I keep switching every 10 minutes, it's exausting. i have no control over it. Alice keeps jumping in and out and i don't know what's going on because i keep losing hours at a time. sometimes it's only 15 minutes but it's just so hard atm. Chaotic inside. I don't know what to do anymore. i want to just curl up and die. at least until the memories stop coming back, and the flashbacks stop. coming up to an abuse anniversary soon. do not want.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
(((((( inferiority complex )))))))
sorry that things are hard for you at the moment
you are in our thoughts
((((facet)))) sorry your P doc is being an ass to you
(((( slacker )))) sorry you are having an hard time
((((( Eclectic*a)))) sorry you are having a hard time too
We are mostly feeling ok at the moment REI still isnt so good we are going to talk to our P doc about what is going on with her .
Well that went ... not so great actually. I had a flashback + panic attack as soon as they mentioned the abuse and the r###. my mom was there and she wouldn't shut up and stop saying r### and i felt really embarrased >.< Then laura came out and had a go at my mom but obviously she thought it was me and now i feel really guilty. bleh.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
I don't understand. It can only be me. There can be no others. But she isn't me. She is the one who tells me bad things. She wants me to hurt myself. I argue with her constantly. But it has to be me.It can't be anything else. It doesn't feel like me. When i SI, I don't SI, she does.This is making no sense. Sorry for posting. Want to tell but I can't tell anyone.
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
the last four weeks or so have been really rough going. more so than usual and it seems many people are going through a similar thing. this sucks bigtime
hey just wondering if this thread incluses derealisation and depresonalisation, or should I make a seperate thread for them? Thanks and I hope everyone is ok today.
Hi Fallen Rain. I have absolutely nooo idea where we go :) so I won't be very helpful about that. As someone with DID, I often feel that if I am co-conscious, I am hiding behind an alter's face and time gets all wonky. But when I lose huge chunks of time, I have no idea where I go.
I would call being dissociated in an "unwell" way anything that is severely interrupting your functioning.
Also, did you mean dissociative amnesia? Sorry, bit confused, haven't heard of dissociative anesthesia.
Last edited by Horizon : 27-05-2009 at 08:19 PM.
Reason: spelling
I wonder if we could make an educational thread about DID, because I'm getting pretty tired of people not believing in it, and being under the impression that it's rare, or too rare for people on this site to have. Maybe I should pm a mod to ask if I could post some info from accredited sites or something. Seriously. Does this sound like a good idea? I feel like DID gets so much belittlement and disbelief.
EDIT - I pmed a mod.
Last edited by Horizon : 28-05-2009 at 05:31 AM.
Reason: additional info
Eclectic*a - I've read a lot on DID, and I believe it's actually a lot more common to have more than 2 splits, in fact I tend to be more suspicious of liars when they only have 2 splits. I completely hear what you're saying though.
Does anyone here suffer from fugue states? I've been told I suffer from these but I looked it up, and whilst I agree I dissociate and act strangely when I do, I don't think I travel places? Unless I'm blanking that, normally when I'm dissociated I stop moving completely, and I do come out in other places, but that's usually because I've been taken to a&e or something by someone else.
Just a bit worried.
Also, have any of you been in hospital for your DD? Just it's taken them 5 years to diagnose Dissociative Fugue, and I've been through so many misdiagnoses, and I remember when I was in hospital I was always told my dissociation was that I was bored, rude, silly, attention seeking. I just wonder if people had paid attention to it at the start I wouldn't have done all the stupid things I ended up doing.
Yes, I've been hospitalized once for my DD. I was at a residential program and had lost a few weeks of time there, and could barely remain "conscious" for more than thirty seconds, so they took me to the hospital.
I can't really help with the fugue part though, sorry. Hopefully someone on this thread will be able to, though it's been pretty quiet.
I was wondering if any of you have advice on how to break the news?
I don't know what exactly is wrong with me, but I've told my boyfriend and he simply didn't believe me. He told me to stop pretending, that nobody's really that messed up and then ignored it. I'm embarrassed of bringing it up again, but I'm seriously struggling to keep things at bay lately.
I also can't imagine going to my gp and saying "I think there's another part of me trying to kill us/I think there's another part of me messing up everything I do".
Just how are you supposed to tell people that kind of thing??
Maybe just go to your GP and tell them what you said just now: that you don't really know how to say it, but it feels like there is some part of you trying to do damage to you. They will point you to appropriate help.
Are you searching for a diagnosis from a professional, or have you been diagnosed and need extra support with it from your GP? Sorry, I'm moving really slowly today, just wanted some clarification.
And no, I've never been diagnosed properly. I started a therapy about half a year ago for this and for SI, but I broke it off after a few sessions because it felt like it made it worse.
I've been reading up on the internet (obviously), but it's getting out of control and I just really need to speak to somebody, because I can't do this on my (/our??? Who am I or who is she to decide what I really am or what we really are??) own.
I just don't know how to say that. I'm scared I'll be judged or locked away, as even my boyfriend who was always very understanding and patient has reacted so strongly.
