Its just the usual Carrie no harming and take iron pills or I lose them both. I see my doctor on 1st march and my therapist on the 3rd of march. I really want to try because i cant afford to lose them and their help. I am swapping one method of harming with another which doesnt solve anything but it keeps me on top of the self punishment that I feel I need.
Ive not been where you are now Carrie but I do empathise with you. xx
It feels as though you are stuck hun and you need something or someone to help you out of it but for some reason nothing at the moment seems to help you change this pattern. I really I wish there was a way to help you move forward.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I am stuck Carrie and to be honest it is tearing me apart. but with my 'sensible hat' on i must stop harming and this is what I must try to do with the time ive got left before the appointments. I think this is why my bad eating habits have kicked in as its another form of si for me
hi everyone.
Just popping in to say hi and hope your all ok.
I probably wont be around until monday now but if anyone needs me pm!
xxxxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
I'm sorry, don't have a lot of words tonight. As I'm sure most of you guessed by earlier posts, I did miscarry last night, I feel guilty because you know my heads been a mess, I didn't know if I was coming or going, I had still been drinking, its my fault and im so mad and angry with myself at the moment.
I also have a touch of food poisining apparently, but I couldn't eat even if I wanted to, still not consumed since Friday night, but I have tried small things even, but not much has helped that.
Atm, I am just sitting here, I don't know how I feel, was sitting just spaced out on the couch for ages and now I'm like at the end of my tether, what do I do in a crisis, hit the bottle, all I can harm is myself now and I intend to.
Thanks for everyones messages and support though, its appreciated xxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
morning i just hear a friend of my got killed serving in afghan :(
Just wanted to add my sympathy Cheryl, hope you are doing okay and I'm here if you need to talk, I know how hard it is to lose a best friend, and my thoughts are with you at this time xxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Your probly still in shock though, for some reasons its always easier the first few days - then it hits you, like a brick :( - anyhow, you know we are here.
xXx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Im sorry you slipped up, do you want to talk about why it happened?
Im wishing things would happen quicker, nothing moves fast enough for me right now...
no i dont understand it either, just an overwhelming feeling i have right now xx