and it is an honor, anyone strong enough as you are deserves recognition.
although you feel you may not be strong, you would not be here today if you weren't. others need your strength to overcome there personal struggles as well. maybe you will help some of those, as well with your story. and i hope you stay strong. others are here for you as well.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
The next day I reluctantly joined the others on a trip out by the river. Neither Catherine nor I were in the mood for the excursion and spent most of our time hanging back and trying to find something that would work for self harm, driving Gina round the twist to the point where she threatened to make the whole group go home if we didn’t quit it. We quit it.
After strolling along beside the river and watching Dillon accidentally nearly knockout a swan with a piece of unexpectedly solid stale bread we piled back into the mini van and headed off to a nearby field with a playground. I stayed a little removed from the group, preferring to watch than to participate but my icy mood thawed as I watched Riana tackle Catherine to the ground and Dillon play on the slide with the giddy grin of a three year old.
Soon the nurses were moving us on for the final part of the journey, a walk through the more rural area beside the river. We walked until our heels were blistered and our troubles were left behind on the banks. Half way through the walk I was lagging behind, trying to catch the sharp breaths that were puncturing my chest. I ignored the pain and hurried on to catch up with Dillon and the pair of us danced down the street, singing songs in mad pitches.
With each step I pushed back the pain rising in my chest, gripping it in a cold crunching grip. A low wheeze was re sounding in my lungs and soon the pain rose to a fiery intensity that almost brought me to my knees. I fumbled shakily in my pocket for my inhaler, shoving it in my mouth and trying to gather enough air to breathe the medicine in.
Dillon called for Gina and Mick, his eyes heavy with concern. I tried to form the words to comfort and reassure him but nothing escaped my lips besides the desperate wheezing gasps for air. The world tilted sideways and I was on my hands and knees, each breath tearing through my chest more painfully than the last. Gina held my inhaler to my mouth and I breathed in as best I could, grimacing as the taste hit the back of my throat. Gina glanced at Mick worriedly, a questioningly look in her eyes then asked me if I needed them to call an ambulance. I shook my head vigorously, my hatred for hospitals and ambulances heavier than my fear and pain.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
xx
