I could easily be a dress size smaller and be more healthy than I am now :(
Having my hair done always makes me feel better. It's the one thing that I kept doing through even the worse times even when I wasn't washing it for a week or two.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
changing your meds always seems like a big step but sometimes its for the best but if you feel that the ones ur on just now are working maybe you should tell your psych exactly what you feel
If theyre not doing enough for you is it not worth trying new ones just incase they work more effectively and make you feel much better.
What are you so scared of hun? xx
yea. It's just last time they changed them, i took it soo badly, ended up getting sectioned, and assaulting a police officer :'( It took me to a really bad place. I can't go back there
Oh hun I can understand your fear, have you told your psych how you feel. Im faced with a med change in three weeks time and im fearful of it without what youve been through....maybe confide in your psych or doctor xx
Maybe they will monitor you closer this time...I hate it when they think they know better than us,
but they dont have to go through what we have to endure xx
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Hollz but b/c you are both named, they can go after one of you for the debt as you are joint and severally liable - unless there is some random quirk of law in Scotland, I didn't do any Scottish law.
Rowie, why is it that your home is a trigger. Do you want to recover hun?
Silent, it might be that these meds make things better for you so try not to worry
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
It triggers me because it makes me realise how useless i am as a person and a wife and a mother...I dont have one tidy room in my house. I used to take such pride in my home and it is a mess. It makes me feel useless and neglectful and worhthless. I am ashamed and I dont allow any visitors in the house...I dont even have my parents over because I am so embarrassed. And bedtime is a trigger for me too and because i dont allow anything to happen in the bedroom because of my past it makes me feel yet again ashamed and useless and.....eeven just writing this i feel triggered...i get so angry with myself for being the way i am.
Thats what we are concentrating on in therapy...my emotions. My emotions trigger me and the main emotions that I struggle with are fear, shame and anger....**** i can feel such a rage in me over this.
I used to have my bag packed and hidden in my wardrobe because of how I feel....i sometimes just want to flee and run from everything..
Gosh...sorry, i dont know where all that came from. xx
Yeah it is Carrie....i normally keep it all hidden and bottle it all up until i explode and thats when bad things happen and i dont see things getting better unless i can sort things out at home and i cant do that because i am depressed and anaemic and just dont have the energy.
In answer to your previous question as to whether i want to get better.......im not sure. A big part of me, if not all of me believes i deserve what im going through and therefore why should i deserve to get better. I admitted to my therapist that i did things for her and not me...i dont think she knew how to take that.......im one confused person right now and im literally hanging by a fine thread
I think tonight it is all poring out and it has made me realsie how far i have to go xx
I understand re the realisation how far there is to go. I'm nearly 2/3 the way through my year at the TC and although I am not self harming right now, it is so close and all the other stuff just seems too much to even begin to tackle. I thought a year was a long time but maybe it isn't.
I ask re the recovery because I don't think it can happen unless you can make that decision that you want to and are willing to stick it out through the tough times in order to recover.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
