I cant believe how quickly the time has gone!
Do you learn skills whilst you are there? Something that you can take away from it when your time there ends? If youre not at a point when you feel ready to leave, can you extend your time there?
I think with me, i am intent on holding onto my pain and I guess that means im not ready to move forward...so, if im honest, no i dont want to get better. But then I dont want my life to stay as it is
Nope, 1 yr is all you get. I don't know about skills - not like cbt or dbt where there are specific skills or anything. There is a follow-on group but that is just for 2 hours fortnightly.
I feel like I need some skills, so have been looking at dbt self help books to try and glean stuff from that. I'm considering asking my SW about whether she thinks a computerise CBT course or something might be possible.
When I initially applied for the TC it was b/c I had been turned down for individual psychotherapy for being too high risk and the idea was that I would get in a position to do that but I don't think I want any more psychotherapy, feel I need something practical to stop the patterns etc and me falling back into the sh etc. Does that make sense?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
DBT is mostly about recognising your emotions and how to deal with them. I went on a 12 week course (1 day a week) it was very intensive and I think it was too involved for my brain to take in at the time...but the therapy im having now is with the course tutor so she reminds me about the skills. She used alot of scripts from that dbt book for the course, so i think it will be useful for you to read. My problem is that I dont deal with my emotions and my urges...i delay them and therefore they keep on coming back to haunt me until I harm.
The wait is 2 years for any kind of therapy here and so I wasn't ever referred as they didn't see the point. The individual therapy I was referred to was out of the area.
Maybe I am just being too needy
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
youre not being too needy Carrie, I feel you need something in place to support you whilst you carry on moving forward. youre making all these positive steps and yet i feel it must be quite a lonely place without outside support....sorry if im wrong but thats how i would feel if i didnt have my therapist, maybe i am the needy one!
If ever I can help you with some of the dbt, you only need to ask and i will try xx
It is terrible lonely. I have my TC but then outside of that there is nothing because I am not harming etc so no contact with any other mh peeps except an appt with my SW every couple of weeks or so, which isn't really that helpful apart from practical stuff. I have my 32 week review on Tues and my SW should be coming along so maybe I should pluck up the courage to bring it up, I don't know.
Thanks hun
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Theres no harm in asking Carrie, it would be a shame if all your hard work goes to pot purely because you havent got follow on support. I think you ought to have a word with your sw and see if she can arrange anything.
Do you ever see your gp? Although hes not my favourite person at the moment he does offer me alot of support,
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Hollz but b/c you are both named, they can go after one of you for the debt as you are joint and severally liable - unless there is some random quirk of law in Scotland, I didn't do any Scottish law.
Rowie, why is it that your home is a trigger. Do you want to recover hun?
Silent, it might be that these meds make things better for you so try not to worry
Yeah I know we are both liable which is why I am so mad, coz I know he will do **** all and in the end I will need to pay it, but if I don't pay nothing will happen to me, beside maybe a default or summat and as I am already in a trust deed (scottish iva) my credit cant get much worse anyway, but ahh I dont want to end up paying it, coz its fukkin bill he should be paying it, but he is a wee wanker and ignorning everything and there is very little I can do about it..................
My friend Nikki is moving into the flat tomoz, which will be good I feel. I met Nikki on here, a few years ago, she aint been on ryl for over a year anyway, but she is still one of my best friends, so will be good to have her on board and to some extents, we will understand each other,
She was over tonight for a few, then we went back to hers, I think she wanted her mum to meet me, so her mum would be okay with her moving in with me and that, so yeah looks like she move in tomoz. I said I will go and get keys cuts in the morning, drop them off, coz then I will be going to the football, so yeah but Nikki is moving in tomoz as far as I can determine, so yeh that be good in most respects :)
Hope everyone doing okay, I have had about 2 bottles of wine tonight, gonnae hqve a smirnoff ice the now and my meds and hopefully I will sleep now........... xxxxxxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
It sounds like it will be good with Nikki moving in hun.
I'm going to stay in today, I was going to go to the supermarket but I know I'll end up buying stuff that I shouldn't so not going. Hopefully I will be able to go tomorrow. I'm waiting for my meds to kick in as I am feeling anxious right now.
How's everyone doing?
Last edited by ThinkingofRecovery : 20-02-2010 at 12:28 PM.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Morning Carrie. hope the meds kick in and its great you realise if you went to the supermarket youd buy the stuff so not going.
what will you do today?
I have just taken my eldest to youth club and deciding what to do with the little 2.
Hollz ~ thats great Nikki is moving in.
Hope everyone else is good?
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
It's horrible feeling anxious, Carrie. What makes it easier for you to go out? It's strange how some days it's really difficult to, and others aren't so bad.
I'm not sure what to do with my day. Tried to do a guided relaxation thing but mind keeps wandering. I'm struggling today with urges. Might see if I can splurge in my journal to see if that helps. I feel like I am so alone with these thoughts and urges.
How are you Sam?
Laura, why are you irritated hun?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Maybe you could try writing a short story or something? Give you a project to get stuck into today. Is there anyone you can call about the thoughts and urges? It doesn't seem right that you should have to be alone with them.
I'm irritated by that thread in SD. Yet another negative stereotype for BPD.
Hope everyones doing ok, I am just up, not hungover but just feel like 'ughhh' and my stomach still sore, thats been like a week its been sore, so I am not going to do a lot, decided not to go to the football, got to go into town and get keys cut, and nikki is moving in laters, and think tonight we both just going to have a few wee drinks
Right now, I badly need a cup of tea, so thats what I am off to make :)
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
