Are there activities you can do that get you out of the house that don't take too much energy? Like just sitting waiting yesterday was a bit of a distraction, maybe there is something more fun you can do.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Hmm might be an idea. Takes a lot of energy to just get out to the car but then I did it yesterday but only because I had to. Won't be going out for next few days to avoid having to walk on my ankle for to long. But something to try and incorporate into my week.
When I do go out usually it's a drive to the coast to watch the waves from the car/ a bench near where we parked or going out for a meal at a cafe. Oh and medical appointments of course! None of which are super high energy unless I walk to a further away bench.
Today was going pretty well and felt ok. But researcher organising FND study got concerned and is contacting my GP and I am getting a bit anxious about that.
Car journeys to places where you can sit sound good. Maybe it's a good thing that they're contacting your GP, you might be able to get a bit of support.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Well all I got out of it was a missed call from GP surgery at 6pm. It only rang for 7 seconds. Will follow up on it tomorrow morning but my GP isn't working again until Friday so they might not be able to help.
Will see how telephone appointment goes on Friday.
Got to try and call the IAPT place tomorrow or Thursday.
Got friends visiting tomorrow morning is would need to be in the afternoon if I did tomorrow
I'm glad it was good to see your friends although it's not good that you had a seizure and are in pain. Have you taken the amount of painkillers you're allowed?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Just been taking paracetamol at the amount am allowed. Am allowed ibuprofen now as it's 48 hours after the injury but tend to avoid them if I can as they sometimes upset my stomach. Have my usual prescription painkillers but pain isn't bad enough for them.
So yes for paracetamol but am allowed others that I haven't taken. Just woken up from nap and it's time for next lot of paracetamol so will take that and see how I go and decide whether to try the others.
I will admit that being in pain is kind of helpful for not self harming. Because I can get a hit of extra pain just by moving my foot. But maybe that is still self harm?
Last edited by long road : 07-02-2024 at 04:59 PM.
Reason: Added a bit
Trying to look after myself. I do have to manage the pain or my FND will kick in. Going to try and manage it to the point I am not in pain as long as I keep my ankle still.
Really should try and phone Doctors and IAPT but not feeling up to it. Guess if Doctors haven't phoned me by now then will just follow up on Friday. Need to phone IApT before Friday afternoon.
It was more I was exhausted so didn't have energy for explaining everything. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 1pm. So have time to call in the morning before that. Or in the afternoon after.
Phoned IAPT, admin lady said she agreed I wouldn't be suitable right now due to self harm but has taken details and passed them onto their services duty team to help me work out if I would ever be suitable. And to give me something I can use to got back to CMHT with if I am not suitable.
Went well but a bit nerve wracking. And duty may call me if they need extra details so possible unknown timed phonecall.
Wouldn't be suitable for IAPT right now because of self harm and having been in crisis recently. Things would need to be more stable and what that means varies from person to person but would be at least 2 months without hitting crisis point and 3 months without self harm.
She also explained that while I keep being admitted to hospital it probably wouldn't be advisable to do the EMDR therapy. Because working on the past medical trauma while being exposed to triggers and being under extra stress could be too much / less effective.
She couldn't say for sure whether IAPT would accept me even if things were more stable, as an EMDR practioner would have to do an assessment. I said reason I was trying to find whether they would accept me in that scneario was because if they can't treat me I would rather be sitting on a waiting list while working on getting more stable rather than waiting until I was more stable self referring to them and getting a no. And she said she is not sure the support worker charity can help people who are on waiting lists and I need their help to manage distress better.
She mentioned the multidisciplinary team meeting where people from IAPT, support worker charity, CMHT, neuropsychology and GP/ Primary Care Network all get together to discuss patients and work out who is the right service. Which might be something my GP could put me forward for as even with charity who are there to fill gap between primary and secondary care I feel like I am being passed from service to serivicr plus I have no details on when charity wil get in contact.
So I understand things a bit more but the path forward isn't clear yet. Other than try really hard to kick self harm and manage stress / distress in other ways I guess. Really hope charity gets back to me soon.
Really appreciated her taking the time to explain things a bit more to be even if there are a lot of questions marks.
Feels a bit weird that have to stop getting exposed to trauma triggers (i.e. hospital) before I can work on making hospital less triggering. But I guess each hospital admission adds to the trauma a bit and they want trauma to stop before poking the metaphorical bear.
I just don't know if I can get more stable self harm wise without dealing with trauma. And how often I end up in hospital for my asthma isn't really isn't in my control.
Wouldn't be suitable for IAPT right now because of self harm and having been in crisis recently. Things would need to be more stable and what that means varies from person to person but would be at least 2 months without hitting crisis point and 3 months without self harm.
She also explained that while I keep being admitted to hospital it probably wouldn't be advisable to do the EMDR therapy. Because working on the past medical trauma while being exposed to triggers and being under extra stress could be too much / less effective.
She couldn't say for sure whether IAPT would accept me even if things were more stable, as an EMDR practioner would have to do an assessment. I said reason I was trying to find whether they would accept me in that scneario was because if they can't treat me I would rather be sitting on a waiting list while working on getting more stable rather than waiting until I was more stable self referring to them and getting a no and having to.woat evwn longer. In reply to that she said she is not sure the support worker charity can help people who are on waiting lists and I need their help to manage distress better.
She mentioned the multidisciplinary team meeting where people from IAPT, support worker charity, CMHT, neuropsychology and GP/ Primary Care Network all get together to discuss patients and work out who is the right service. Which might be something my GP could put me forward for as even with charity who are there to fill gap between primary and secondary care I feel like I am being passed from service to serivicr plus I have no details on when charity wil get in contact.
So I understand things a bit more but the path forward isn't clear yet. Other than try really hard to kick self harm and manage stress / distress in other ways I guess. Really hope charity gets back to me soon.
Really appreciated her taking the time to explain things a bit more to be even if there are a lot of questions marks.
Feels a bit weird that have to stop getting exposed to trauma triggers (i.e. hospital) before I can work on making hospital less triggering. But I guess each hospital admission adds to the trauma a bit and they want trauma to stop before poking the metaphorical bear.
I just don't know if I can get more stable self harm wise without dealing with trauma. And how often I end up in hospital for my asthma isn't really isn't in my control.
IAPT person seemed to think the charity recovery worker / support worker was right person for now to help me with distress tolerance and to stop self harming. But would be good to get some more details on that like how long I will have to wait to be assigned a worker.
But I really do need to fix this / reduce the stress rather than just learn to cope better with things being shit. And therapy was what I hoped would o that.
It doesn't mean that you'll never be well enough for therapy although it would be great if you could start is sooner rather than later. Hopefully other helpful steps can be gone through first in order to allow you to have therapy.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
