that's good =] I always love it when there's a message on a bible passage or story that's had a big impact on my life. It's as if God is saying, 'yup. still here.' <3
If I had to pick the psalm that means the most to me, it would probably be a toss up between 131, 34, 63, 73, 123, 147, and 84...lol =] I love 131, though it's one that isn't widely discussed. People tend to avoid it, but I think it's beautiful and uncomplicated.
51 was particularly helpful to me with my SI and the guilt that came with it. Actually, I think I'll post it below so you can all read. Particularly Claire, if you're still around?
psalm 51, tNIV
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from bloodguilt, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
I like 131, 73 and 63... although i'm not really familiar with the others you like.
I also like 13, 30, 31, 119, 130, 27, 43, 46, 8... lots of others. lol. The one that was helpful to me when quitting SI was psalm 77. It really describes what went on that night.
"I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned; I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak."
Psalm 77:1-4 [TNIV]
I can't remember the exact figure, but it's like when that guy who stood up in a convention infront of lots of vicars and said 30,000 children die a day from hunger and you don't give a **** and I bet you are all more offended about the fact I said **** than the fact that many children die. Sometimes you need a big kick to realise how twisted a situation is and I think that's what you were doing/could do.
that was one of my youth pastor's heroes Tony Campolo
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
A couple years ago I wrote a short story about self injury for my english class. When she handed it back, my english teacher had written on it,"Effective and powerful style. As for your topic, I once heard a preacher say that we don't have to cut ourselves and bleed because He already did that for us."
Idk why i suddenly thought of that... Just thought I'd share.
Last edited by healingraine : 19-07-2008 at 11:07 PM.
Reason: I'm a bit ocd about spelling!
i have been going through my bible,
underlining and putting stars by things that strike me.
"God, if i've done what they say -
betrayed my friends,
ripped off my enemies --
if my hands are really that dirty,
let them get me, walk all over me,
leave me flat on my face in the dirt."
psalm 7:3-5
spanish-lullabies : that's wonderful! :D once you form the habit, it gets easier (heh, something I'm sure we all know well, right? =P ). keep going with that. i think you'll find that it really helps, with everything.
yeah, it's just whenever i'm reminded of things that i used to do and am ashamed about, i pray about it.
whenever something happens that makes me want to SI, i pray about it.
whenever something good happens and i wish it would happen again, i pray about it.
it's not as hard as i thought it would be, but it takes some getting used to.
i've realized i really need to give it all up to turn to Him...
Hey guys. This is going to be a huge post, just to let you know. I went to the Steubenville East youth conference, and I experienced a lot there, and I feel that I must share it, since I was a witness of God's power, as this year's theme for the conference was.
Friday when I arrived at the La Salette Shrine, I was sort of a skeptic that this would change me at all, but I decided that it would be a good idea to go in with an open heart, for I am desprate to be healed of my wrongs. And boy did I have a good time.
Friday night, I experienced my first round of Adoration, to say the least it was amazing and enlightening, I couldn't help it, I was crying as I felt the Holy Spirit work through me, to help me keep my tiring arms lifted as I praised the names of Lord Jesus and God in song. The speakers kept talking about how we needed to drop all of our baggage that we were carrying as we walked in and leave it with Jesus, and praise him. As we all were told, I forget the exact reading that this is from, but we were told over and over again that when the Holy Spirit came upon us, we would be given power and made God's witnesses.
God gave me the power to go back to confession after it being a year plus since my last one, and the power to not be afraid to pray and ask his forgiveness.
One of the things that I asked God personally while I started praying was for God to show me a sign that my mother was up in heaven and she was there, and about halfway into the ceremony, it started to thunder out, then it started to downpour. I feel that this was God telling me that my mother was up there, and she is watching over me with pride in her eyes. As we evacuated the tent to head for the nearby church, I was crying and praising God for giving me this sign, and for hearing my cries.
God had been waiting for me all this time to come back to him, and not struggle with my faith because of what has happened around me in the last few years. And finally this Steubenville conference has given me the strength to go back, and state and ask God to lift my sorrow.
I feel that one of the psalms that one of my group shared during a small group session yesterday describes how God has been to me, never absent in my life, no matter what
O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
[Psalm 139]
Last edited by TheSuffererComplex : 21-07-2008 at 01:16 AM.
Hi. I just stumbled across this thread, and it seemed like what I need right now. I've recently been strengthening my faith after a period of disbelief and then just plain doubt. Now I'm working on becoming secure in my faith and learning more about it.
Also, I am a recovering cutter. I've been clean for over a year, but recently I've been struggling with the urge again. I've been wondering how SI works in with what God wants from me, and I was hoping maybe someone would have some advice.
I hope I'm not intruding on the thread.
Thanks and God bless,
~Crash
Though your sins are as red as blood, they will be whiter than snow or wool --Isaiah 1:18
Sorrow may last through the night, but joy will come in the morning --Psalm 30:5
First of all, you are definitely NOT intruding here. We are always glad to add one to the family--and you are family, because we have the same Father.
