It does make sense, because I used to be exactly the same!
I don't really know what else to say, because I know a few years ago that I would never have believed that things would get better, I had literally no hope for the future whatsoever and the only thing that was keeping me alive was hospital, but things changed and things are pretty good now!
Try and believe in it, you are not the exception here, everyone has a chance, no one is a hopeless case.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I just hope you start realising you're worth more than this and you can do it! It's not going to happen immediately and it's bloody hard work, but it is possible, it's just easy to forget sometimes and slip back into what feels safe, even if the 'safe' stuff is self harm and hospitals.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Everyone has said exactly what I would have. You are worthy of being a person and alive, Katie. No one and nothing should make you think otherwise. Stay strong xxx
You're all so awesome. Samartians woman was very kind talked to her for 45 minutes. I'm a bit tipsy (beyond stupid I know) and in an unsafe place. Don't know what to do. Should probably try and get myself home before anything happens.
Managed to get myself down from the bad place on my own without any police or anything (is it silly to think of that as progress?) I've decided that a fancy hotel would be much more fun than any hospital so I'm trying to get a room for tonight, if not I'll go back to Brigid. Thanks again for the help this evening x
You've done really well. It sounds like it's really hard for you to bring yourself down without outside intervention, but you've done it. Did you manage to find a hotel room?
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Yep managed to find a hotel room. Hadn't eaten in a couple of days but managed to order room service and had a bath and taken meds and off to bed! So pleased that shit didn't hit the fan this time. There's a first time for everything!
I'm back at Brigid. The joy of having got myself out of the situation safety has disappeared. I feel horrific all over again. I can't do this. When will it get easier?
Well done on keeping yourself safe and managing to do it yourself. Do you often find it hard to hang on to the sense of achievement? Its something i struggle with. Im glad your back at brigid. Is there anyone you can talk to?
I told Brigid about last night and they were really pissed off. Understandable I guess. I tried to talk to my key worker but it's hard. I managed to get through the day without anything happening (yet) and I'm at some cinema night (crap film but whatever) with staff and residents so I guess that's good distraction.
They fucking blue lighted me to hospital. They were gona call the police if I didn't comply. I told them I pass out and get confused. I can't deal with this shit. I can't handle it anymore. I can't do it.
Maybe it's worth talking to the staff at length about how you don't need to go to hospital when this happens? Get a note from a doctor at A&E or your GP?
Usually I'd say it's always best to get checked out, but as this happens a lot and they never do anything at hospital, I can't help but think of my seizures where it's best just to recover at home and there's no need for hospital as it's a recurring thing.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
