Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.. And as I climb into an empty bed,
Oh well, enough said.
I know it's over, still I cling; I don't know where else I can go, mother...
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.
See, the sea wants to take me,
The knife wants to slit me... Do you think you can help me?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly,
Though she needs you more than she loves you.
And I know it's over, Still I cling; I don't know where else I can go...
It's over, it's over, over,
It's over, over and over, ladadadada...
I know it's over,
And it never really began
But in my heart, it was so real!
And you even spoke to me and said:
"If you're so funny,
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever,
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining,
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good looking,
Why do you sleep alone tonight? I know, 'cause tonight is just like any other night,
That's why you're on your own tonight, With your triumphs and your charms,
While they are in each other's arms."
It's so easy to laugh,
It's so easy to hate;
It takes strength to be gentle and kind!
Over, over, over
Oh, over...
It's so easy to laugh,
It's so easy to hate; It takes guts to be gentle and kind!
Over, over.
'Love is natural and real
But not for you, my love.'
Not tonight, my love. Love is natural and real
But not for such as you and I, my love...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head!
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil, falling over my head...
Oh Mother, I can feel, the soil, falling over my, head...
Oh Mother, I can feel, the soil...
Past the city and the cement
The cemetery standing still
Past the mountain and the monument
The houses and the hills
Past the signs and the sirens
The sinners and the saints
I went as far as I could get...
Past the hallowed and the horror
The humbled and agreed
I went as far as I could get
Cause if I am unloved, I have unloved too
I went as far as I could get
And I'm not far enough yet
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
Have you ever wondered?
Well I have, about how when I say, say "red," for example,
There's no way of knowing if "red" means the same thing in your head as "red" means in my head when someone says "red."
And how if we are traveling as almost the speed of light, and we're holding a light, that light would still travel away from us, at the full speed of light.
Which seems right in a way..but I'm trying to say..I'm not sure.
But I wonder if inside my head, I'm not just a bit different from some of my friends.
These answers that come into my mind unbidden,
These stories delivered to me fully written.
And when everyone shouts like they seem to like shouting,
The noise in my head is incredibly loud.
And I just wish they'd STOP.
My dad and my mum and the telly and the stories would stop for just once.
And I'm sorry, I'm not quite explaining this right.
But the noise becomes anger and the anger is light.
And this burning inside me would usually fade, but it isn't today.
And the heat and the shouting.
And my heart is pounding.
And my eyes are burning.
And suddenly.
Everything, everything is...
Quiet.
And though the people around me, their mouths are still moving.
The words they are forming cannot reach me anymore.
And it is quiet, and I am warm.
Like I've sailed...into the eye of the storm.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
I've been a bad bad girl, I've been careless
With a delicate man. And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can. Don't you tell me to deny it;
I've done wrong and
I want to Suffer for my sins.
I've come to you
'Cause I need
Guidance to be true,
And I just don't know
Where I can begin.
What I need is
A good defence 'Cause I'm feeling
Like a criminal,
And I need
To be redeemed
To the one
I've sinned against.
(...)
Heaven help me
For the way I am, Save me from
These evil deeds
Before I get them done.
I know tomorrow brings
The consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like
The next will never come.
Oh help me but
Don't tell me to deny it;
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till
I'm good enough for...
I've got a lot to lose,
And I'm betting high,
So I'm begging you,
Before it ends,
Just tell me where to begin.
What I need,
Is a good defence
'Cause I'm feeling
Like a criminal,
And I need
To be redeemed
To the one
I've sinned against
(...)
Let me know the way,
Before there's hell to pay,
Give me room to lay
The law and let me go.
I've got to make a play,
To make my lover stay,
So what would an angel say,
The devil wants to know.
What I need
Is a good defence
'Cause I'm feeling
Like a criminal,
And I need
To be redeemed
To the one
I've sinned against.
(...)
Everybody waits for Christmas,
For me it's New Year's day
That's gonna come and take my blues away.
I'm wishing on the stars for Christmas, And hoping for a better day When it doesn't hurt to feel this way...
And everywhere there's joy around this festive time of year,
And happiness has never felt so far away.
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas, I'm singing goodbye to the year before,
I know that the next one will be different, so much more...
