Food counter lady: What is that on your arm? Is that a scar?!
Then proceeds to tell me issue with scars and her discussions with her doctor.
(I am feeling defensive and wishing she would just cash my meal).
The therapist in me wants to discuss scar massage and putty that can flatten scar etc; mental health survivor in me wants to run.
I do not hide my scars. I am trying to get better. But this is part of my struggle. I give her a vague comment about it is just how our body heals. I have another one from a car accident so I know I am right.
Then pay for meal and sit down.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I think the worst one I ever got was from my dad (who abused me)
" you're a whore and you only do this for attention. Well guess what. Nobody f**king cares."
Thanks dad...
Nt self harm exactly, but my mu had a friend whose daughter attwmpted suicide several times, and she was talking to me about it
"and i think she might have meant it, there wasnt anyone home of anything"
Like, probably she did then.... She really doesnt get that kind of stuff
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
A "friend" today
"You need to snap out of it"
"You will walk out of this room a different person, and you'll never hurt yourself again, because that's just ****ing stupid and crazy, and it's not you"
"promise me you won't"
:/ eurgh
~ Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything ~
"Well there's no reason to hurt yourself"
Actually, apparently there is...
I am more than you know, streetlights and open roads, I am more than a face stuck living in one place. So call me California, call me what you will, because I am bigger than this place, and so far from alone. I don't believe in your hate, because these scars are gunna fade, so pour me out like water and soak me up like rain. Like a runaway, I spend these nights counting stars, like a runaway. And maybe I could call this home tonight?
'well, funnily enough, I don't believe you, people like you lie, and I believe you have something, whether you lie and tell me you don't or not' from a nurse who believed I had a tool to hurt myself with, even though I was honest to the expense of having to wear a bloody nightie. Strip searched twice. >_>
She wasn't a bad person though, and I suppose (not in a horrible way) but a lot of people who self harm (myself included) lie in order to do so... I think it was just the abruptness of the situation and the way it was said.
~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
When one of my friends noticed my cuts, he said, "Are you going all emo on us now?" I ended up telling him about everything the next week, but it still hurt. I guess he kinda has a right to joke about it though, since he used to cut too and understands. Still....he didn't have to and shouldn't have said that....
Last edited by Japan_Freak : 25-05-2012 at 04:37 AM.
Reason: Annoying typo
---
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say,
"oh~~~~oh
I know the sun must set to rise"
This could be para, para, paradise.
I will never forget the reaction of one of my teachers in high school when she saw scars on my chest:
Teacher: "What is THAT!" (pointing at me)
Me: "Ehh.. "
Teacher: "Did you get attacked by a wild animal!?"
Luckily my friend was standing next to me and made me laugh by saying:
"More like her inner animal."
The worst thing was today, I walked into the bakery at culinary school to hear my group discussing my arms, and the worst part was that the one who was doing all the talking was a girl who I thought was a good friend. But after she started saying that I needed a camera in my room so people can make sure I don't do it again and that I need to go to a doctor about it, she makes me feel so bad about myself.
I guess it wasn't really said to my face, except the camera and doctor part, but it still really hurt, I ended up walking out in tears and unable to explain what was wrong :/
Another girl with mental health issues: "Why do you cut yourself? I don't cut myself and I have Bipolar so why do you cut yourself?"
Me: "You probably don't do it because you have more healthy ways of dealing with your emotions."
Her: "I've overdosed. Have you overdosed?"
Me: "Yes,I have. A few times."
Her: "Oh..."
I didn't realize this was a competition as to who has the worst coping mechanism!
Family doctor: "Whoa! You've really mutilated your arms. You know people are going to ask about those for the rest of your life. You know you're going to have to explain that to your kids, right?"
Friend's mom who knows: "No more cutty-cut, okay? I know about urges. You just have to stop. Knit or something to keep your hands busy. That'll help."
Cutty-cut? Yeah... Okay.
Friend, after she found out I was hurting myself with an object that is readily available and of which she had many in her car: "I'm going to count the *objects* now so I know if you steal any of them. I'm not taking responsibility for giving you something you can hurt yourself with. God, maybe I should count the *tool* and *tool* to make sure you haven't taken any of those either."
Some girl: "You'd be a lot prettier if you weren't covered in disgusting scars. You should really do something about that, like... now."
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
While I was out in some woods on saturday, out hacking on the pony i share. I thought since its normally quiet to roll my sleeves up well I was walking pass this couple and the woman said ' Did you see that girls arm?!'
I thought I'd finally found a bikini that covered up the vast majority of my scars and was feeling pretty comfortable about it, until my mother walked past me sunbathing and went with an accompanying look of disdain "Euugh you're covered in so many horrible marks, its disgusting"
Then to top it all off I was explaining this to my close friend who is generally pretty good with this stuff to have her go "If you don't want her to say it, you should just stop".. wow I thought you even slightly understood what this was like for a minute, sorry, obviously not if you think its that easy..
'No commiting suicide' A friend said this after seeing scars on my upper arms. Just cuz ya cut doesn't mean you wanna die, that's been my biggest pet peeve
'Why are you cutting? It's not like you have any reason to.' Nah you're right, i'm just doing this for the kicks and giggles of it all
For some death by cuteness click here ---> http://cuteoverload.com/
"When you can't run you crawl, When you can't crawl, You find someone to carry you." ~Firefly
"Life cannot ever really defeat a writer who is in love with writing, for life itself is a writer's lover until death - fascinating, cruel, lavish, warm, cold, treacherous, constant." ~ Edna Ferber
"I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotion." ~ James Michener
^^^That reminds me. When I was at CAMHS my cpn and I had a debate about that. That she said its a risk at that I might try to commit suicide that she cant take. I said just because I sh doesn't mean I will try to end my life. She said there was a link between sh and suicide. I was like but that doesnt mean I will! She ended up saying ' But there is a link between people who self harm and people will end there lives lauren, theres a strong link' I stopped myself otherwise hell would have broke loose and I nearly was swearing at her
By my dad: so you want to kill yourself?
Me: cutting doesn't mean I exactly want to kill myself at that time. It's a way to release my pain.
Dad: pain? What pain. Your like a boy that called wolf too many times.
At mental ward: your so intelligent and your so you , you have your whole future ahead of you!
Gah thanks for that.
Also at mental ward.
Me trying to s/h in my room
Nurse: hand it over NOW!
Me: hand what over...
Nurse: the *object*. Your actually ridiculous. Your trying to cut instead of focusing on your recovery.
Woah really? You think I want to be an IP at the moment? Fml. It's like the only way I know how to cope :(
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
