Yeah that's a really good idea. To give them credit Brigid did try and ground me and it helped. I was actually doing pretty well before ending up here so I'm not quite sure what happened. I put it off for a couple f weeks and was able to speak to my mum and staff about it and I've never done that before I've just went. Pretty disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to totally hold off from it. Anyway. I just need to keep grounding myself I suppose. Figure out techniques. One of the members of staff said I should talk to my brother (who's five and wasn't around in 2007) but my step mum is really hard to get in touch with so it never happened. Good idea though.
There is literally no point in drinking. Wondering why you did it? To get one up on them?
You're getting what you want, you're getting admitted so why drink?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Arrived on the ward. Long journey. Best friend is also on the same ward. She doesn't want me here which I'm fine with but they aren't moving me. Feel guilty. Badly need a shower.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Today has been hell. I was up all night last night seeing crisis and driving up. They took my cream off me because they needed to write it up and my skin was killing and I hadn't showered in ages, eventually got it back and managed to sort my skin but still really painful. Best friend was on the same ward as me and I was at the nurses station talking to my mum and the alarms went off. It was for her. She ligatures badly. Every staff member ran to her room then ran to get oxygen and a hook knife. I watched the whole thing completely hysterical. Staff eventually led me away and I got agitated as hell and flashbacks started. I screamed and screamed for the fucker to get off me and stop raping me. Staff tried. I calmed down. Walked past her room and she was curled up in a ball on 1:1. She's been moved to the ward upstairs now.
I've been having bad panic attacks, flashbacks and dissociative stuff. Cc came and I was panicking and having flashbacks and he was amazing at calming me down. I tried to talk to everyone, updating people and using prn. But apparently I ligatured too, I don't remember though and now I'm on 1:1 for a bit too. I'm sure I didn't ligature though. Not sure.
Sorry to vent. It's been a long day with no sleep. Tried to sleep today but been too agitated and panicky. Exhausted now.
Sorry to hear about your day. It sounds very distressing and a lot to cope with. Try and focus on yourself and your recovery though. As upsetting as it is that you're best friend is going through that, you can't be there for her unless you're well enough to. I hope that you feel better soon and can get back to the supported living place. Big hugs xx
I'm sorry that you've had such a hard day today. I'm glad seeing your cc helped calming you down. Katie how did you get sectioned? I don't know if I'm missing something about how youended up on the ward again. X
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I hope you're able to relax today and get some rest, and that it goes okay with the doctor.
Are they offering some support/treatment while you're there?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Had review with doc. Seemed ok. He dropped me to general obs, only allowed out with member of staff and staying on section. Olanzapine is being increased a tiny amount (2.5mg) so I doubt it'll do much but worth a go. Got a bit more loraz prescribed too cos panic and flashbacks have been off the scale. I've got a good key worker that I trust/know/remember so I'm pleased about that. Plan on talking to staff if I need to and keeping myself safe. No mention of discharge. Big meeting/review with everyone on Friday and mum is coming down tomorrow to bring stuff for me.
It sounds like things are rough right now. Could you ask a member of staff to come to talk to you when they're free?
You're doing well not to act negatively on these things, so well done. Keep fighting.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