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas,
And I'm not supposed to feel this way,
All that I want this year for Christmas is New Year's day.
It's only seven three more days til Christmas,
Six more till new year's day;
It's not a good time to feel this way.
Everywhere the snow surrounds you,
And melts your troubles away;
I can only hope to feel the same... I know that we tired in the joy this time next year! But happiness has never felt so far away...
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas,
I'm singing goodbye to the year before, I know that the next one will be different, so much more!
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas,
And I'm not supposed to feel this way,
All that I want this year for Christmas is New Year's day.
I remember how I used to feel at Christmas...
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas,
I'm singing goodbye to the year before, I know that the next one will be different, so much more!
All of the bells ringing out for Christmas,
And I'm not supposed to feel this way, All that I want this year for Christmas is New Year's day...
BBQ food is good.
You invite me out to eat it, I should
Go, but I'm feeling kind of nervous, And not quite myself,
So I'm running late on purpose,
And I know this won΄t help
How things have become between us,
But if I go you'll give me hell,
And that I don΄t know how to fix it
Is making me unwell.
Well...
I arrive at your house
But you've just got up
And you are wearing a towel
And your eyes look dark. I help to dry your body,
And I see your cut,
So I give you a plaster
And we cover it up.
I say "Have you been crying?"
And you say "Shut Up"
So we sit in the garden
And touch the grass
With our hands.
The sun is going down now,
And it's been okay
You tell me all these things you did
While I was away,
And this worries me somewhat.
You say you're fine;
Listen: Can you hear it?
Does it speak? Will I feel it?
Will it hurt? Am I near it? I don't know.
I don't know how more people haven΄t got mental health problems; Thinking is one of those stressful things I've ever come across,
And not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazy. I think I should try and read more books,
And learn some new words;
My sister used to read the dictionary,
I'm going to start with that. I'd like to travel,
I want to see India and the pyramids,
A whale and that race with all the bicycles in France,
I'm not sure about rivers, they scare me But I love swimming, I'm good at it,
And when I swim I think about numbers,
I count
The laps.
When I was younger I saw a house burn down,
And I walked past it everyday for the next six years,
Derelict, black, chalky and dangerous;
I wondered if squatters lived there,
I'm still not sure but I know there were never any parties 'cause it was ****.
After a while, the council got round to tidying out the town, Making it less offensive here and there,
They said it was an eyesore so they tore it down.
Behind the house was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word '****' written on it in giant letters, And now I walk past that.
I like sitting in the park
And I like walking through it I like taking my dogs there
And friends,
and I like being alone
I like flowers and simplicity I like compassion and thoughtful gifts
I like being able to shout
But I wish I could be quiet When I'm quiet people think I'm sad
And usually I am.
Sometimes when I'm at a busy train station,
Somewhere big with the noisy trains like King΄s Cross,
I feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out because I've got something to say Don't you want to share the guilt? Don't think, just try and sleep.
Once there was a great storm,
Pushed my head beneath the waves,
I was gone.
Underneath the walnut tree,
Where you said you'd wait for me,
And I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time.
Why, why do I come here?
Seeking out the memories I hold dear,
'Cause you put your spell on me,
Made me live in memory,
And I'm frozen in just the wrong time.
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time.
Who walks down these halls,
living vicariously through the soles of her feet?
Who traces her fingers along these walls?
Who makes the floorboards creak?
I love you, I love you.
I don't say those words 'cause they never sound real.
I love you, I love you.
I don't have a body and I can't even feel.
I ran away from you, and now look how far I've got
I've shared some secrets that I'd hope you'd keep,
They're words that don't come out. And I should have crashed the car,
the night I drove alone
Escape from August cold, woah-oh.
And you talk like someone else.
I ran away from you, and now something's killing me
you hang me up as a souvenir of what I couldn't be.
And I should have crashed the car, when I was all alone
Escape from all I know, woah-oh.
Woah-oh-oh-oh.
And you talk like someone else.
When I'm gone, are you gonna miss me? Are you even listening? Do you even care about anything at all?
It takes a stiff upper lip just to hold up my face.
I gotta suck it up and savour the taste of my own behaviour.
I am spinning with longing faster than a roulette wheel.
This is not who I meant to be.
This is not how I meant to feel.
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
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