I want to encourage you to get to know God. So many times people encounter religion and find nothing worthwhile in it, and then dismiss God as well. But God and religion aren't even close to the same thing. If your disbelief was caused by seeing religion, then no wonder! There is a God beyond the empty words that one often hears on sunday mornings. Look for him, and he will reach out and show himself to you.
Congratulations on over one year! There are times when all of us struggle. That's part of what faith means. I don't know how you've heard that word used before, but what it really means is 'trust'. And there is a definite connection between trusting God and not harming yourself. I believe, from what I've seen, that christians who hurt themselves haven't yet learned to trust God (please don't think i'm judging anyone--I'm here too, remember?). We are afraid of the best thing ever. We know, intellectually, that Jesus died on the cross for us, but our hearts have a hard time accepting that. Sometimes we don't even realize that we don't truly believe with everything we are. Many times we have been hurt deeply, and learned that it isn't okay to trust, or to care about someone else, because we'll get hurt. faith means that even when you're afraid, you choose to act on what you believe--that God loves you and won't hurt you. For many, not cutting is an act of faith. It is saying, "I believe that Jesus shed his blood on the cross so that I don't have to shed mine. And I will demonstrate my trust that god has not lied to me, that he can meet all my needs, by not hurting myself in an attempt to meet those needs for myself." It's hard, and everyone slips up at some point. If it's not self-harm, we slip up in another area of our lives. Complete, total trust--what Jesus called faith like a child--is hard. Some days, it feels impossible. For some of us, it is harder than others. If you have been hurt, like I have, like many of us have, it is hard. It's harder than it is for many other people, and sometimes that doesn't seem fair. But God knows us inside and out, and he measures our gifts to him by what they cost us. To him, trust that hurts to give from a broken heart is worth SO much...the first time he explained to me how deeply he treasured my broken heart, i couldn't stop crying for hours. this world teaches us that we are worthless, that we don't matter...but the price of an object is determined by what someone is willing to pay for it. and guess what?
he paid EVERYTHING for you.
i've heard a lot of people express guilt and shame over their self-injury, and say that they were afraid that god was angry or that they had hurt him. let me say right now, to everyone that reads this, HE DOES NOT HATE YOU. He loves you and his heart breaks FOR you, not because OF you. He loves you so much and he wants to see you whole. He paid the price for your restoration. He wants it so badly. The only thing keeping you from healing is...you.
Last edited by aquatickitten : 22-07-2008 at 02:24 AM.
Reason: spelling >.<
I'm at a loss; how do I get to know God? I mean, I've grown up in a Catholic household, I went to parochial school through the fifth grade. But all that seems to do is distance me from God, from who he really is and what he wants from me.
I'm being completely honest when I say I'm not sure how to know him. I just don't know what to do to get there.
Though your sins are as red as blood, they will be whiter than snow or wool --Isaiah 1:18
Sorrow may last through the night, but joy will come in the morning --Psalm 30:5
xcrashgirlx: welcome. congratulations on a job well done! a year is a wonderful milestone.
as far as the urges go, i can understand [to a point] how you feel. for me, it was a big decision to turn completely to God because it also meant that i had to give up cutting. it ultimately comes down to this: God, or self injury. aquatickitten is right in saying that to not cut is to put your full trust in God. sometimes you might struggle with that - for me, it's been more of a "do i love God more than i need cutting?" thing.
if you need to talk, seriously, shoot me a PM. i'd love to talk about it.
okay, so i just refreshed the page.
and oh, my goodness. i asked that same question.
the problem is that no one can really tell you.
it's something that you're supposed to figure out on your own.
something that really helps is prayer and meditation.
and it's perfectly fine if you don't get a response right away or anything -
God operates on His time, not ours.
abraham waited for 13 years after his child was born to hear from God again
prayer is the best way to communicate with God.
Okay. That seems to make sense to me,
I was just wondering if I was going about it the "right" way...
So if I'm not being too bothersome, I have another question.
Because of my refreshed belief (for lack of better words)
I have this acute desire to simply be with God.
And I've never been a patient person...
So (though I know this is an entirely twisted way of thinking)
I've been half-contemplating suicide as the quickest way to be away from this life and back with God.
Am I completely nuts? Or do you at least understand my thinking...?
i'm a straight shooter, so here goes.
yeah, that's kinda twisted.
i understand your line of thinking.
but it is twisted.
and please don't do that.
it may be a grave mistake.
no pun intended.
i'm not a patient person, either.
i've found peace with god in teaching 2 and 3 year olds in sunday school
in sitting on the forest floor for about 10 minutes
before getting bored with it and stumbling off elsewhere.
not everyone finds peace sitting perfectly still.
no worries about that.
You're not crazy. I think a lot of us feel that way at one point or another. This world hurts, and we don't belong here.
Hang in there. This, like a lot of other things in life, is about trusting God to know better than we do. After all, he is in control of when we die! He has a plan for you, and it is a good plan. He is going to use you somehow on this earth. It hurts to stay here, like it hurts to trust him, but think of it as a gift to him. After all...it isn't a sacrifice if it doesn't cost us anything.
Paul described it like this (if you don't understand how this is related, let me know and i will try to explain it to you):
"1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"[a]made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."[b]With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 corinthians.
I'll be praying for you
