Ella is the host so she is out most of the time we have tryed to eat but she comes back out and purges or she self injures as punishment if we eat for her
its got to the point were we have to agree that she will not purge if we eat up to a set amount that is really low cals and she wont purge or cut
but if we go back on it then she will go back to the purgeing and cutting
only thing is, diagnoses can often be wrong (i.e. a '92 meta analysis of 10,000s of initial diagnoses found less than 1in5 were accurate) so i'd encourage folks to arm themselves with knowledge from reliable resources if they receive one
Marko,
For a start, this may not be something you will suffer from forever.
Our experience is different, given it being full-blown DID) and there is a possibility that this is something we will live with for the rest of our life.
But from our (ongoing) experience of derealization and depersonalization, there are ways to combat it, lots of grounding techniques etc. Which I'm sure you've heard before, but they do help quite a lot.
Though they are the kinds of things you need to practice to get good at. It helps even more if you practice and them when you aren't experiencing the distress/depersonalization/derealization, so that you find it easier to employ later when in real need....
only thing is, diagnoses can often be wrong (i.e. a '92 meta analysis of 10,000s of initial diagnoses found less than 1in5 were accurate) so i'd encourage folks to arm themselves with knowledge from reliable resources if they receive one
that's quite true (what scarily high statistics). perhaps it would be better to say, accept your difficulties and learn to live alongside them and work towards getting better if that's possible.
maybe you shold go back and ask what it means.
but heres my take on diognoses basicly the only use they have is as an instuction so the doctor can treat you.
i know it might feel comfoting to have a name for what ure going through but at the end of the day it wont help you get better.
sometimes you can become what you read.so let ure dr explain it but dont read to much stuff on your own
I only heard of this illness a week ago so I'm learning still. Could anyone point me in the direction of these grounding methods? I've been stuck in this dream world as long as I remember, I don't know any different but I want to.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
Hi Marko I have suffered from similar stuff. There are a number of things you can try but you need to experiment and find out what works for you and what doesn't. Becoming aware of all that is around you really noticing the light the sounds the smells etc. Having a smell you really like that you can smell when the world seems unreal. For me it's a lemon smell. Having something to touch that is sometimes helpful. Holding an ice cube works or flicking an elastic band worn round your wrist. Scrunching your toes and really focussing on how it feels can be very grounding too. I hope you can experiment with these and see if any of them are helpful for you. Some help me some don't. Popping bubble wrap is one of my favourites but that could just be me being strange. I have found that the more you use these the more quickly it's possible to become grounded but that is just my experience and everyone is different but I don't have symptoms as much now as I used to. Let me know if any of this is unclear.
Shadow. Welcome, poke your nose in any time!
When we go inside we can either go to our inner world, or are just in nothingness. It depends (for us) whether the switch is chosen or not. I think there are other components too that effect whether or not we go "inside" or just experience blankness. We aren't sure what they all are though.
It's different for every system.... Why do you ask?
I hate it when I dissociate. It's so unnerving. I still don't know why I do it. I don't have DID or anything, it's more the depersonalization thing. But I seem to be doing it more and more and it's like I can't concentrate and I feel like I'm floating. And my memory is bad. Anyone else feel like this? I feel like one of the above posters, does this have to last forever? hell, i didn't even know i was doing it until it was pointed out to me! i almost wish it had never been pointed out as crazy as that might sound.
divine5wilderness... nee idea if this lasts forever, I hope not.
I think im in a slightly different boat to most, no multiple persoanlities here, no occasional derealization or occasional depersonalization, for me its 24/7. its living hell.
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
Hey Eclectric*a, I think you should be really proud of managing do come through it and take control, it's such a hard thing to do, and I think you did really well. Remember that Vetis is fighting means the illness is feeling threatened, it's a good sign because it shows you're doing really well. Sorry I'm not making much sense right now, but I will come back and clarify later.
--
Why must this illness be so bloody embarassing? I get dissociative anaesthesia or whatever you want to call it, and today it was my legs in the middle of the reception area at my cmht. I was literally on my knees in the middle of it crying because I couldn't feel my legs or get them to walk, in front of loads of other patients and the receptionist and in the end they had to get my CPN out to come and help me. Thank God she didn't react and make me stay in, they got me home, but it's just so humiliating feeling so weak, useless and vulnerable in front of everyone. :(
thats horrible i've had that in my arms once or twice but not for very long and nothing worse :(
shadow - for me it's kind of like... water, black water. because there used to be bad flashbacks down there and and it was when the bad person 'dragged me under' the water. i generally know what's going on but its more like i'm watching it on tv or reading about it
we're not good today.. yesterday we were meant to kill ourselves but we overslept. we are stupid and suitably embarrassed... lara feels like.... she's in my skin. lottie is close to the centre but lara is moving out - i dont know if she means to. lottie was in charge yesterday. i was such a wreck, and all of tonight.. none of us could do it so it was the 10 year old girl who fed us and cleaned us and put on our favourite films.. i feel so ashamed i am the oldest and nearly twice her age and it's MY body so i should be closest to the centre... but i'm not...
Well for as long as I can remember there's been the 'inner world' that I can go to... but I was unaware of the others who were there too. Then I found out about three others, and we've been working together for a couple of years. I've only just started to find out about the rest.
But it means I don't have memory blanks, per se - I go inside and do tasks in there, not 'things go blank until the next time I front'. I wondered if anyone else experienced this, hence the question. =)
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
