sorry to hear that.
Im not really upto much...going out this afternoon with family to see mum in law as its her birthday..bought her a lovely cashmere jumper which she should love, well i hope so anyway lol
Friends trying to convince me to go to cinema to see valentines day, god even the whole thing about romance tirggers me so i really dont want to go, but cant admit that either because i cant the whole im being stupid lecture.
Dont think i can be bothred getting dressed and getting bus into town, esp as my back still kinda hurts.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
hey love.
i know its hard when romance triggers moods.. could you maybe go and see a different film with her another day or get her come to yours and watch a film on tv ?
hope your back is better tomorrow.
me - im having a crapy day where i just feel empty. i went to the shops because ive been living off of nothing for the past 5 days.. my friends keep trying to contact me and i ignore them i just dont have anything to contribute.. i nearly bought pills but didnt so i guess thats good.
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
It might be good just to contact them, because it can help with your mood perhaps, the same with eating, once you eat something your mood might go up as well
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
This weekend has been somewhat hellish to most extents. I wok eup on Saturday hardly above to move. I think it was a combination of my personal trainer at the gym on Friday and moving into my flat, which involved some suitcases and heavy boxes.
I was kinda okay when I got up and I was like, I need to go to the letting agents as the have given me the wrong key for the outside door, but they were shut - so I went to the football. I was in so much pain though at the footy, I left at half time, first time I have ever left a game in my life, but I felt like absolute ****.
So I went to asda to get some stuff for the flat, went back to flat and just lay down in bed, I was aching all over and knew I had had to go to carris as she was having people over for her birthday, me best friend - couldn't let her down.
Initially I opted for a bath with some radox in hope it would make me feel better, could I gert the hot water to work no, so I ended up having a shower but then I went to lie down again, text her saying I was a bit poorly an dowuld be over later. Got overs hers abotu 10pm, sat for a few hours in sooo much pain and left eventually about 1.30, went back to flat and of course, I was locked out. Options, go back to carris where there would be no bed to lie on and considering I was in pain - nope, go to my mums, didnt wanna at that time and hotels - about 90% of which were full because it was valentines, ahhhhhhhh - I eventually got a room about 3am this morning in glasgow airport, and lay there without meds, moaning as I was in so much bloody pain, no sleep but I just didnt wanna have to move, £75 for the priviledge, which will be getting claimed back, I'm telling you.
Today, my head is bouncing, my bones are aching and I can't take anything. I eventually plucked up the courage to take a paracetemol, and ended up puking in the sink, so that didnt go too well.
Im at my mums atm, picking up laptop, bedcovers and a few other stuff. I am annoyed as I am quite a private person and I had put the valentines gift and n card from avid in my drawer, and she has been in there as it is now on top of the drawers, so she will ask me now, i bet she thinks its dave nut its not him
Sorry I feel like I am moaning non stop, but I just feel like absolute crap, absolute crap, I don't think its the flu, just trying to do too much, bed early tonight me thinks - just hope the screaming kids in that flat block have shut up by then.
I have no net at the flat yet, I might be able to connect through my mobile but I dunno, but hope everyone is okay anyway
I've also not eaten since friday night. Yesterday I did try to and I tried a yoghurt today, but I just keep being sick.
Sorry your sore too mari, that guy was wanting to fight me because I told his son that rangers were *****, and st mirren were going to hump this week, not always the best move in glasgow, but I can never keep my mouth shut, and he was a prick anyway :)
Away to die on the couch in my new flat soon I hope, ciao to all xxx
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
i think you should really go to the docotors holly considering everything, its better to get checked out.
Yea im going out but i dont want to see that film, i have a feeling we are going to end up arguing over it, plus im still sore ha ha, the amount of meds ive had
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I need to go in the morning to get a sick line anyway, i'm looking forward to tonight, meds meds meds and proper covers, still at my mums atm, just going to go in a minute though i guess, before i pass out.
I've thrown up twice since I've been here, I just drank some milk there as I felt I had nothing inside me, and yeh well it is no more ugh
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Hi everyone!
How are you all?
I'm in college on my half term how gay :(
xx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Hi Hellz, i'm not bad just getting on with my friends essay i promised i'd help her with. It's not too bad in college today coz i'm with charlie and Chris but tomorrow i've got extre math's class and then i'm going to have to start my english lit coursework.
How's your day going?
xxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
argh maths and course work are such scary sounding words im glad im done with all the learning stuff lol. yeah its not too bad not got much to do this afternoon apart from playing with monkeys which is always fun.
I'd love to play with monkey's!!!!
It's not too bad i guess i'm just used to it now but i've never had to come into college on my half term but i am off to Newcastle on Wednesday so it's not all bad!
xxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
I hope you feel better soon, Hollz :( maybe try eating some soup when you're less queasy.
Has anyone got an experience of Pathways to Work interviews?
Nope but I have one on 25 Feb. I'm a bit annoyed really because it is mandatory if you are on ESA, which I am at the moment. The reason I am annoyed is that I already self-referred to the disability advisor and have had a meeting with an organisation that are going to find me a unpaid work placement, to see if I can manage. I feel like the ESA peeps are trying to make things more difficult when I am already trying to get back to work in a sensible manner and I don't need the extra stress. Argh.
Sorry, off on one.
Seems I missed alot. I've just gotten back from my sisters via a meeting with a Right 2 Work person, which sounded promising yet scary.
I enjoyed seeing Tyler (who is 4) and Kara (11 weeks tomorrow) and it was great that my sister trusted me to look after them last night whilst she and her fiance went out - they had a good time too :)
However, struggling with ideas in my head and the news that my older sister's neighbour was battered by her partner on Saturday and my older sister was there - too many hurtful feelings etc took me back to when my older sister went through all that crap.
Sorry, long post.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Im sorry youre going to have to go to this other meeting re getting back to work when youve already sourced out a route yourself....that sucks.
What is ESA? only im on DLA and what was/still is Incapacity Benefit and was wondering if im going to get invited to one of these return to work interviews....thing is im nowhere near well enough to go back. Is that something I have to prove to them?
Have just been for coffee with my parents, youngest daughter, sister and niece, it was really nice where we went and it was quiet so my anxiety levels were low
ESA is Employment Support Allowance, which is the benefit for new peeps on the sick i.e. Incapacity Benefit but I think the focus is supposed to be on helping people back into work but is actually Incapcity Benefit under a different guise. They say that they aren't there to pressure people into work who can't but it kinda feels like that to me.
I'm glad you had a good time having a coffee out hun :)
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
