ~ Hey, welcome :) Hope you manage to get through the night safely. Hugs.
Cheryl ~ Thank you. Hope your DBT goes well.
Carrie ~ Hope you enjoy your bath. Yay for sunshine! Sure it will be nice to get out for a walk and enjoy it!
I'm in a complete panic about going to ward round. I'm really tempted to ring them and say that I don't want/feel able to go. I know that sounds really pathetic. I get so wound up by it and I'm trying to tell myself that I shouldn't avoid things just because of anxiety but then on the other hand, I'm wondering why I'm going to something that has no benefits for me (I go in for like 2 minutes to see the doctor and don't talk because of anxiety so it's my fault) but is winding me up like this. Hm, sorry for the whinge! x
Aww hun, hope your ward round goes ok. Maybe before the next one you could prepare a note or something so that you get to say what you want to or need to.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Welcome to the thread Charl and Joanie xx
Hope everyone is ok xx
I now have no therapy next week because of my harming last night. Why they are taking this stance with me god only knows. Im sure if i didnt have that pressure on me then i wouldnt be so bad. If i harm next week then that session is cancelled too.
Im beginning to think that i would be better off on my own without the help of therapists and doctors....i may cancel next weeks doctors appointment and that will be the start of me doing things my way and on my own
****!! why are they doing this to me.....what have i done to them except to be their patient. I pay alot of money to see my therapist, i dont expect to be bullied like this. i thought i would get tenderness and understanding...empathy, but like ****....not yesterday that was a whole different ball game. I do wonder if the two of them have been talking because i know she sent my doctor a letter to say how hard things were with both of them pulling me in different directions and now she is doing what my doctor is..it bribery and ultimatums .....well it aint going to work.
